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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas party storm out

181 replies

weelittlething · 23/12/2014 07:35

We were having a Christmas party at ours for a group of close friends who we've known for ages. They were all staying over. Towards the end of the night some of us got in our PJs and we were chatting over a nightcap. We started poking fun at one of our best friends (this isn't unusual for said friend) and everyone was laughing and joking. All of a sudden friend stands up, really angry, and says "I'm going for a walk." We apologise for any offence but friend doesn't listen. Friend then stomps upstairs (very noisily), nearly waking up our sleeping baby on the way, grabs coat and walks out of the house.

This is past midnight in a dodgy area. DH runs after friend but friend is already out of sight.

So we sit around for an hour wondering what set friend off. We call friend's phone but it's turned off. It's late and we need to go to bed as baby is an early riser but we can't till friend gets back. Friend finally returns when DH goes out in PJs for second time, storms upstairs and doesn't want to speak about it to anyone.

Is it just me who would get really pissed off at this? I just thought it was, at best, immature (though I guess poking fun at a mate isn't particularly grown up) and overdramatic, and at best rude and inconsiderate towards one's hosts.

It's a bloody joke, for god's sake!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 23/12/2014 08:52

Yep it's bullying whether this is a reverse or not.

Time for a group of friends to be ditched tbh . Hmm

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/12/2014 08:55

You and your friends have deliberately picked on one person and they've had enough of being the doormat.

I try not to be a bitch to people on threads but you sound like someone I'd stay away from and your 'mate' should re-evaluate who are her true friends, you're not one of them clearly.

ilovesooty · 23/12/2014 08:55

I've rarely seen an OP as nasty as this one. As others have said, you all sound like bullies. And this person snapped and ran out in a dodgy area and you sat around for an hour not doing anything?

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 23/12/2014 08:56

Poor friend. How awful to always be the butt of the "joke" and now to be the cause of annoyance for failing to play up to their "part" as the clown of the piece at a party with supposed friends.

YABU.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 23/12/2014 08:57

Have you seen that film, Dinner for Schmucks? sounds like your party, tbh.

MyFirstName · 23/12/2014 08:57

Your poor, poor friend.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/12/2014 08:58

Is it just me who would get really pissed off at this? I just thought it was, at best, immature (though I guess poking fun at a mate isn't particularly grown up) and overdramatic, and at best rude and inconsiderate towards one's hosts

If not a reverse, you are completely oblivious to the feelings of others and self obsessed to boot based on that paragraph ^

ChaircatMiaow · 23/12/2014 08:58

What's the bet that the OP doesn't come back to thread?

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 23/12/2014 08:59

"and at best rude and inconsiderate towards one's hosts"

Well one could argue that it's pretty fucking rude to one's guests to take the piss out of them, so it's hard to see which of you was ruder, really. I'm betting you and the other "jokers" though.

FunkyBoldRibena · 23/12/2014 09:00

Come on OP - spill.

Are you the victim or the bully?

stillwearingaredribbon · 23/12/2014 09:00

How annoying when a person doesn't accept their role in the group
Did this person not realise their role was to be the butt of everyone's jokes

ilovesooty · 23/12/2014 09:00

I bet the OP finds some excuse to contact HQ and have the thread deleted.

RinkyTinkTen · 23/12/2014 09:02

I'm sorry but YABU, I was in your friends position once and one day the 'joke' just went too far.

I was out with 2 'friends' having what I thought was a nice time when I got up to go & buy a round of drinks. When I got back, my handbag was missing. When I asked where it was they both denied its existence so I started to get upset. Not only had it got my purse in it (I'd taken cash out of it for drinks) but it had my camera and some important information for a special trip I was taking the next day.

I started to get really distressed until they eventually gave it back. At this point I started crying and left. We had a massive row, them saying how I couldn't 'take a joke' and me saying that a joke should be funny to all parties. I then left extremely upset and the friendship was left in ruins.

I'd like to point out that I can take a good ribbing with the best of them, but this simply wasn't funny. Maybe your friend had just had enough. You should apologise before you damage the relationship beyond repair.

ChaircatMiaow · 23/12/2014 09:03

Sooty I suspect she can give it but can't take it, like most bullies.

Idontseeanysontarans · 23/12/2014 09:03

I have a friend who did this to me for a while. The difference between her and you is that when I finally snapped she was gracious enough to realise that she went too far and apologised fully.
She's one of my closest friends and it hasn't damaged a 20+ year friendship. You need to suck it up - if the baby had woken up then it would have been down to you for not shutting up and realising you were obviously really upsetting a friend.
YABU.

HopeAndChristmasStories · 23/12/2014 09:03

YABVU. And a bully.

Mammanat222 · 23/12/2014 09:05

No update from OP???

Hmmm....

Well in any event I agree she is being very unreasonable (and selfish and rude and yes if this happens often it is probably tantamount to bullying)

Also love how she manages to make it about her baby. If she was so concerned about said baby surely she wouldn't be having friends round for a boozy night and sleep over??

InternetFOREVER · 23/12/2014 09:07

Not a reverse from the look of it, so hopefully OP will realise that she and her friends did go too far and apologise to her "friend"! Sometimes when you're used to a group dynamic you can really not realise how awful you're being until its pointed out by someone on the outside.

DurhamDurham · 23/12/2014 09:07

Poor misunderstood op, it was just a joke,a bit of banter........not so much for the poor friend on the receiving end of it yet again.

And how do you almost wake a sleeping baby, the baby either wakes up or doesn't?

So where have you gone op? The overwhelming decision is that you owe your friend a whopping apology. And if it is a reverse thread you really need to come back and put us out of our misery.

clam · 23/12/2014 09:09

How do you "nearly" wake up a baby?

Original poster
weelittlething · 23/12/2014 09:10

Whoa! Was surprised to see so many replies. Probably doesn't make a difference, but this friend was male.

Also the joke wasn't at his expense, it was a general "what would you do in this situation" joke that he seemed to take offence to. We then said: "What? Even if the situation is blahblahblah" and he kept insisting that he would never do it. So we kept asking him about different scenarios and I suppose he got upset that we were only asking him and not anyone else.

FWIW we did apologise, but he refused to listen to it and stormed out. I personally would never do that but I suppose it's just me.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/12/2014 09:12

We started poking fun at one of our best friends, sounds like the joke was at his expense.

KatieKaye · 23/12/2014 09:13

Is it just me who would get really pissed off at this?
Yes, it is just you.

I just thought it was, at best, immature
That's a charitable way of describing your behaviour.

(though I guess poking fun at a mate isn't particularly grown up)
Ah, the penny finally drops! It is immature and cruel. And pig-ignorant

and overdramatic
Unlike posting on MN in a vain attempt to garner sympathy and support.

and at best rude and inconsiderate towards one's hosts
You are possibly the crappest host in the country. Your behaviour goes beyond rude. You have no consideration or empathy and I sincerely hope you develop some basic manners before your child is old enough to follow your bad example.

VitalStollenFix · 23/12/2014 09:14

If it wasn't at his expense, then why did you say it was in your OP? And say that this is something you often do?

"We started poking fun at one of our best friends (this isn't unusual for said friend)"

DurhamDurham · 23/12/2014 09:14

You said that you started poking fun at one of your best friends and that this wasn't unusual. Maybe he'd just had enough of being at the butt end of your 'fun'. It's mob mentality, you're all sat their laughing at one person and it seems ok because you are all doing it so he is seen as the awkward one for storming off. Poor man,