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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my fussy eater DS in for free school meals.

97 replies

Electriclaundryland · 05/01/2015 10:23

He is crying and protesting. He's only got two terms that they'll be free for and I want to make the most of it. He wants sandwiches instead like he usually has.

I should add he has a medical condition that means he really does need good nutrition. I was hoping it would help him broaden his dietary horizons a bit. He's dreading it so much that I feel like a bastard.

OP posts:
bigjimsdiamondmine · 05/01/2015 10:27

I don't think its unreasonable to give it a go, maybe monitor it after a week or so. The ones at dds school are very good and cater for fussy eaters, does he like jacket potato? at dds school they always have that option every day, and we have a handout in advance so if there's a day where he wouldn't eat anything you could bring in a pack lunch just for that day.

Original poster
Electriclaundryland · 05/01/2015 10:30

No he currently won't eat a jacket potato although I'm doing them tonight as a practise run.

OP posts:
MrsTawdry · 05/01/2015 10:34

I made my fussy 6 year old do it too OP. It was too good an offer to miss and after a week or three she got used to it! Now she eats everything th give her. She's less likely to say NO to the dinner ladies who do ask that she eats two thirds of her meal before she has the cake or whatever is for pudding.

She likes most things they give now.

MrsTawdry · 05/01/2015 10:35

Oh and I spoke to the cook who was just gorgeous and took DD into her kitchen, showed her round...then said "Now...you know me and I know you so if you're stuck on what to choose or don't know what something is, you can ask me and I know your name and everything!" so DD was happy about that.

PrimalLass · 05/01/2015 10:38

I've not bothered. Here (Fife), the jacket potato is half a potato. That's all DD would eat and it isn't enough food. She'd then fill up on pudding.

emms1981 · 05/01/2015 10:40

Give it a go but hope you have better luck than me :(
My son was putting his hand up and asking for hot dinners even tho he had a packed lunch and the teachers said he was eating it, oh great I thought.
Then he would come home and say "I tried a bit" and one day got told off because he said he" wasn't eating that it tastes like cat food" it was lamb hot pot.

Now he only wants them on a friday because they get chips.

Goldmandra · 05/01/2015 10:42

It depends on how you think he might respond. My DD stopped eating at school altogether because the lunchtime supervisors tried to insist that she ate a certain amount. In the end we had to revert to packed lunches because she wasn't eating anything between breakfast and the end of school.

I would have a conversation with the school about their approach to how much children eat first and see if you think it is one that would work for him.

MairyHoles · 05/01/2015 10:43

My daughter goes for school meals maybe half the time but announced last night she wants to go for packed lunch every day from now on! She is fussy and I feel that she will eat more school lunch than she eats at home.

My mum was there at the time and was trying to explain that it was free now so she can go every day! This meant nothing to my 6 year old!

We agreed that she would go on days where we know it's something she likes.

I can sympathise though. Less money and hassle if she would just bloody go to school lunches! I intend to send her on days when I'm running late!

m0therofdragons · 05/01/2015 10:45

Half a jacket isn't enough food? What age child? Presumably it comes with cheese/beans and salad. That's plenty for ks1 kids isn't it?
Op try not to show your concern but discuss it with the school so they're prepared for the challenge. Don't make it a focus but try to talk in a positive way. Good luck x

Original poster
Electriclaundryland · 05/01/2015 10:45

OK I'll give it a go. Will carefully check the menu at first and give a big playtime snack. I hope this works.

OP posts:
Hairtodaygonetomorrow · 05/01/2015 10:45

Like everyone, I think this could go either way. Eating with others can help broaden out their tastes and get them trying more things and I think most children who are just a bit fussy are like this. However some children really won't eat the different things so just eat less/very limited diet at school. My dd just ate the carbs so missed out on the protein/veg anyway and was putting on weight, it didn't work for her.

munchkinmaster · 05/01/2015 10:47

Send him in. A bit of social eating and peer influence will be helpful. But As posters said the dinner staff need to know not to back him in a corner or give attention to poor eating.

munchkinmaster · 05/01/2015 10:49

Save the snack for after school. He won't waste away in a day. You want him in there a bit hungry.

loudarts · 05/01/2015 10:51

It worked for me, dd2 would hardly eat anything but now she's used to having school dinners she eats them quite happily and is willing to try new things at home as well.

youareallbonkers · 05/01/2015 10:52

Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry.

TheIronGnome · 05/01/2015 10:53

Great idea! But give it a fair go (more than a week) of very subtle monitoring before you give up.

Goldmandra · 05/01/2015 10:53

I agree with munchkin.

If you send a big snack for break time he may not want to eat at lunchtime and that will set him up really badly.

I would send a very minimal snack for break time so he feels really ready to eat by lunch time. Food tastes a lot nicer when you are hungry.

krustyem · 05/01/2015 10:54

I was tempted but i knew mine wouldn't eat them. I read her the menu and gave her the choice and she chose packed lunches. It would have been much easier but at least i know she's not hungry and i have to cook an evening meal anyway so didn't make a huge difference to life

SukieTuesday · 05/01/2015 11:02

'Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry.'

Wow. Thanks for your wisdom.

youareallbonkers · 05/01/2015 11:03

No problem sukie, glad I could help with something so simple

Missda · 05/01/2015 11:05

youareallbonkers not all children are brought up fussy and the notion that they will eat when hungry is absolute rubbish.

I would try it OP just a couple of times a week for a few weeks. Talk to the teacher about it too.

JassyRadlett · 05/01/2015 11:06

Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry.

What an insightful post. That sure explains all the families with more than one kid where only one is fussy.

Do feel free to come by to my place and tell me where I went wrong, won't you? Starting from the post-croup food refusal to slow and steady building up of diet. It's been a real challenge so I'd really value your input on how to 'bring up' children so they're not fussy. Thanks in advance!

krustyem · 05/01/2015 11:07

Mine wasn't brought up to be fussy, she managed it all on her own. Not all children are the same, they actually have their own minds Grin

youareallbonkers · 05/01/2015 11:10

It's not rubbish, stop giving snacks and/or milk between meals. Provide the meal, don't make a fuss if it isn't eaten but do not give any snacks or milk until the next meal time. A child will not starve to death. Yes it might be tough but persevere and you will not have fussy children. Disagreeing just explains why your children are fussy lol

JassyRadlett · 05/01/2015 11:11

Oh, bonkers, you're so humorous! Thanks for the best laugh I've had in a while.