Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I unreasonable... to 'steal' a comprising photo of my child ....

157 replies

slanleat · 14/12/2014 17:26

... even if that child is now an adult of 24?!

We were at my DH's family christmas party last night and it had been suggested that they all bring any old family photos they had along to view and bring back some memories. We arrived in and one of the first things that happened was one of my BIL's came up to me with a photo of a small nude boy child and made a joke about 'has it gotten any bigger over the years'. I actually initally thought it was a photo of BIL.

It was in fact a photo taken of my DS when I was in the hospital after having my DD1. And when looking through the other photos I came across another nude photo of him taken at the same time. My DH is in both of the photos. DS is eating, DH having a cuppa and toast... DS was 2yrs3mths. And I will say straight out that there is clearly nothing sexual about them, but its also not the type of photo I took of my kids.

I would often let them have 'nudey time' after baths etc but would never have thought to take a camera out for it.

So I took the two photos and put them into my handbag, with my DS's knowledge. His partner was at the party too, and she agreed with me that she thought it was 'creapy' that they were passing the photos around.

My DH seems to think it was unreasonable and I was stealing someone else's photos/property. I just said well its my child and I want the pictures. Must have been fairly strongly worded too, cause he left it at that.

But what do you think ... was I out of order?

OP posts:
Original poster
slanleat · 14/12/2014 17:28

compromising

OP posts:
SunnaClausIsComingToTown · 14/12/2014 17:28

You stole someone's photos. Of course YABU.

BIWI · 14/12/2014 17:30
Shock

YABVVVU - those photos are not your property, regardless of the fact they were of your son.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/12/2014 17:31

Yes you were unreasonable and bloody cheeky at that.

BackOnlyBriefly · 14/12/2014 17:31

YABU and yes theft.

and there's nothing compromising about a baby pic.

TheBoysMamma · 14/12/2014 17:31

YNBU

gamerchick · 14/12/2014 17:31

I would be taking naked photos of my kids off people as well. Except I wouldn't steal them I would be upfront about it.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 · 14/12/2014 17:31

I think YABU yes, they were not your photos!

Canyouforgiveher · 14/12/2014 17:32

I'd have done the same. Your BIL won't care either. Why would he?

Ohmygrood · 14/12/2014 17:32

Who did they belong to?

Flissypix · 14/12/2014 17:32

I would have done the same thing! Or at least hidden them I am always baffled by nude pictures of children that are put up at 18th/21st etc it is creepy.
My best friend had a terribly unflattering photo of me up in her living room and I accidentally knocked it behind a large piece of furniture.

HerrenaHarridan · 14/12/2014 17:33

You confiscated naked photos of your child. You told them you were doing it no sneaking involved.

Yanbu

LindyHemming · 14/12/2014 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohmygrood · 14/12/2014 17:33

How did ds feel about them?

ButEmilylovedhim · 14/12/2014 17:33

I would have taken them too.

AlfAlf · 14/12/2014 17:33

YANBU. Especially as it was being passed around the way it was, with your BIL making digs about ds's genitalia. Very inappropriate to discuss a child that way. I know he's not a child now, but he was in the photo and that's what was being discussed. Your dh and BIL clearly don't see it that way, but I wonder if they'd be so happy if it was a photo of a little girl?

fluffyraggies · 14/12/2014 17:34

It's not clear if your DH is your son's father.

I'm not sure it makes a difference - just trying to get my head round the family dynamics.

Your DHs parents have a photo of their DGS naked.

He is now an adult. Both he and his partner were pleased you took the photos.

On the fence here. But if pushed, i think .... YWNBU.

lanbro · 14/12/2014 17:34

I think it's sad that you think the photos are compromising. My almost 3yo is going through an undressing stage so on an evening she often has some naked play. I take photos of cute things she does the same as I would if she was clothed. The only difference is I never put nudey photos on fb but do share them with the gps if they're amusing.

YABU

TheBoysMamma · 14/12/2014 17:34

I'm saying yanbu because of the "has it gotten any bigger comment"
I wouldn't allow anyone to take nude photos of my child and wouldnt be happy with them being ridiculed like that. Maybe an over reaction but he's your son

feelingunsupported · 14/12/2014 17:35

Was your adult son bothered? Once he's an adult it's no longer your position to decide whether a picture of him is appropriate or not tbh.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 14/12/2014 17:36

I'd have done the same.

Having naked photos of someone else's child crosses a line.

If they were naked photos of an adult which were confiscated everyone would say you were fine to take them away.

Branleuse · 14/12/2014 17:39

yanbu. they were your son and your family were attempting to use them in a humiliating way which is completely inappropriate and weird. I would have been furious

mytartanscarf · 14/12/2014 17:39

Yanbu.

I do NOT like naked pictures of children.

If other people feel differently then they can take them of their child.

I would certainly have done the same as the op.

kateclarke · 14/12/2014 17:40

I would have done the same too. For the people who don't agree, how would you feel if someone had a nude photo of you that you didn't want them to have?

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 14/12/2014 17:40

You did the right thing. My dsis had a photo of her son playing the piano naked. He found it recently and asked that she destroy it. She was unhappy but did so as he is 21 and she felt she had no right to keep a picture of him he objected to, as he was unable to give consent to it having been taken in the first place.

Your bil clearly just produced the photo to embarrass your ds, judging by what he said. I wouldn't be in a rush to consider his feelings or your own morality under those circumstances.