To send my fussy eater DS in for free school meals.

[Electriclaundryland]

He is crying and protesting. He's only got two terms that they'll be free for and I want to make the most of it. He wants sandwiches instead like he usually has.

I should add he has a medical condition that means he really does need good nutrition. I was hoping it would help him broaden his dietary horizons a bit. He's dreading it so much that I feel like a bastard.

I would give it a go. My DC have spent their whole school lives at schools where there is no option of packed lunches. However fussy they were at home with me, they have never starved at school.

"Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. "

That's right. I spend all my time bringing them up to be fussy. It's not easy but someone's got to do it.

I gave it a term with my DS but he doesn't eat enough. We have compromised and he will have packed lunches 3 days a week on the days he really doesn't like the lunch provided.
I get your logic but equally it's no good if he just eats bread and pudding as my DS does!

yourallbonkers not all children will eat when starved.

Self righteous people are such a joy, how would we get through life without them

You could try it for a week or so as he might find that there is something he likes. I don't agree that it will make him less fussy though. Most children will just miss the meal if they really dislike the food. I ate very few school school dinners during primary school.

Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry

Mine will simply not eat actually. but thanks.

bonkers, my son would indeed starve himself in those circumstances. My other 2 DC will eat anything. I wonder how I managed to do that.

OP, can you try it one or two days a week? That is how I started my daughter off and it worked.

Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry.

Toddlers become fussy eaters because it is nature's way of keeping them safe. They become fussy to different degrees and lots of parents of non-fussy eaters sit back and smugly congratulate themselves when, in fact, they were just lucky.

My DD2 was quite a fussy and resistant eater and the only reason she didn't end up with a massively restricted diet was that I made a point of never, ever, trying to encourage her to eat or jumping through hoops to give her the food she wanted. I made sure there was something palatable to her at every mealtime and left her to it every single mealtime for years. It was bloody hard sometime and she left the table hungry quite often.

It was also very hard to stop other adults putting pressure on her which I knew was essential as evidenced by her response to the lunchtime supervisors.

I didn't create a fussy eater. I managed a very difficult situation and your assertion is ignorant and insulting.

My DD2 was hungry at school every day for weeks and she didn't eat. The reasons behind that are in her genetic make up. She was not taught to find textures and tastes difficult to handle or to lose her appetite when put under pressure.

youareallbonkers Although most children wouldn't starve themselves to death but they might end up very underweight with your methods which is hardly a good thing.

My da has a very limited diet due to asd and he used to have packed lunches. One day he asked for school dinners like his friend an he loves them and they have opened up his foo range massively

Give it a try, keep an eye on it.

My DS1 (also in y2) switched to school dinners last Sept. Besides wanting to save money, I was hopeful that some gentle peer pressure and a change of scene might encourage him to broaden the things he would try, but I was conscious that it might backfire. Asked his TA to look out for him for the early weeks.

We got a copy of the menu, looked through what was on offer, and worked out what he would have. One day a week is "roast day" i.e. potatoes only (which he hates), so we struck a deal that he could bring a lunch in on that day only, and chose something pasta or rice-based for the other 4 days.

It's worked well, there seem to be a couple of foods that he's added to his limited repertoire, and been positive from a social point of view.

Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy.

Wrong. I have three brilliant eaters and one who eats a limited selection of food.
Fussy eating can be learned behaviour and I do think how fussiness is treated can make a difference. However like every aspect of parenting there is no one size fits all cause or solution.

I think you're dooming it to failure if you give him a big snack before. Big breakfast might be ok.

At our school the school dinners get a lot of'encouragement' to eat from the lunchtime supervisors, whereas packed lunches are left to their own devices more. That alone would encourage me to try it, maybe with packed lunches on thurs and Fri or something so it's not too pressured.

I had no option but to have school meals at my 1st primary school. They were vile and I would frequently sit with the plate in front of my all afternoon and not touch it (we ate in the classroom and plates weren't cleared until you finished). A 4 year old will indeed just not eat if they don't want it.They may not starve themselves to death but they might sit it out until dinner time!
Interestingly I wasn't particularly fussy at home and the only things I don't eat now are the horrible textures they tried to force on me at school! Mind you I sincerely hope that both the food and methods have improved...
I would suggest you give it a go as it might encourage them to try new things but if after a few weeks they aren't eating much or its a battle just give it up.

I was only polite on the third attempt.

Also if possible, encourage him to try unfamiliar things. My DS is almost entirely veggie at school, he loves all the veggie grill sort of things that he never gets at home. I'm guessing you're thinking any variety is good at this stage?

Our school also serves bread alongside dinners every day so if he eats sandwiches he shouldn't go entirely without.

youareallbonkers
Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry

In some cases bonkers you might be right - there are some children who will not eat if they think something better is on offer, or if they just don't fancy it. Looks like you have never come across a child with genuine food issues. Lucky you, I wouldn't wish it on any parent. Its enough to drive one bonkers indeed. Really not sure how I've managed to bring up my middle child to be a food refuser 'fussy', yet not her older brother or younger sister do let me know if you work it out!

