to tell you how utterly weird and rubbish my Christmas is so far...

[shovetheholly]

I haven't been well lately, got out of hospital last week. Still bleeding and in a bit of pain from an operation, and having to wear big old maternity pads.

In spite of this, PIL have been piling on the pressure about us visiting them this year. They live hundreds of miles away and it's a long journey in the car. They have been asking all the time when we will arrive to stay for a few days. We have found this quite stressful as the illness makes it hard to plan. I assumed that they simply weren't aware how hard the journey would be for me. I can't stand for very long or walk far, and even though you'd think a car journey is just sitting down, going over potholes or round corners hurts.

DH was very keen to get her as he believes PIL and especially MIL are having a tough time, due to a bereavement in January. I felt under pressure and probably shouldn't have said yes to the journey (my bad). However we decided to give it a go. Took over five hours and I was in agony by the end. I had to be helped out of the car and into the house.

When we arrived, MIL presented me with an early 'present' - a mattress protector for someone who is incontinent to stop me 'ruining' her old mattress! (I am not incontinent!! I am bleeding a bit but it is under control). I can't sleep because every time I turn on the bed it sounds like a giant plastic thunderstorm. Also an old T-shirt of hers, about 10 years old and five sizes too big to lounge around the house in (I have PJs of my own).

Today, the whole family have gone out leaving me in the house by myself. They are having pizza and beer in a fancy restaurant. There is no food for me here, just a couple of stale rolls that I bought at a service station yesterday. It is also freezing as they have turned the heating off as it's just me here. I am actually in bed to keep warm.

A friend of mine rang me and I burst into tears on her because I feel so lonely and unable to cope. I have been trying to read but because I feel so ill, I can't really follow the book and it is just making me feel more hopeless.

Tomorrow will probably be much the same - me, by myself in the house while everyone else goes to the pub in the morning and then for a walk.

I know I need to buck my ideas up - I am not a child, and Christmas is just another day. I just feel a bit teary and rubbish.

Can you calm him? Tell him to order you a pizza and beer and that he needs to come home and turn the heating on?

I'd be tempted to sleep in pils bed and ensure the pad is not correctly located. Obviously have a large glass of their best brandy first .

Utter fuckwits all of them. Your dh needs a serious kicking.

These selfish people who think Christmas must go on regardless. It's infuriating. I agree you should be at home in a warm bed being looked after and not abandoned.

No food in the house at all? On Christmas Eve?

This is fucking awful and I'd start with your Husband when he rolls in from the 'family' night out.

Stay calm for the children of course but I'd be fucking livid yhat he'd swanned off.

Absolutely awful behaviour from them. When your dh returns I'd tell him how upset you are and you want to go home.

(In response to some other comments not everyone has food in the house for christmas, my bil and sil purposefully empty their fridge etc every year as they are out so much they never eat at home - have christmas dinner out etc)..

Has op been back recently?
Hopefully she is having a lovely sleep.

What minklundy said. I sincerely hope they're back...what comfort they'll be though selfish so and so's

Hope you're ok op? Please let us know how you're getting on. Big hugs, stay warm and phone your husband to get himself back at once with food for his ill wife.

thank you all so much for your lovely messages. They have honestly helped me to get through today and I don't think I would have managed without the support.

A friend of mine rang me randomly, and I ended up sobbing down the phone. She was lovely, if a bit taken aback. Then I went to sleep and I when I woke up the heating was coming on (thanks to the timer). They came back shortly after.

Will raise these issues but when I feel I can deal with them a bit better. Right now I am unable to deal with anything!

Thank you all so, so much.

I hope they are truly apologetic though Holly and if you forgive them , you're a much better and nicer person than me

Aww shove glad to hear back from you, hope you get something filling and warm to eat x

(Extra fuming now on your behalf that the timer came back on just before THEY got home, yes we wouldn't want the selfish lot to be cold)

I'm glad you have heating now. I hope they are sorry and are plying you with food.

I would be soo angry in your position. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

Happy Christmas

This sounds positively Dickensian! I expect you'll be given gruel for breakfast and a kick in the arse for dinner.

WTF?! Some peoples selfishness never fails to shock me. I'm disgusted on your behalf. I hope you're not feeling too awful now and are more comfortable.

Take the grim plastic sheet off then piss all over the bed.

Agree with PP who said Home on Boxing Day. No arguments. And never again. The only excuse for your DH's behaviour is that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Op try and sleep well tonight. You eed to have a big think about things after chrismas. I cannot believe how you are being treated. Its awful

I would be tempted to print off this thread and let (not very) 'd' h read it at his leisure !!

What selfish buggers. Beg you to visit knowing you're poorly then all fuck off out and leave you alone. I think they need to hear a few harsh words. Who does that?

Tell them to fuck off next Christmas!!

I am shocked at your ILs being so inhospitable and thoughtless but even more so at your DH. I think you need to tell him that this is really not ok as soon as they get back and make him put things right

This is one of those threads which is really upsetting. What a way to treat anybody, let alone family, above all spouse, on Christmas Eve.

Please OP get away from them. Who knows whether they won't do it again on Saturday if you stay there?

And that's assuming you figure in their plans for tomorrow!

and all the best to you.

OP, you poor sweetheart, try and get warm and have a drink. Some people really don't think, do they.

Show DP this thread and go home on Boxing Day.

Your DH sounds like a prick. He should be minding you.

I hope you feel better soon.

Write the address to this link on their christmas cards!

Their behaviour is apalling beyond belief

Cant believe they went out and left you on your own. that is very rude and selfish. Youve travelled all that way in agony to your in laws and then they all leave you on your own!! is shocking!!