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Original poster

help with the practical positives and negatives of formula feeding

260 replies

KnackeredMerrily · 18/12/2014 11:57

I'm currently breastfeeding my week old but we are struggling with putting weight on and jaundice.

I've been here before with my first son, and the first months of his life with feeding him 20 times a day and expressing top up feeds. The idea of doing it again makes me want to curl up into a ball and weep.

But, I've never gone through the practicalities of formula feeding either. What is it like? How do you make feeds up in advance? Is it a fiddle travelling with bottles and keeping them warm and wondering how much they've had? Is one formula better than another?

I am well aware of the benefits of breastfeeding so I don't need to hear that slant. I'm just wondering what the day to day life is like when FF

OP posts:
LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 20:34

Um I did do it,most women do.

alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling · 19/12/2014 20:37

OK am confused
You EBF your babies but it means nothing to you nowConfused
Really ?

LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 20:39

Did it for 6 weeks,why would it mean anything?Confused

SquirrelledAway · 19/12/2014 20:41

I tried it too. My body obviously wasn't meant to do it. FF was the best for my DCs.

I didn't say that BF is nothing. But there are so many other things that have happened since the first few months that have proved to be much more important in my DCs' lives than whether they were BF or FF.

alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling · 19/12/2014 20:42

Why wouldn't it ?
Got it now though Wink

Amummyatlast · 19/12/2014 20:42

Alpaca, I bf my DD until she was 3 months old and I honestly can't remember very much of it. (What I do remember is difficulties I had, so no awesome memories for me.)

OP, I would also recommend the perfect prep. I was always insistent on following current guidelines, and this enabled me to do it without too much faffing. The worst bit was having to wash the bottles before dumping them into the milton steriliser.

alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling · 19/12/2014 20:45

I think that when you look at what has been important retrospectively Wink there are many things that are important in your DC lives - BF is one of them for me.

LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 20:46

The organic veg I weaned my dc onto isn't either.

Badvocinapeartree · 19/12/2014 20:47

I used cartons of pre made formula.
Sterilising bottles is easy and fairly quick....you can even get microwave sterilisers now.
It saved my sanity after a truly truly dreadful time with ds1 when all that came out of my nipples was blood :(
Good luck op x

alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling · 19/12/2014 20:51

Really - why bother then ?

Bit daft to keep on with it really if you don't think it is beneficial !

SquirrelledAway · 19/12/2014 20:56

Well, looking back I guess things like living in different countries has shaped my DCs more than what they ate for the first few months of their lives.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 19/12/2014 20:59

I just think that given what the OP said in her first post, where she said that the first few months with her first baby was fairly shit and she didnt really feel that she could go through it all again, and that she had states that she knew the benefits of breastfeeding so didnt want to discuss that here, posts like this:

'Just to add a different perspective on this issue - comparing what breastfeeding is like when it's working well and you're past the first few weeks:

  • availability: no need to get up or even sit up in the night to feed.
  • no need to plan or make any preparations when you go out for a day/holiday
  • barely woke up to feed in the night and went back to sleep immediately (yay for prolactin) so didn't get over tired
  • no paranoia about making up a feed wrong and making my baby sick
  • no need to calculate how much baby is feeding - if you can't see you can't worry about it, as long as baby is putting on weight
  • no cost (I got by without needing feeding clothes, pads or bras)
  • can feed anywhere
  • less constipation (exclusively breastfed)
  • no one taking over feeding the baby so you can do stuff which is less enjoyable, like cleaning.'

Are just not appropriate. What was the point of he above post on this particular thread?

Izzy24 · 19/12/2014 21:01

We all know the facts.

It is beyond me why we can't make our own decisions and respect other people's.

Why do we need to act like children in a playground?

'My choice is better than your choice and your choice sucks' (!)

FVFS!

YellowTulips · 19/12/2014 21:21

I BF'd DS for 6 weeks but it was a real struggle, despite lots of support from HV.

One night at 3am I was sat in the nursery trying to feed with DS screaming just weeping through exhaustion and breast/nipple pain.

DH got up, got in the car and drive to the nearest 24hr supermarket and came back with bottles, formula and all the sterilising stuff. He made up a bottle and gently said "this isn't good for either of you - can i give him this whilst you get some sleep? You can still BF, but no point in not having a bit of help from me is there?"