OP its worth a try, only you know for sure whether your child is in fact a bit fussy or has actual sensory and refusal problems with food. I do even give my DD an occasional go at school dinners, but like another poster above, she was continuing to only eat one food group (carbs) unless it was potatoes, in which case she would literally eat none of it. Then she'd break down as soon as she was out of school, it literally ruined the rest of her day.

I agree with goldmara. I'm in the middle of a fussy two year old. We will ride it out but is so hard to never cajole. She is also quite capable of just eating meat and carbs and bring full (announces I no like that to all veg). I'm a fecking child psychologist and have given out the standard advice a gazillion times. I find that in this case it's easier said than done .

(Weaning baby is my secret weapon, no way will she be out eaten by her brother). .

It was a waste of time & money for me. My 5 yr DS wouldn't eat his school dinners except for fish & chip Fridays.

They were only given a short time to eat the food as they had to make space for the older children having the second sitting and no-one bothered to encourage them to eat. (One of the mums was a school dinner lady and explained this to me).

I partly blame genetics as DH is a fussy eater.

I am another who thinks it could go either way. Social eating is positive, school means are generally pretty uninteresting and not necessarily healthy (IMHO - and I am NOT a fussy eater!)

Can you do a combination thing? Packed lunch two days and school meal the others? That is what my dd does.

Our school does roast dinners on one day and fish or something and chips another (the same day each week as a regular) and so we can pick the type of meal our children may like.

I had a school meal with my son the other day. ('Taster' day!) It was not that great but was OK. The meat was a bit rough but roast spuds nice. Only one vegetable offered, we have at least two at home if not more. There was a pudding, which my son liked; but as an overweight person myself I am not sure that any kid needs encouragement to eat sugar.

I am not sure I would think of a roast dinner and a pudding as healthy eating but I am happy for my son to like it and eat it as he is fit and runs about a lot and I am sure it is not unhealthy either, if that makes sense! He is fussy but he does get enough nutrients and seems very healthy.

And totally agree with krustyem kids have their own minds, they are individuals.

And actually eating everything that is put in front of you is a very bad thing in our food-laden culture. Learning to discern what you like, what is good for you, what you need at that time, to know when you are full, etc etc are all very useful things. As long as a child is getting enough nutrients to thrive I think it is fine.

I would give it a try but, just my personal opinion, making food fun might help. I would also work on the food thing at home as I am sure you are. Maybe make it as much fun/the child involved as possible. Make fruity faces, make your own salad 'recepies', let your child help to choose, plan, shop for and prepare bits of meals that are safe for them to do. Breaking up broccoli with fingers, mixing sauces, mashing potatoes etc. You can get child friendly serrated teeth knives, but I am quite-knife nerouvs with kids so don't do anything you are not happy with!

I am talking specific kid knives here!

ecosweetie.com/product/ecoshark-kids-biodegradable-pla-safety-knife/

My dd (10) has been very fussy and has got less so but was a brilliant eater as a baby. It comes around and goes around IMHO. But the worst thing is for food to be an issue or a power thing so I never make my kids finish up their food or eat anything except a bit of vegetables. By that I mean they must eat some veggies but not all and never make them clear their plate of veggies. I now encourage them to eat a few of their veggies first as these cool down quicker than meat or pasta etc (usually) and I often offer finger food sized bits of tomato and cucumber with salad cream to dip at every meal. So some veg is cold and easy to eat. Eating veg first when they are most hungry and the hot veg food is still warm is much nicer than waiting for them to eat them at the end.

I always said I would never make my kids eat up food but I have changed a little on the veg as my son is so veg averse!

Hope that makes sense.

Oh sorry that was long, it is a subject close to my heart as I am overweight!

Kids are fussy because they are brought up to be fussy. He will eat it if he is hungry.

^^ this is bollocks

Ds has a very limited diet and is under a specialist dietician. He has the free school meals, but he has yet to eat any of them! (he started in September) He is given bread and butter and a yoghurt and a slice of apple, if he tolerates a small piece of what we would like him to eat on his plate.

At snacktime they are given fruit, which he will eat if it is apple otherwise he won't touch it.

There are many reasons why children can be 'fussy' - it isn't always black and white.

Mine is fussy but I started the school lunch thing slowly- picking one or two things he would like over a couple of weeks and told him to have a good look at whats on offer on the other days. Now after a term he'll take about half of the lunches, and the sandwich tray the days it's ham sandwiches. It leaves me only a 3 days of packed lunches over a 3 week rotation which is a result. The best thing is he usually hates the schools puddings- custard, fromage frais etc and just eats all his main and his soup.