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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave baby asleep with a working monitor whilst I go next door for Christmas drinks?

252 replies

PatButchersLostEaring · 12/12/2014 20:36

Really unsure if this is a bad idea so opinions please.

Baby 18 months sound asleep with monitor on and working. DH next door quaffing mulled wine and I plan to join him...... Maybe.

Is this ok?

OP posts:
Pengyquin · 13/12/2014 14:45

Wow.

I wouldn't do it, and seemingly neither would a lot of other posters. Not for mulled wine. Maybe if my child was sick and desperately needed paracetamol from the chemist 2 doors down.

Seriously? You left your child alone for mulled wine??

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 13/12/2014 15:00

No point posting a simple question in AIBU and then getting sarky when people replied with simple answers.

I don't judge or care that you went ahead and did it - doesn't make you a bad mother despite what some people might say.

But don't be surprised at the answers you got!

fatterface · 13/12/2014 15:08

I would. So long as you feel comfortable and will be able to relax and enjoy yourself I can't see the harm.

Pastperfect · 13/12/2014 15:22

Many of the posts on here have been hysterical, frankly I'm suprised people get through their day for panicking.

I live in a big house. Once the DC go to bed I won't hear them unless they come to me. Equally if there was a fire in one part if the house or someone broke in it is entirely feasible I wouldn't be aware. Are people really advocating that I sit outside their bedroom doors all night "just in case you".

Shockingundercrackers · 13/12/2014 15:23

Just tiptoeing in to add that after I had DC3 my neighbour invited us round for a drink and told us to just bring the monitor... Can't remember whether that's what we did or not, but I can tell you that neighbour is a senior health visitor and didn't see anything wrong with it.

bitofanoddone · 13/12/2014 16:03

We did it all the time and lived in a victorian terrace. We used a video monitor.

MorelliOrRanger · 13/12/2014 16:07

Nope never. Have one of these Biscuit

flowery · 13/12/2014 16:17

"It's important because parents need pleasures in life that are not wholly child-centred."

Indeed they do. Hence the marvellous invention called the babysitter.

ithoughtofitfirst · 13/12/2014 16:18

morelli Xmas Grin

MrsMcColl · 13/12/2014 16:45

Have done it many times, in very similar scenario - two flats in same house. No problems, no angst, all fine. 'What if, what if' is no way to live.

katese11 · 13/12/2014 16:51

No one's questioning OP's right to go for mulled wine...I totally get the need to do child free things! But I don't understand why her OH couldn't swap in for half an hour. He could take the mulled wine home with him! I know people are saying the risk is minimal but IMO it's an unnecessary one. Of course nothing happened...It's very unlikely...But that doesn't make it the right call.

Iggi999 · 13/12/2014 16:54

MrsMcColl - nor is "if only".

MrsMcColl · 13/12/2014 17:01

The thing is, if you've taken all the reasonable precautions you can think of, I think that's enough, given the extreme unlikeliness of some of the disasters mentioned here. If I make a non-essential car journey and get hit, I'd say 'if only...' If course I would. Doesn't mean I did the wrong thing though.

fluffyraggies · 13/12/2014 17:05

Living with ''What if'' in your head is a part of parenting. It's about thinking ahead for the safety of our child.

As for scorning some peoples opinions as being 'holier than thou' and 'hysterical' OP ... why on earth ask in the first place if you were always confident of the answer you wanted? Confused

For the record - personally i would not have left my baby to go next door for the all important, un-child centered, mulled wine.

MrsMcColl · 13/12/2014 17:11

But where does 'what if' stop? You could say it endlessly, about all kinds of things. Daily living (of the un-neurotic variety) is all about weighing up risks and deciding what you're comfortable with.

So, in a case like this, for me: away from kids but in the same building = fine, outside the building (or general premises - to include garden) = not fine.

fakenamefornow · 13/12/2014 17:13

I would if I was going to be just the other side of a wall. Leave the radio on though so you can hear the monitor is working.

katese11 · 13/12/2014 17:18

But why take any kind of a risk when you have an easy and obvious way round it? (OH comes home for 30 mins)?

MrsMcColl · 13/12/2014 17:26

Why take my baby out in the car to visit a friend when there's the easy and obvious solution of staying safely in my own home...

WUME · 13/12/2014 17:26

Years ago this would have been fine.

Now we live in the world of tabloid hysteria.

A man on 'This morning' was arrested because he left his poorly 7/8yo daughter (who was asleep) in a locked car whilst he ran into the chemist to get her some calpol for five minutes. His wife lost her teaching job. All of their children were evaluated for neglect and if they needed taking into a care. It dragged on for years. In the end a judge said 'they have suffered enough' and put an end to it. They were a very middle class family (his wife was keen to point out her son was a choirster or somesuch important thing).

It's this hysteria that would stop me doing it. Not the fact that I think any harm would come to a sleeping baby.

MrsMcColl · 13/12/2014 17:35

I'm sure you're right WUME: risk hasn't increased, but perception has.

katese11 · 13/12/2014 17:36

Why take my baby out in the car to visit a friend when there's the easy and obvious solution of staying safely in my own home...

How is that the same?? I give up...

MrsMcColl · 13/12/2014 17:39

It's on the 'what if' continuum of anxiety and fearfulness. (And of course, a baby is much more likely to come to harm, risk and probability-wise, on the average car journey than in the scenario described in the OP.)

Pishedorf · 13/12/2014 17:48

I wouldn't do it. And I do think people who do this are bad parents and I would judge them for it.

grannymcphee · 13/12/2014 18:00

Think of Madeline McCann, and I think you have your answer! No No No Never!!

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 13/12/2014 18:01

Think of Madeline McCann, and I think you have your answer!

I call BINGO!