..to think that if you've written the Christmas card you don't need to sign it from your DH/P first?

[GoTellItToTheMavis]

I've noticed this over the last few years - women who I know have written all the family/friends Christmas cards and yet who sign it from Bob, Jane, little Bob, Little Jane.

Why not put yourself first? You wrote the thing. Surely men don't need precedence in card signing? Or perhaps everyone I know writes in age order and it's simply a coincidence that all the DH/Ps are older

When we do cards I'll generally write them all -- I put DH's name first in cards to his family/old family friends (so it gives them a clue in the "who are these people who are sending me cards?" stakes) but mine first in all the others.

I actually can't remember. Just posted the last of mine, and now want to fish them out of the post box and check
More generally though I tend to have couples' names in a fixed order in my head. Like the old ladybird books are Janet and John, not John and Janet.

His name goes first because 'mrblueberry and weeblueberry' just flows better than the other way round. He's got a single syllable name and mine is double. The order I write it in just flows better.

It's nothing to do with head of the household or anything like that.

I put whoever knew them first, or is closer to, etc.
Sometimes its dh other times its me.
I don't consider him head of the household, we are equal.

I sign DHs name first if its his friends and relations. And me first for mine. I think most men just CBA to write cards.

I just asked DH what he puts when he write cards and apparently he puts from "the Goth Family" which I think is even worse!

I write all our cards (because I enjoy writing them) and on my side of the family I put my name first, and on DP's side of the family I put his name first.

I was thinking this after getting a card from a friend from toddlers whose husband I only say hi to in passing yet his name was first.

I do have a system. I write all the cards, and if to DH's family/friends then his name goes first, and if to my family/friends then my name goes first. Dh wraps presents, so we do have a division of labour of sorts.

This year however I got very very annoyed with writing the cards and choosing the presents to a particular set of godchildren who always write the thankyou cards to DH only, despite the presents clearly being chosen and sent by me. So DH write the damned card, but I wrote the cheques, from my personal account. I also told DH that if this year as in all the others I do not get named in the thank you card, then next year he is on his own.

(There is a bit of a backstory to that, mind).

Both of us usually write my name, his name because it's alphabetical order. Now we have dd, technically she should go first but goes last as she's the child and that seems normal (we have discussed this and yes that does make us a bit sad I suppose).

Are people with 'head of households' being serious? Thought it was a joke.

LesserOfTwoWeevils Sat 20-Dec-14 19:47:21

If they're just names and there's no political agenda then why should the man's name automatically go first? Of course it's political.

To me it's simply not political. You're saying it's political because you don't agree with it, because you believe it's political for whatever reason, and because you think it's about the man being the head or whatever.

To me, it's not. It sounds better when writing "Mr. & Mrs." to put them that way. Sure it could be because that's how I grew up, but it's not the conscious "Oooo man must come first" nonsense that you're claiming it is.

They're just names. If I wrote it that way it's just because I wrote it that way... there doesn't have to be a sinister alternative.

*sinister agenda even.

Cards to DH's side of the family have his name first, my name first on cards to my side.

I write all the cards and I put my name first

No way on earth would I put his name first if I'm writing the card!!

I sign my name first, then dh's followed by dcs in age order & then the dogs in age order.

I wrote the thank you cards for our wedding presents with my name first without even thinking about it.

Three seperate people told me that in future DH's name should come first. I put the dogs name first on their Christmas cards

My name always goes first, whatever the context. Our names just sound wrong when DH's name goes first.

I put dhs name first if I write them, he puts mine first if he writes them, not really sure why!

I always sign my name first.

When addressing cards it goes by who I am closest to if there is an obvious difference (e.g school friend + husband I hardly know) or what sounds nicest.

I mostly address envelopes to The X family where suitable.

DH writes the cards to his lot and puts himself first; I write the cards to my lot and put my name first.

Cards to my family / friends - my name first

Cards to his - his name first

Mutual friends - him first because he's older

If I'm writing something, my name will go first. I don't care whether it's to my ILs or anyone else.

And yes it is political. No one is ever going to be seen as head of my house simply because they have a penis!

So shoot me

I write all the cards and my name goes first, it doesn't sound right the other way round, the only card he writes is to me. He wouldn't even have a clue who to send them to !

My name always goes first on the cards.

Coincidentally I am also older than DH. Hmm.

I obviously put my name first on the cards I write. DH always puts my name first on cards he writes because he thinks Catherine and Jack sounds better than Jack and Catherine