Wedding invitation to dh and not me

[Girl33]

Received separate invites to a friend's wedding in the post. DH is invited to the ceremony and wedding breakfast and I am only invited to the evening do. Aibu to think this is really really rude?? DH is shocked and says he's not going without me.

Never mind all the possibles and hypotheticals

You are the wife of his business partner (so not some distant 3rd cousin's wife)
You socialise together as two couples (so presumably all consider each other friends regardless of who knew who first)

Therefore it is a rude thing for them to do.

Hmmm I don't think socialising together automatically equates friendship when it is in groups or couples.

I was out with friends and their partners last week and some of them are just dreadful people! Certainly not my friends.

FFS weddings are not about 'couples' other than the couple actually getting married. Plenty of people who attend weddings are single.

I don't see the relevance to a person's ability or inability to function socially without their DP. The "joined at the hip" type comments.

Weddings have a certain quality about them that makes it more enjoyable to share the occasion with a DP. It isn't just 'any old'party or function - it's all geared towards romance, hope for the future and Dreams come true.

My 'world view' on this was changed 3 years ago when I had to attend a wedding on my own, first time ever. DP and I were both invited, but because we were still having to live apart LDR 100 miles apart at that time, it wasn't easy to organise. So, I thought I would feel fine going on my own but was totally unprepared for how awful it felt being at a wedding by myself, no DP to enjoy the event with me, not knowing anyone apart from the B&G and watching all the other couples and families enjoying themselves. I felt like I was on the outside looking in, in fact I couldn't shake off the sadness and I sneaked away early because I didn't want to attract attention.

Any other type of event would have been totally different, weddings are special. Had I known, I would have politely declined the invitation and just sent a present and card.

So now, when I read about how B&Gs (unknowingly or otherwise) arbitrarily exclude and fragment a couple for the sake of a few quid, I think... If they only knew, maybe they would think twice.

thepointyandtheivy your story was lovely!

But it isn't always for the sake of a few quid. Sometimes there literally isn't any way to include everyone because of space, and there aren't oodles of venues with bigger capacity. Sometimes it's because actually you just want people you know at your wedding. and sometimes its because you just don't like someone. I'm sure there are tonnes of other reasons too!

A wedding having some sort of magic is all in your perception. The reality (and I know it's not a popular opinion!) Is that once the ceremony is over, it's a party.

A wedding having some sort of magic is all in your perception. The reality (and I know it's not a popular opinion!) Is that once the ceremony is over, it's a party

What a 'lovely' way of devaluing a life-changing event

life changing? really?

funny. i dont remember my life changing. It was 30 minutes in a dress, and then a knees-up!

Life-changing?

The only thing that changed was my surname, i came home to the same house, the same job, the same man, the same stuff.

I don't think my wedding will be life changing, after 17 years and five kids life will continue much as before! I wont be changing my name. For us it's making it official and having a lovely day with the madthings and friends and family. We were limited on numbers, not because of finances but because the rregistry office has a certain size room and they count people going in, they simply won't allow more than a certain number and children count as a full person, oddly enough we won't be having a child free wedding! Some of my friends are coming without husbands, I spoke to them beforehand and explained and they were fine with it. I did say they could being them to the meal afterwards and they said no, they a're looking forward to a lovely day without them and understood it would be pointless their husband's being there when I don't really know them and nor does dp.

Not that I felt it was particularly life changing, having been together 8 years when we got married, but that would be the ceremony.

Everything that happens afterwards is a party whereby people tend to eat, drink and generally be merry.

And having worked as a wedding planner in my past life I can assure you that there generally isn't much magical about a wedding other than seeing the bride and groom so happy. There's very little difference between one wedding and the next really. Furthermore, there's very little difference between a wedding post-ceremony and most other types of social gathering.