to tell you how utterly weird and rubbish my Christmas is so far...

[shovetheholly]

I haven't been well lately, got out of hospital last week. Still bleeding and in a bit of pain from an operation, and having to wear big old maternity pads.

In spite of this, PIL have been piling on the pressure about us visiting them this year. They live hundreds of miles away and it's a long journey in the car. They have been asking all the time when we will arrive to stay for a few days. We have found this quite stressful as the illness makes it hard to plan. I assumed that they simply weren't aware how hard the journey would be for me. I can't stand for very long or walk far, and even though you'd think a car journey is just sitting down, going over potholes or round corners hurts.

DH was very keen to get her as he believes PIL and especially MIL are having a tough time, due to a bereavement in January. I felt under pressure and probably shouldn't have said yes to the journey (my bad). However we decided to give it a go. Took over five hours and I was in agony by the end. I had to be helped out of the car and into the house.

When we arrived, MIL presented me with an early 'present' - a mattress protector for someone who is incontinent to stop me 'ruining' her old mattress! (I am not incontinent!! I am bleeding a bit but it is under control). I can't sleep because every time I turn on the bed it sounds like a giant plastic thunderstorm. Also an old T-shirt of hers, about 10 years old and five sizes too big to lounge around the house in (I have PJs of my own).

Today, the whole family have gone out leaving me in the house by myself. They are having pizza and beer in a fancy restaurant. There is no food for me here, just a couple of stale rolls that I bought at a service station yesterday. It is also freezing as they have turned the heating off as it's just me here. I am actually in bed to keep warm.

A friend of mine rang me and I burst into tears on her because I feel so lonely and unable to cope. I have been trying to read but because I feel so ill, I can't really follow the book and it is just making me feel more hopeless.

Tomorrow will probably be much the same - me, by myself in the house while everyone else goes to the pub in the morning and then for a walk.

I know I need to buck my ideas up - I am not a child, and Christmas is just another day. I just feel a bit teary and rubbish.

Oh shove I wasn't expecting to come back and read this! Honestly thought your H would have realised and bucked his ideas up today. I'm sat here shaking my head at how cruel he and his delightful family have been, I'm honestly heartbroken for you

Has he actually said why he dragged you all that way? You'd have been better off home alone - or does it seem less 'bad' in his eyes if you're just dumped at PILs house (I can imagine how he wouldn't want to be viewed by friends/family as a horrible H who left his ill wife at home alone whilst he swanned off for Christmas), because I'm struggling to see the difference, either way you weren't getting the care and attention you need.

Are you going home tomorrow? You NEED to be at least at home with your own comforts. Like other pp have said if he won't take you then could you ask a friend to pick you up?

What an awful situation for you to deal with and can totally appreciate that you're not up to confrontation now, but seriously I'd struggle to forgive and move on from such selfishness and thoughtlessness from your H, it's easier to trample over someone and think some cheap apology afterwards will make it all better/assuage any guilt.

Please put yourself first (imagine the advice you'd give to a friend if they were in your shoes) take care and what's left of it Merry Christmas and I hope you get better soon x x

(Oh and if you show this thread to your H again:'You sir should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, you don't deserve a wife as thoughtful and selfless as yours!)

Sorry to read this. I hurt my back last year and could not take long car journeys for ages. I can't believe your family thought this was OK. It really was good of you to make this journey for the sake of your dh and family but if they were decent people they never would have asked you to come until you are feeling well. And to leave you alone both days without food and things you might need is just disgusting behaviour. I am shocked by how thoughtless and unkind they were. Hope you are soon home with lots of lovely food and presents (even if you have to order them yourself online).

Oh you poor love how utterly awful! I've given better care to strangers I've seen looking sad in the street, and I'm no one special, it's just the humane thing to do, so it's unbelievable that he can do that to someone he is meant to love and cherish!! If I were close enough Id also come rescue you and take you somewhere you'd be properly looked after, and give him a good kicking for his selfish behaviour whilst I was there! I wish you a peaceful and healing nights sleep xx

Don't "go home with DH and enjoy it". Go home with DH and give him hell. What a selfish, childish twat.

