In not being all humble and respectful and all that.(abortion related)

[IdontusuallyNC]

I have had the contraceptive injection twice now obviously I had it done on time and followed all instructions given to me I also usually use condoms I have 3 occasions where condom use has not been optimum all in the same weekend.

I have recently to my horror discovered that I am pregnant, POAS because I feel like crap and it felt like HG not expecting it to be the case but these things happen. Due to the amount of children I have one being tiny the nature of the relationship with my sexual partner and a quite serious history of HG and SPD(all but 1 previous pregnancy) I have booked in to have a TOP on Tuesday.

I'm quite comfortable with my decision and in general tend to be quite matter of fact about things.

My closest friend has gone very weird on me I declined an invitation for Tuesday from her and disclosed why. Ever since she has been upset because I'm not being sad enough she feels I'm being flippant about human life and not respectful.

I'm not entirely sure what she means by this and she has tried to be sympathetic not that it is needed but has mentioned this on a few occasions.

So am I meant to be sad and stuff or is it acceptable to feel positive towards the decision?

blue - same here. I had it done in Italy and the male docs were nice. The female docs and nurses were hideous. I was ok about it all until the end of a day with them going on at me. Also done on the same ward as the post natal ward so had to watch trollies of women cuddling their newborn be pushed past me.

I really don't think that women thinking of abortion late on have 'just changed their minds on a whim'. If nothing else it is anti women (and generally lacking in compassion) to judge them as so.

I really resent the argument that we are becoming blasé about abortion. It's trotted out but not really supported by data. Plus I think most women who are pro choice would support abortions being made easier and simpler in the early weeks, easy access to the tablets and a quick no fuss assessment. That could be argued as being blasé, making it a quick fix. But to me it is very sensible, avoiding late term abortions and treating a termination as what it is : a contraceptive failure, easily dealt with. If we make it harder with all these caveats of appropriate grief and reverence we start unpicking hard won women's rights. The next step is then adding further restrictions as to who csn have an abortion and when....

mytartanscarf only some people do. I know someone who announced at 22-23 weeks that she would be terminating her pregnancy as her and her partner realised they can't afford another. She knew she was pregnant from 5 weeks. It surely can't take that long can it to realise you can't afford another child? That was 4 months ago and she's now pregnant with another child. She's about 12 weeks and planning to keep this one

'It's not anti women, in fact most people would agree with you'

Yes because society is so pro women

In all honesty an announcement of that nature at 22 weeks sounds to me like a decision based on a 20 week scan, especially if she conceived again so soon.

That's fine radio, vastly different to the horrible scenario solid suggests where abortion ON REQUEST is available up to birth. Fortunately her views are minority ones and there's no movement to put her ideas into practice.

Moomin the tired old view that a person voicing any concerns about the other life in the abortion equation, ie that if the foetus/baby, really does not make that person anti women. I am so,so pro women. I can be pro women and also disgusted at the idea of a fully formed baby having its heart artificially stopped because his mother decided at 40 weeks she didn't want him after all, can you get your head round that? It's such a lazy and ultimately invalid argument - you voiced concern for the rights of a full term baby therefore you are anti women? Seriously?

Well put, Nancy.

SolidGoldBrass: I would prefer there was no abortion but that does not make me a misogynistic moron. I do not hate women and am not a moron because I choose to concern myself with the unborn child (or other words others might use to describe what would result in a born child should a pregnancy run to its natural conclusion).

Abortion is legal under conditions of law here but, in the end, some women approach abortion with such a blase attitude as to be somewhat sickening to others, me included. As a woman, I can't comprehend how another woman can go through an abortion without even a hint of regret/ come out of it feeling only positive. I personally cannot help feel that seeing an abortion as singularly postitive is callous.

It does seem that pro abortion people can get downright nasty, spiteful and abusive and say what they want, and that those who can never feel comfortable with the concept of abortion can't also speak as they feel. I may not support the idea of abortion or like that a woman can go into a clinic and get an abortion but it's not like I can stop her, so why the hystrionics?

