To ask if anyone is setting up a fb page to discuss Tricky Dicky?

[IAmOnMyBike]

It seems we are not allowed to speak about anything negative elsewhere. Please do not speak badly of Tricky Dicky and co.

What is the point of a FB group simply to slag him off?

More like a coordination and collation of evidence thing, I think.

But there is stupidity all round now.

Who is he????

but isn't going about it in exactly the way MNers deem acceptable; or that they're not fortunate to have a good level of education,

You really think that's what has made people angry?

I'm not in the TD group but have 'liked' some of the comments.

yes it was set up as somewhere that people could discuss/challenge/whatever-you-want-to-call-it the situation without being censored by Mumsnet.

It was also as a result of numerous people being banned from the Dax page in order to silence their questioning. It wasn't specifically set up to abuse the fundraiser.

A lot of the people in the group are not from MN. Personally I wouldn't be able to link up MN posters with their FB accounts but I'm pretty sure a lot of the offensive comments are not from MN'ers.

Of course I don't think that's what's made people angry. More like a new witch hunt victim's been found, and there's baying for blood, egging each other on, and trying to be top 'good guy'. You'll be trawling ebay for a set of stocks next.

It all makes for very distasteful, grim reading.

I've said repeatedly that this would all die down immediately if the parents simply made a brief media appearance, stated that they are financially okay between themselves, the hospital, their insurance, the RMH, and their family/friends. They could shut down the donation site, donate most or all of it to the RMH, the hospital, and a preemie charity (to spread the donation around to help more that way), and then back away from the media.

That would shut down the criticism, make them look good, and restore everyone's faith in all of it.

That's not a witch hunt. That's practical advice.

Collation of evidence?

I wasn't aware MN was an official government/public body.

If you have genuine concerns report them to the police. Setting up a FB group to slag off another FB group, set up in the name of a premature baby, for what ever reason, is more than a bit yuck.

I'm not surprised MN wanted to distance themselves from this.

I can see people pooling screenshots D0in, with the intention of doing the appropriate thing with them. But not on MN and I'm not privy to the full details. Looks fairly calm and reasonable, though.

Which hopefully means it's all winding up and the appropriate action will be taken on Monday morning.

And with that, I think i'll hide the lot.

There are links to relevant organisations who would be interested in any potential fraud issues, which is helpful.

Not sure why there's a little private Group hived off from the one that was set up for discussion when MNHQ refused to allow it That's a bit pathetic and all the talk of 'moles' and invitations by PM are silly and dramatic.

More like a coordination and collation of evidence thing, I think.

What?! Is this MI5 or something?

I do agree though that Dick and the parents should shut the fundraising site down now, as it is evident that they don't 'need' the money.

To be honest Alice, I don't see the particular need for them to give what's been raised as it stands back. They've offered refunds and not been taken up. The fund as it stands is approaching £12k. So for the slightly less than 3 months they are out there it will cover around the average UK adult salary which should more than adequately cover their mortgage and bills that must be paid like gas, water, council tax and electric. And that's just what comes from GetFunding, not counting cash and PayPal. Possibly also a few incidentals and maybe as it stands at the moment they might need to downgrade their car or switch to just having one and maybe revise their expectations of foreign holidays for the next few years.

But I think they really, really need to put a stop to it now and at least make some sort of symbolic gesture to RMF in donation form.

Because the longer this goes on the more it appears to be a 'let's make them a load of cash and keep them in the manner to which they're accustomed' exercise and just more and more distasteful.

Incidentally there was a story in the Mirror today which contained a statement from the hospital which betrayed more than a little irritation with how they were being portrayed in the press. Although they did not refer directly to the claims made by fundraisers they directly contradicted many of them including pointing out their staff had gone 'above and beyond duty' providing the couple with accommodation, facilities and the means to communicate with their families at home.

Sorry it would cover almost two of the UK average salary.

A few hours ago someone posted asking what they could do.
They said they had been to mother are to try and get some stuff in support but they support a different charity. Does anyone know anywhere she can ask for support either here or in the US as she is over in a few days.
Lots of thats great and more suggestions even in the US.

Lee posted on the page, no thanks just direct everyone to the giving page....he could have chosen that time to shut it all down.

Well it's distasteful.

But the donors seem ok with it. A different set of values perhaps? A different perception of what counts as a necessity?

And I come from a background where I would rather die in a ditch than ask strangers for money - but not everyone thinks like this.

It doesn't mean that what they are doing is wrong. It just isn't what you would choose to do.

It's taken me a long time to read this so probably moved on by now. However wanted to voice my opinion. I feel very sympathetic towards the parents and hope that the baby can come home sooner rather than later and that as he already appears to be breathing on his own that he suffers no long term Ill effects from his premature birth.