I've just RTFT, I can't believe how these people are treating you! I really hope you get home tomorrow, get the heating on and your H cooks you a lovely slap up meal.

Blimey, your husband is a shit of the highest order.

Leave the bastard.

I think the reason he's given for making you travel is an excuse. I think he thought it would be boring for him at home with you because you're ill and it would be quiet. So the only way he could get to have raucous family fun was to get you to travel there.

I really have no sympathy for your MIL. She is a grown woman with adult children, and really does not need pampering and given "the perfect Christmas" because she lost a parent 11 months ago. What a princess.

I cant believe your husband panders to this, and treat you like a worthless rag.

So sorry you had similar treatment again today. I'm absolutely disgusted in your husband's behaviour. No one would leave someone who is in pain, exhausted and vulnerable to be by themselves let alone on Christmas Day, cold and hungry. Plus he's supposed to love you! That is not the way you behave towards those you love.

Nothing you've been feeling has been unreasonable at all. They've behaved appallingly. Selfish twats.

If I could, I'd come and get you, feed you mince pies and posh chocs and wrap you in so many blankets you'd just be two eyes peeping out.

(To the poster questioning how ill the OP is.... An operation to that area of your body knocks you sick. Any bump or jolt is very painful. Lying at certain angles is painful. Coughing, peeing and going to the toilet is excruciating. God help you if you sneeze...Presumably the OP was still on very strong post OP painkillers when she was guilt tripped into making the journey and thought it wouldn't be so bad. Plus it can take days to recover just from the GA and healing after an operation causes exhaustion. If you can't imagine how shit it'd feel to sit in a pub for hours after all that then you are very lucky.)

OP, please show your pathetic excuse for a husband this thread again so he can see everyone say what a selfish, cuntish, worthless sack of shit he is.

And then LTB.

Just out of interest, did you know that pil were planning on eating out so much over Christmas? Still unforgivable if so, I was just wondering what exactly had been agreed to before you travelled up?

How are you feeling today op?

I am disgusted and appalled that your 'd' h went out again yesterday. Anybday would be bad enough but being Christmas Day does make it worse.

I am struggling to understand how anyone can treat another human like this, let alone their dw.

Look after yourself, then when you are better give him hell, he deserves it.

To the 'd'h if you are reading this you should be ashamed of yourself, treating your dw like this. Would you stand back and let anyone else treat her like this? How would you like it if the roles where reversed?

I hope today is better for you op

If they didn't have any food in the house on xmas evening then they were obviously planning on going out xmas day. Someone will have to go to the supermarket today,if not then I bet they are planning on going out.

Tbh I, a bit mystified by the no food in the house on xmas eve.

Some people are so thick it's unbelievable.

I just feel so much for you, what an awful to find out how unimportant you are to your dh compared to his mother

It's not rocket science that you shouldn't have been left at all but to then repeat it on Christmas Day itself after you had told him - that really is pretty unforgivable.

I normally think people are over the top when they say "LTB" but this time I think I would be a good idea. Your husband is obviously an extremely selfish person. I also suspect that his reason for going there because your in laws are having a "tough time due to bereavement" in January was just an excuse to do what he wanted to do this Christmas (i.e. spend the whole time in the pub whether you could go or not).

I just read this thread and feel so angry for you OP. Most decent people wouldn't leave a DOG home alone or expect it to travel when recovering after an operation, let alone their wife. This is absolutely horrifying. Your DH should be thouroughly ashamed of himself. I would be devastated in your situation. Would it be possible to split your return journey and stay in a hotel overnight halfway so it isn't such a long journey back?

Can't say anything that hasn't been said already. You poor thing, how utterly mean of them all.

Getting concerned that we haven't heard from OP since Christmas tea time...

Absolutely shocking behaviour from your DH. Is he always so selfish?

I hope you're on your way home today shove x

OP Please reassure us. or as you prefer!

Hope you're ok, op.