There was no need for others here to basically attack the other poster earlier in the thread as we are all entitled to voice an opinion without being labelled a misogynistic moron or a thread disintegrating into an ugly bitchfest. Is not every one entitled to an opinion, even if you think it contravenes your 'right'? I mean, it doesn't really, does it? You can still go and do what you like, it's just some might agree with you while others don't...

The OP, it seems, is trying to get some insight into the dynamics of her friendship in the context of having told her friend about her plan to have an abortion. Obviously, the subject of abortion is emotive on both sides and, for my part, I wanted to tell the OP that I would struggle, as a friend, in the same circumstances and could understand that her friend may not feel she could be supportive at this time.
The OP and her friend may decide they can't continue with a friendship which would probably be for the best if their views are diametrically opposed. They should both be able to do that respectfully.

So in order to be 'pro-women' now you have to support the idea of terminating a pregnancy up until birth? I'm not sure that's the way to go about making society more pro-women radiobedhead

Does anyone really think the theoretical (non-existent) woman, who is blasé about terminating her 40-week pregnancy, will be a committed & engaged mother to that child? If she kills her baby after it's born, she's treated with tremendous compassion and has public resources lavished on her - in the UK, anyway. But she doesn't deserve any compassion, or even to pay for the treatment, if she tries to avoid getting to that stage?
Bizarre.

You have made a decision that is right for you.You cannot dictate how others should feel about such an emotive issue.

Oh I forgot to say thank you motherinferior.

And to the other posters on this thread. I have more conviction in my decision and feel more positive that it's the right thing to do (in my situation). So thank you all.

glitz - Google atonement baby. Very common.

Glitz I can't speak for her but I wanted my pregnancy at first, and things change.

How common pomme?

I can't get interested in healthy babies being aborted at 40 weeks. Without some proof, I just don't believe it happens. I think it is taking the argument to its logical absurdity.

It's a lot easier to justify convictions that greatly curtail women's rights, if the foetus is a viable baby rather than a small cluster of cells. So I understand why some people want to frame the debate this way, I just don't think it describes the actual situation.

bloody It is my personal opinion, that to support forced birth is anti-women. Maybe it is your personal opinion that to oppose forced birth is anti-human.

It's incredibly offensive to suggest that anyone 'just decides' to abort their baby. Even when used as a method of contraception, which I highly doubt is as common as people like to claim, thought has to go into the arrangement, the recovery, the practicalities. It isn't just 'Oh I was walking past Marie Stopes and thought I'd just pop in and grab some tablets'.

I support the right of the woman over the rights of the baby until the point where that baby is born. I would not advocate for the right of a woman to kill their newborn baby (before that tired old argument is dragged out) because after live birth, the baby has the same rights as any other human. Before birth, the woman's rights take precedence in my mind.

(I'd also like to remind people that we'd hear about it a lot more if women were aborting their 40-week babies. It's an extreme argument, designed to make those who support the rights of the woman seem like careless, baby-hating monsters. Yes, in theory, I support the right of the woman to have an abortion at any stage of pregnancy. I'm not about to start throwing a parade for the idea of terminating 40-week pregnancies).

babies being aborted at 40 weeks ... taking the argument to its logical absurdity.

Yes :) That's the point, as you summarised. I am in favour of choice up to 40 weeks, because I am wholly in favour of choice. This doesn't mean I think that choice will probably be exercised in fact. But it might be, for an assortment of possible reasons, so I support it.

'Oh I was walking past Marie Stopes and thought I'd just pop in and grab some tablets'

Abortion is legal under conditions of law here but, in the end, some women approach abortion with such a blase attitude as to be somewhat sickening to others, me included. As a woman, I can't comprehend how another woman can go through an abortion without even a hint of regret/ come out of it feeling only positive. I personally cannot help feel that seeing an abortion as singularly postitive is callous

I am taking every active step short of abstinence to prevent a pregnancy neither I or my partner want. I would not have a hint of regret about terminating such a pregnancy. I WOULD have regret that my contraception failed and I was in such a position, but the end result of being not pregnant is the absolute most important thing.

Exactly gallic

Not sure radiohead. Possibly 'common' is a bandied about term. I had a baby after abortion. Not sure he was really an atonement child though, my only sadness about the abortion was that I knew I wanted another at some point.

Quote bloody fail