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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really hurt and upset regarding an unwanted gift?

334 replies

EdSheeransGString · 12/12/2014 18:55

My DP has been going on and on since last year about a playstation 4. He wanted one but said he was going to wait until they came down in price a bit.
Anyway, he didn't buy one so I have been saving for months to buy him one for Christmas.

He has been a bit stressed recently so I thought I'd buy it and give him it early to cheer him up a bit.

I paid £350 for it, which may not seem like a lot of money but to me it's a huge amount, I'm really struggling at the moment and I've been saving since may.

He came home from work, I had spent most of the afternoon cooking a meal (I'm hopeless in the kitchen, cooking is not my strong point) to be met with him asking me what the fuck I'd tried to cook and that he wasn't risking it he was going to get a takeaway. Fair enough, it probably wasn't that great a meal anyway but I'd spent a while preparing it so I was a bit upset.

I then gave him the playstation and straight away he started moaning that I hadn't bought the right games, that it only had one control pad and why had I not paid for the online membership you need to play with your mates online? I had no idea that you even needed to pay to go online.

I burst into tears and I've been upset for the past hour. OK he doesn't like it, i bought the wrong one but surely he could at least have said thank you? He knows how skint I am and i told him how long it took me to save for it. Sad

He has been in his bed for the past hour, we won't see him again tonight so I can package it all back up but I've called argos and they won't let me return it because I stupidly set it up for him to use straight away, thinking he would be happy and could spend the evening relaxing.

Am I being pathetic?

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 12/12/2014 19:02

And I agree - sell on eBay - and write in the description that it was for your ungrateful arsehole of a stbxdp who was childish enough to complain it was the wrong kind of PS4.

Itsfab · 12/12/2014 19:02

What a horrible man.

MissYamabuki · 12/12/2014 19:02

You are not being pathetic at all. How upsetting Sad. Tell him you're selling it, then sell it.

AlpacaMyBags · 12/12/2014 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treaclesoda · 12/12/2014 19:03

Your 'D'P is a bully. All of it, not just the Playstation. Saying he wasn't going to risk eating a meal you had cooked? Unless you were dishing up raw chicken, it wasn't a risk to him. Even if you're not the world's greatest cook, it's not actually going to kill him. And I bet your cooking is just fine actually, but if he has been taking delight in telling you that it's crap, its no wonder you have no confidence in that area.

Take the PS4 back to the shop and get a refund, he doesn't deserve it. And he doesn't deserve you either.

AnnieLobeseder · 12/12/2014 19:03

Though the fact that you even need to ask if you're being pathetic indicates that he may already have ground you down. You're worth more than this, please know that.

And yes, sell the PS4 on Gumtree/Ebay asap if you have no joy with Argos.

apotatoprintinapeartree · 12/12/2014 19:03

I know this may not be popular but I believe only children need toys, not grown men.
Ditch the child and find yourself a man who has grown out of toys.
i'm sure £350 could have gone towards something he needed.

pilates · 12/12/2014 19:03

LTB

thursday · 12/12/2014 19:03

He's a dick, he can buy himself games and online access etc. he's an ungrateful oaf, is he 12??? Flog it, flog him.

KatieKaye · 12/12/2014 19:03

You sound lovely
He sounds like a rude, vile prick.

Please don't waste any more time and money on this cocklodger.

MrsToddsShortcut · 12/12/2014 19:03

Wow. He's a charmer isn't he.

Seriously, I'm livid on your behalf. Is he usually like this? He sounds utterly selfish and spoilt. What's your relationship usually like?

To be honest, he could have been having a really really bad day, but the fact that he's now sulking in bed isn't a good sign at all. Do you have kids with him? How is he with them?

I'm so sorry. But seriously, take the advice above, sell the PS4 and keep the money for yourself Flowers

bakingtins · 12/12/2014 19:03

What an arse. Return or resell it and buy yourself something lovely.

tabulahrasa · 12/12/2014 19:05

You haven't bought the wrong one btw...games, controllers and online access are all add on things that it's totally normal to have to buy extra, especially if someone had been kind enough to buy the console for you.

He's being an arse...it's the equivalent of buying the car you've always wanted and then complaining that you don't like the air freshener or the dog guard and that they haven't insured it as well.

In other words - bloody ungrateful.

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 12/12/2014 19:05

Your DP sounds like a dick. I would ditch him and sell the playstation on ebay or amazon or something.

EdSheeransGString · 12/12/2014 19:06

Thanks for the replies.

I'm going to sell it on Gumtree or similar and spend the money on dcs.

I should have known, he has form for being a twat but I genuinely thought he would be pleased and at the very least have thanked me.

He can be difficult at times.

OP posts:
SnowSpot · 12/12/2014 19:06

I think he is acting like a dick, and you have every right to be upset.

But…
As to being grateful for presents that aren't quite right - it can be tricky when people buy you an expensive thing, and it isn't the right one. I've had this a couple of times in my life - my engagement ring and a food processor I think (v. middle class!) - and when something isn't right, it's not right.

But - that shouldn't have been any excuse for how he treated you. He should have been way more diplomatic - absolutely. He was being a twunt and I would wonder about why you are with him.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/12/2014 19:06

What they all said. Please get rid of this ungrateful prick from your life. And take it back and get your money back.

upthedamnwotsit · 12/12/2014 19:07

What a horrible thing to do. Consider £350 the cost of learning what a twat he is- you really do deserve more than this. I can't imagine how self-involved and selfish you'd have to be as an adult to react to such a lovely and expensive gift.

SnowSpot · 12/12/2014 19:08

Can you sell your DP on Ebay or Gumtree? Wink

bloodyteenagers · 12/12/2014 19:08

What an utter cunt.
Dump the fucker and sell the ps4.

Summerbreezer · 12/12/2014 19:09

OP, YABU. To even ask the question.

In the nicest possible way, your boundaries are a bit off. I bet this isn't the first time he has behaved in this way. You need to re-examine your self-esteem.

Brodicea · 12/12/2014 19:09

What a total arse!! And making out that you got the 'wrong one' - NO SUCH THING as everyone has said.

I am livid on your behalf. Ditch the bastard, he'll just continue to grind you down.

HamAlive · 12/12/2014 19:09

I wouldn't accept that reaction from my three year old.

And it wasn't the wrong one, he could easily have bought himself the extra controller, games and online membership.

Dick.

LindyHemming · 12/12/2014 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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