..to think that if you've written the Christmas card you don't need to sign it from your DH/P first?

[GoTellItToTheMavis]

I've noticed this over the last few years - women who I know have written all the family/friends Christmas cards and yet who sign it from Bob, Jane, little Bob, Little Jane.

Why not put yourself first? You wrote the thing. Surely men don't need precedence in card signing? Or perhaps everyone I know writes in age order and it's simply a coincidence that all the DH/Ps are older

It's to do with the way they're said isn't it

After 'mum' your words naturally flow to and . Shape of mouth. Not the same with dad and mum

My family my name goes first his family his name goes first, although did alot in a hurry so no idea what i put on some! Tbh i havent look at cards received as franky its something i didnt think that mattered

I don't actually get the explanation that if you didn't do DH's cards for him, nobody would get any, so therefore you have to.
Was he sending cards when he was single? If yes, he did not suddenly lose the ability when you got married. If he didn't, his relatives are used to not getting card, so why would they expect this to change? Because wives are supposed to take care of that kind of stuff?

I have never given it the slightest thought- some I put mine first, some DHs- for no reason other than variety. The cards that come are a mix with no reason either.

I try to follow a 'my family, me first', 'his family, him first' (or varied depending on how they would know us) but as I am usually in a rush I often forget. Most cards we receive seem to have me listed first xx

Argh! Please ignore the kisses - answering a question from DH at the same time as posting! (Proving original point!)

Just you disappointed the kisses werent for mumnetters xxx

Whether this is reasonable or not, I always feel vaguely insulted when I get a pre-printed card where the signature is printed, too. If we know each other well enough for a card, we know each other well enough for you to sign the sodding thing.

So nobody can explain why the male is "Head of the household"? Nobody??!

Why do people write cards for their partners' friends? I'd find it very weird to receive a card from a friend which was actually written by someone else.

Yes that's true about the way words are said. DH's name works better before 'and' than mine does.

Me first to people I am closest too. His first to people he is closest too. Me first to mutual friends as I am writing them. Kids in age order.

Mind you, this is all purely hypothetical for me. I don't write cards in my house. The most I am allowed to do is sign my name, because I have the worst handwriting of all of us. Even 5yo DS2 has more legible handwriting than me.

Head of the family?! OMG is it 1950?

I have never thought about this, but if I write a card it will put my name first and dh probably does the same.

I have just looked at all the Christmas cards we've received. So far, it's the woman's name first on every one.

Thanks londonrach - you can keep them if you like them. Just know how big a faux pas it is - especially on AIBU

If its to DPs relatives or friends that we know through him then I put his name first.

If its to my family or friends that he knows through me then I put my name first. I think that's completely fair

Ohmychrist I write all out Christmas cards out because I enjoy doing so and because I have time to - DP doesn't!

I am astounded that people put any thought into it! It had never occurred to me that it depended on whose family etc

I always put DH's name first simply because I believe its polite to put the other person first. If I were in a same sex relationship I would do the same.
I write all our cards because DH's handwriting is so bad that no one could read what he had written.

If DH doesn't want to write cards to his family and friends, that's his business.

I write the ones to my family and friends, and this year I did all of our joint friends. My name first, obviously.

If DS doesn't want to write me a card when he's an adult, I think I'd honestly prefer not to get one written by his partner...

isn't the idea of sending cards to let the recipient know that the sender is thinking of them or something? In one post, it was mentioned that the relatives of DH the wife sends cards to, would not even know who she is - so the message is that not the DH, but someone they don't know thinks about them this Christmas time. Not quite the same, is it?

Well, I have been educated by this thread, it had never occurred to me that people were putting their DH's name first out of politeness, I had thought it was a nod to them being the head of the household and puzzled over my otherwise feminist friends doing it. I have never noticed a card in the man's handwriting putting his female's partner's name first though. Hmm.

I can't believe you even give a toss whose name goes first. Does it matter?

I write whoevers name comes first into my head at the time of me writing it.

It's only a Christmas card anyway, it's only going to end up in the bin.

I had a card from "Jane and John".

I went to university with John.

Only ever met Jane a handful of times.

I would rather he had written the card himself.

But if she is writing the card, I'm glad she put her name first.

People make such hard work of the simplest things! I agree MrsItsNow who gives a toss and who even notices?! (Apart from some people on MN) I alternate according to whim at the time. I have absolutely no idea which way around DH does it- and don't care!

Exactly Mehit they'll be the same people who go through the cards before slinging them in the bin and make a note whose sent them and who hasn't. Like it matters

My Dh doesn't even write cards. I cannot even begin to give a toss about this.