..to think that if you've written the Christmas card you don't need to sign it from your DH/P first?

[GoTellItToTheMavis]

I've noticed this over the last few years - women who I know have written all the family/friends Christmas cards and yet who sign it from Bob, Jane, little Bob, Little Jane.

Why not put yourself first? You wrote the thing. Surely men don't need precedence in card signing? Or perhaps everyone I know writes in age order and it's simply a coincidence that all the DH/Ps are older

I do all the card writing, and tend to put the either mine or dp's name first depending on who's relative or friend it originally was. As in for his family and friends I put his name first and vice versa.
For people we mutually met, it varies depending on my mood

Never really thought about this before

I write all ours.

If to DPs family, his name is first.

If my family, my name is first

If to DSs teachers or friends , DSs name first.

I always write adults first, then children. I always write my name last out of the adults, because my mother told me that if you write a card on behalf of somebody else you should write their name before yours.

I am now wondering if this was a device to prevent my sister and I bickering about who gets to write cards, but it is something I have just carried on doing. So, for example, if I was writing a card from the other adults at brownies I would put "from adult A, Adult B and Me".

With us, it all depends on what name DP is using. If using one name, it sounds better going in front of mine (alphabetical order), otherwise it comes after. As it happens the name he uses with his family (given name) is the one that goes first, and his other name, which all my family and friends know him as, goes after . Children in age order (also fortunately alphabetic [;)].

I make the effort, I put my name first. End of. DP scribbles on signs the pile I give to him.

Addressing wise I tend to put the person I know best/am related to first... that mostly tends to be the women. Never ever would address to 'Head of Household', it's such an outdated concept.

My DM on the other hand always addresses letters to women as 'Mrs [husband's first name, husband's surname]'. I have told her if she does that to me after we get married it's going in the bin. I am not DP's property.

Same as gymboywalton

Same here. We don't do "heads of households" either.

In fact, I rather expect DH to do his own family cards while I do mine. That way the job gets shared!

My name always goes first even to inlaws, it just doesn't flow right with DHs name first.

I sign cards to my family and friends from Wasting, Wasting's DH, and our DS. DH signs cards to his family and friends from Wasting's DH, Wasting, and our DS.

This is because we're in an equal partnership, and not in the 1950s .

I don't care which way it goes, who it's to or whatever. It's whatever I'm thinking at the time. HOWEVER, if it's official DH's name goes first because Mr. & Mrs. sound better than Mrs. & Mr. People getting up in arms about "daring to put the man first" are just odd to me. They're just names, no political agenda intended :S

If I'm writing the cards mine goes first. DH does his own for his family so I assume he puts his first.

If they're just names and there's no political agenda then why should the man's name automatically go first? Of course it's political.

I normally write the card, address the envelopes, sign my name first and leave him a stack and a pen so he can add his scrawl!

Never thought of it as being a man/head of house thing -I put my name first as I write the cards. I'm sure if ever DH decided to go on a card writing frenzy (never!) he'd put his name first.

Are people who say their DH is "head of the house" joking? DH sometimes jokes that he's in charge because he's bigger/older/male to win an argument he's losing and it's fun to wind me up but surely no one married since the 70s believes that! I know my parents never felt like that.

When I write cards I put me first, when DH writes his he puts his name first.

Which also fits in with the signed first by the person who knows you best thing.

I wouldn't write cards for his friends and family and I wouldn't expect him to do that for me (unless one of us had a broken hand or something ).

It does remind me of the person 1 census thing!

Interesting isn't it as card writing is often seen / done as "women's work" and is time consuming and frankly a PITA (so we don't do many) and the idea is that the woman does all the work and sits there putting her name second which is just shit when you think about it. Sort of like doing the man's admin work.

If it's to 'my' friends, I put me first. if to DHs friends, him first, joint friends him first just because it somehow sounds better in that order!

I vary it - even sometimes putting one of the kids names first (shock, horror!)

If it's DHs friends, his name goes in first. Mine if it's my friends.

Have a friend who does this - I've know her for 15 years, and barely know her DH as they live abroad, but she ALWAYS writes all birthday/Christmas cards and always signs his name first. Weird, IMO.

YY gatehouse I really must remember to mix up the kids poor DD2 always coming last!

If I'm writing the card my name goes first - 'head of the household' actually makes me laugh, ffs it's not the 1950's!!

If they're just names and there's no political agenda then why should the man's name automatically go first? Of course it's political.

This.

We don't have that many cards to send nowadays, but we sat at the table and shared them between us (well, only one of the DC was involved).

I don't understand the head of the household thing. How do you know who is the head? What is it based on?

We had a call once where they wanted to talk to the "head of the household" and asked for DH and when I asked why he was head of the household the reasons were actually me, but still they didn't want to talk to me they wanted the man so I told them to get stuffed

We were our own, so I would write me first an he does the opposite.

I don't really stress about it although some people marry us off (in both directions if they know me and have only met DP in passing).

Only one I thought was really odd this year was where I got full name and title on the envelope the (& DPFirstName) in brackets

We put me first on the census as there were a number of conventions that would have that as the outcome, whereas only one (possession of a penis) for DP, plus I started filling it out.

My next door neighbours have a proper" head of the household" called that and everything and he makes the decisions and they are open about that. But then they are evangelical christians...

Same as others, I put my name first to my family and friends, and DH's name first to his family and friends. Seems logical to me!

We are Christians and we don't have heads of anything. Unless you count Dh being Head of dishwasher loading

If I am writing Christmas cards and present labels (more of a when, not if, because DH doesn't do it!) I usually put my name first. Sometimes I put DH's first for a bit of variation. I don't think it really matters either way.