I reluctantly agreed - but it was the best thing ever. DS slept through the rest of night instead of waking hourly.

We continued to dual feed (BF in the day and FF just before bed) until he was weened.

Upshot is do what works for you- I wish I'd felt able (ie less guilt tripped) to dual feed or FF sooneras the first 6 weeks were utter hell when it need not have been the case.

FF was easy btw and the cartons were (pricy) but totally faff free.

skylark2 · 19/12/2014 21:31

What YellowTulips said.

Mixed feeding isn't recommended because it makes it statistically more likely that you'll give up breastfeeding completely, not because giving up completely is better than breastfeeding only some of the time.

If you don't want to breastfeed 20 times a day, don't (I wouldn't either, been there with my second one, it was soul-destroying after loving bfing with my first). But that doesn't mean you can't breastfeed five times a day, or twice a day, or whatever works for you, and have the rest of the feeds be formula.

YellowTulips · 19/12/2014 22:06

Tx Sky - btw I still get a bit teary about how wonderful DH was that night Smile

Hakluyt · 19/12/2014 22:21

"We all know the facts."

The problem is, we don't. The OP has been given some great advice- but also some crap, bordering on dangerous, advice too.

LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 22:31

Er we do.

Crap,dangerous,where exactly?

Rootandbranch · 19/12/2014 22:37

I think that post was relevant because everyone was comparing ff to breastfeeding which wasn't working.

Ie:

  • ff is more practical because you do it less
BUT not always as bf babies often get to the point where they are only feeding 4 times in 24 hours ff doesn't take as long
  • BUT not always as after the first few weeks many breastfed babies feed very quickly and efficiently
  • It's less faff ff out
BUT not necessarily because once feeding settles down it's often easy to bf discretely and without needing cushions, breast pads etc.

Most of the comparative posts here work on the assumption that ff is easier than problematic or very early days breastfeeding - that all bf babies feed constantly, they take ages, etc etc. it's a false and distorted comparison because it's assuming that all breastfeeding is like breastfeeding a newborn.

And you know - this is a PUBLIC forum. The only rules are - don't attack individuals. The OP had no right to tell people what they can or can't say on a thread - this forum isn't open to that level of control by individuals.

Hakluyt · 19/12/2014 22:38

Making up bottle with extra scoops of formula? Reheating bottles? Putting thickeners into bottles? Many, many women can't bf? Inability to express much indicates poor supply? I could go on..........

ElphabaTheGreen · 19/12/2014 22:45

'Aptamil is best because it's closest to breastmilk' Confused

ElphabaTheGreen · 19/12/2014 22:46

Making up bottles either with sub-70 degree water or 100 degree boiling water.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 19/12/2014 22:57

Yes but root the OP had already said that the first few months of her first baby's life were crap because of how difficult she found breastfeeding, so just saying 'oh no once you get the hang of it breastfeeding is a doddle' (which is probably true but I didn't stick at it long enough to find out!) is helpful on this particular thread is it?

Of course you are allowed to say what you want, but I personally think that deliberately diverting a thread such as this one, where the OP has asked for support on a specific thing and specifically asked for it not to go the other way, simply to fulfil your own agenda, isn't really cricket.

Hakluyt is right though - there is a hell of a lot of shit been spouted about infant feeding on this thread!

lozster · 19/12/2014 22:58

I think the OP was explaining that bf wasnt working for her and though it may seem like early days she suspects this will go the way of her first baby where it doesn't sound like it did get better FOR HER. Hence she wanted tips on ff not a debate on bf vs ff. I was in a similar position when my plan to exclusively bf was derailed as my baby wasnt getting enough milk and was hospitalised as a consequence. I had no equipment and knew nothing about how to sterilise. I was so fatigued by that point I could not focus to read any instructions.

Hakluyt · 19/12/2014 23:00

So no, we don't all know the facts. About bf or ff.

The Oap has has a bad bf experience, and usually - not always but usually- this happens because a woman doesn't have the right support or information. And because she has tried bf with both her babies, it means she is not an automatic formula feeder. So it is entirely OK to say "have you tried this, or that?" Because it sounds as if in a ideal world she would like to bf but for it not to be horrible.