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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my 17 year old to go victoria london tomorrow day time

105 replies

ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:36

hi my daughter is 17 a young 17. her and her friend who is 15 both want to meet a boy they know in victoria tomorrow day time. she days she will be home by 7pm. i really don't want her to go. i kicked him out of my house for puffing. when i have seen him its like the lights are on but no bodys home. it seems like the puff had sizzled his brain. i feel quite disapointed my daughter sees him as a friend. at one point there was talk of the 2 girls getting a cab to his house. which i think leaves them vulnerable.

i suggested they meet another day hes not gong to vanish. she says he cant do another day. i repeated to her hes not going to vanish...

so aibu? it comes down to that i cant stand him. hes a puff head. and if the girls decide not to be home by 7 it then gets difficult getting home.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/12/2014 21:39

I don't see the relevance of Victoria here.

AuntieStella · 30/12/2014 21:41

As you've suggested another day, she'll have heard that it's OK to meet him, and you're just haggling over details.

And it's hard to stop an older teen from going out.

How far (roughly) do you live from Victoria? Does she understand the need to use a black cab if a pre-booked minicar only? Can she afford the fares?

fluffymouse · 30/12/2014 21:41

What the relevance of Victoria or tomorrow??

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:41

because its quite close to central london. she does not know the area has never been there.

OP posts:
Xmas2014Santa2014 · 30/12/2014 21:41

What's a puff head? Weed?

lemisscared · 30/12/2014 21:42

Victoria is not your problem here.

Coconutty · 30/12/2014 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vivacia · 30/12/2014 21:43

Victoria? Puffing?

Tobyjugg · 30/12/2014 21:46

Victoria? Odd place to go to. What's there?

TheyThinkImCool · 30/12/2014 21:46

I don't think you are being unreasonable, I wouldn't want my daughter mixing with someone who I caught "puffing" in my house, I would find that very disrespectful.

I also wouldn't like the fact that they might be going back to his place either.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 30/12/2014 21:47

Lots of roads around Victoria will be closed from 2pmtomorroq due to NYE celebrations. Can you use that as an excuse to put her off?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:47

auntiestella. im not sure when double cab fare start. also no way can afford a black cab from london to my house... sod that i just looked it up 40 pounds from victoria to my area. she does not have that money for fares. she will then tell me she will get a bus. as they travel free on london buses.

i dont want her seeing him but i also know i cant stop it. thats why im saying to do it another day so i can at least feel a bit safer.

OP posts:
MyballsareSandy · 30/12/2014 21:48

Prob because tom is NY eve and Victoria is very near the fireworks etc, it will be hellish .... apart from the fact he's a druggie.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:50

theythinkimcool thank you thats partly my point... notanothernewnappy.. thats what im trying to explain to her NYE is different to other days up london. but she just not getting it. she sort of yeah so what and?...

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/12/2014 21:50

Why aren't you just talking to her about why it's not a good idea to be associating with drug users?

pumpkinsweetie · 30/12/2014 21:51

I would allow her to go, if you don't let teens have some free reign, they will rebel and go behind your back and go somewhere without your knowledge.

RiverTam · 30/12/2014 21:54

well, not necessarily Hmm.

London on NYE is grim, and I'm a Londoner.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:55

i am 'ilovesooty' but shes also a teenager who knows everything and mum is always wrong... like pumpkin says if i dont let her have some free reign she might start going behinde my back so thinking to meet half way. ie go another day. and im hoping she will realise hes not good friendship matiral rather soon :/

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 30/12/2014 21:55

Ask what good points he has as a mate. All his redeeming qualities. What's so special about Victoria,
Why can they not meet
Elsewhere?

Is it just coz he puffs that you don't like him? Not all smokers are bad
People.

What's the relevence of the lights are on. I know a few people like this, they don't touch drugs. One does it when he cannot be bothered with people, less confrontational.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:58

thats my point 'rivertam' it all comes down to the girls safety

OP posts:
Vivacia · 30/12/2014 21:58

Make all three of them welcome at your house. Get pizzas in and some, er, alchopops.

Keep your friends close, and all that.

DoubleValiumLattePlease · 30/12/2014 21:59

Do the Police still patrol with drug detector dogs on these big events? I know they do where I live and I bet they do in London - especially at the bigger stations. Does she really want to run the risk of being involved in a stop and search for drugs?

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2014 21:59

I thought travel was only free between 11.45pm and 4.30am?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 21:59

the light are not on because of the puffing. its not like he has the odd joint to chill out.

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 30/12/2014 22:00

There might be more to him than you can see. I had a friend like that in my teens. Used to puff in my mums house and I'm sure came across as though his brains were fried. But he did make sure we were both safe when we went out, and he had lots of personality, but I get why my mum couldn't see that. Alternatively, your dd's friend could be a complete loser too ;-)