I totally understand his parents wanting a 'baby moon' before baby comes along and changes their lives. I myself went on one before my eldest was born 17yrs ago.

I think this friend/employer has been very naive and or possibly knew that a headline such as medical fees not paid would attract more donations?

I also think that's it up to people if they have the whole truth if they still want to donate.

This isn't a unique situation though, this will have happened before and will happen again. I imagine though that most others will incur the hardship thrmselves, husbands leaving the mum and returning to the uk to work to pay for the rent bills and getting home ready for the mum and baby. Perhaps returning to visit if funds allow. I feel it's unrealistic to expect to stay for the full three months if you're self employed and not saved. I'm
Sure they will have saved or have a plan for if the baby had arrived on it's due date to allow for paternity leave and for the drop in the mothers pay while on maternity leave.

My personal timeline on this (not that anyone cares!) is:

1. Saw the news report about his couple and had a lot of sympathy for them having a premature baby. My youngest son was 8 weeks prem; I know how stressful it is. At no point did I think she was wrong to travel at 29 weeks pregnant as long as they had the right insurance cover.

2. Followed the link to the FB page and saw many inconsistencies from the Admin. Comments such as yes they had the right insurance, maybe they had the right insurance, nobody knows if they had the right insurance etc.

3. Saw the way people asking questions were abused and blocked. Saw the 'retard' and racist comments.

4. (and this was the clincher for me) Saw that the medical costs were being covered but Admin didn't/wouldn't update the Fundraising page. Lots of excuses about that which simply did not ring true. People still donating on the basis of helping to cover the medical expenses.

Would I have donated to help their medical costs? No. If the costs weren't covered then they had clearly skimped on the insurance for an expensive holiday.

If the aims of this fundraiser were clear from the beginning then I'd have no issue with people donating money with the CORRECT information in front of them. Instead money has been raised off the back of sympathy votes for parents of a prem baby on the basis that his medical care wouldn't be covered. That is very wrong IMO. That is what has riled me about the situation.

This could have stayed local. Donations could have been collected and sent to the couple to help them whilst they are in NY. Instead the fundraiser was saying he was going to email the American media within 7 hours of local fundraising being discussed. This was well before they knew whether or not the insurance would cover the bills.

Well I do think it's wrong to exploit the goodwill of others to personally enrich yourself. If there is a need, fine, but this seems to beyond the point of fulfilling needs and into the realm of gaining benefits. And when you are well aware that the people who are donating may have far less than that which you are asking them to provide you with then that is ethically wrong. Also, remember a lot of the people donating have only seen the Dax page where critical comments are being deleted and they may well not be aware that the people they are helping are actually considerably better off than they are.

That's why they really need to stop now. At the moment they can still just about justify what they've raised as fulfilling a need. The longer it goes on the less it can be justified on any level.

I'm also a bit about the idea that while they've raised £11+ on the one funding page, they've also had private donations pouring into her paypal account - heaven only knows how much that is. For all we know it could be another £10K. Will this be handled appropriately? Legally declared??

At no point have they stated how much they've received in that fund, which makes me wonder.

sorry, £11K+ (not 11+)

God you lot are getting ridiculous, all huffy because someone is getting money you don't think they should, because they have nice cars and you've decided that their friends and donors are being exploited - funny how the donors don't feel exploited.
All this ' that's enough now, they need to donate it to charity' , and calculating what they deserve to keep, how frustrating that no one is listening to you and they have the audacity to keep going.

Nerf, are you honestly that morally bankrupt that you cannot see the problem with people extracting money from people who are less well off than them to provide themselves with advantages which the donors cannot afford? It's like Robin Hood in reverse. And I think it is abundantly fair to point out that they have now raised almost double the UK average salary for the period they are going to be away.

Nerf

"funny how the donors don't feel exploited"

At least one of them has, hence asking for their donation back.

You are, presumably, referring to the donors on the Facebook page many of whom are friends of the family. Of course they are not saying that they feel exploited. Did you see the vitriol aimed at the person who requested a refund?!

My feelings are not based on the nice cars that the parents own (or anything else to do with their lifestyle). It's nothing to do with the parents at all actually. I'm being (apparently) "ridiculous" about the way the fundraiser has gone about this.

If it doesn't bother you then fine, we are all entitled to express our opinions. I, however, feel very uncomfortable about the deception by the fundraiser.

I am sorry you don't like the thread.

Not only are they not feeling exploited, they are actively supporting the parents and the fundraiser himself. Despite the best efforts of mumsnetters to show them how deluded and 'thick' and 'poor' they are.