to tell you how utterly weird and rubbish my Christmas is so far...

[shovetheholly]

I haven't been well lately, got out of hospital last week. Still bleeding and in a bit of pain from an operation, and having to wear big old maternity pads.

In spite of this, PIL have been piling on the pressure about us visiting them this year. They live hundreds of miles away and it's a long journey in the car. They have been asking all the time when we will arrive to stay for a few days. We have found this quite stressful as the illness makes it hard to plan. I assumed that they simply weren't aware how hard the journey would be for me. I can't stand for very long or walk far, and even though you'd think a car journey is just sitting down, going over potholes or round corners hurts.

DH was very keen to get her as he believes PIL and especially MIL are having a tough time, due to a bereavement in January. I felt under pressure and probably shouldn't have said yes to the journey (my bad). However we decided to give it a go. Took over five hours and I was in agony by the end. I had to be helped out of the car and into the house.

When we arrived, MIL presented me with an early 'present' - a mattress protector for someone who is incontinent to stop me 'ruining' her old mattress! (I am not incontinent!! I am bleeding a bit but it is under control). I can't sleep because every time I turn on the bed it sounds like a giant plastic thunderstorm. Also an old T-shirt of hers, about 10 years old and five sizes too big to lounge around the house in (I have PJs of my own).

Today, the whole family have gone out leaving me in the house by myself. They are having pizza and beer in a fancy restaurant. There is no food for me here, just a couple of stale rolls that I bought at a service station yesterday. It is also freezing as they have turned the heating off as it's just me here. I am actually in bed to keep warm.

A friend of mine rang me and I burst into tears on her because I feel so lonely and unable to cope. I have been trying to read but because I feel so ill, I can't really follow the book and it is just making me feel more hopeless.

Tomorrow will probably be much the same - me, by myself in the house while everyone else goes to the pub in the morning and then for a walk.

I know I need to buck my ideas up - I am not a child, and Christmas is just another day. I just feel a bit teary and rubbish.

Aw no. Awful behaviour on their part!

Wtf was your husband thinking, going out and leaving you there?? So sorry you are in this situation, as others have said, sort out the heating and some take away. Unbelievable thoughtlessness on their part, I would be raging.

You should firstly go and put the heating back on and secondly order a very expensive takeaway to be delivered using your thoughtless husband's credit card. I understand them wanting to enjoy the festivities but they are not considering you at all. Your husband is a disgrace.

I'd be livid if any son of mine left his DW to go out and enjoy the festivities when she was poorly. My DIL is at ours for a few days and is heavily pregnant. DH and DS's have been told no pub tomorrow! They can amuse themselves with making sure DIL has her every whim catered for.

Your MIL needs a foot up the arse as does your DH. I'm disgusted they've all gone out and left you when your poorly, let alone without heating or snacks to hand.

I agree with others call him and tell him to get home. I hope you feel better soon OP

Fabulous I want you as my MIL!

Me too!

This is utterly appalling behaviour - esp your DH. Turn the fucking heating on full, ring for a takeaway and stuff the lot of them.

And when you are well - LTB. Sorry to say, you are married to a first class cunt

Good practical advise on here. Does H always put pil before you.

Who the hell treats a guest like that? If anyone in my family did that to someone (whether we got on or not) I'd tear strips off them.

What thoughtless, insensitive behaviour. Is there any way you can show your DH this thread? There's not one person on here who has or who will think how you have been treated today, is anything but utterly rotten. Feel very on your behalf.

Buck your ideas up?!
Buck your ideas up?
YABU for thinking that.
You need to buck nothing up. Your husband's responsibility is to you, you are his wife and you are recovering from an OP. You need to get him back there and make you comfortable and keep you company. I just read this to my DH and he is aghast at this as I am - good luck OP, hope that you can make him see sense when he gets back.

You poor thing!!!

I agree with everyone else. Heating on, take away, and vow never to put yourself out for them or your husband again!

Think DH at fault here - perhaps time for a serious chat ?

Blimey.. go raid the drinks cabinet, if you can after the operation.
And yesyes go turn the heating on and take of that horrible cover. How horrid they are to treat you like this. YANBU for feeling sad an rubbish but it is not your fault. Honestly, what are they thinking, apart from solely about themselves?

It's christmas. There must be food in the house!

As soon as you are well, in the New Year, book yourself into a spa for the week end! On DH credit card!
Until then do what the others have advised, heat, food and drink!

If my dh ever thought of doing that he'd be on the business end of a hissy fit that's make his ears bleed! Call him now and say you are freezing and hungry can he come home now and bring you done thing to eat...what a bawbag!

how mean.
text your DH and ask him how to put the heating on and where the fucking food is?

Oh Ffs not the bloody spa advice again. I think there's something rather more fundamental going on here that goes well beyond being fixed by a spa weekend.

Wow, your DH sounds quite a catch, no wait-I was thinking of another word beginning with c...cunt

Text him & tell him this, also mention he needs to bring you food, as in NOW.

Good grief, you poor thing, you should be getting waited on hand and foot - what a bunch of cretins!

What brand of boiler is it? Can we help you practically? If you can manage it and get a photo of the panel maybe one of us on here can advise you on how to switch it on.

...although personally the way they've treat you I'd be inclined to drag some furniture out into the garden, with some matches and start my own bonfire - mmm toasty revenge!

Would a kick up the bum sort DH out? The other option I'm thinking of is do you have anyone else you could go stay with?

Thinking of you

Oh no! How nasty of them. Tell dh when he gets back what an utter bastard he has been.

I hope they bring you some decent food home

It doesn't matter if its Christmas tomorrow.

There is no day in the year where it would be anything other than completely cuntish to leave your ill wife in a random house alone while you go off gallivanting and partying with your friends.

I would seriously be reconsidering my relationship once I got home again after something like this.

WTF is wrong with your dh?! How on earth has he left you all on your own for xmas eve - and he's thinking of doing the same on xmas day? Not to mention no heating and not even a nice meal set up for you. Awful. Tell him how upset you are (if he could possibly be so thick as to not have realised). Or show him this thread. I hope you don't have a repeat performance tomorrow, how on earth could they ALL be so thoughtless - not one person of the group has said 'hang on, what about Shovetheholly?'! xx