To be really hurt and upset regarding an unwanted gift?

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My DP has been going on and on since last year about a playstation 4. He wanted one but said he was going to wait until they came down in price a bit.
Anyway, he didn't buy one so I have been saving for months to buy him one for Christmas.

He has been a bit stressed recently so I thought I'd buy it and give him it early to cheer him up a bit.

I paid £350 for it, which may not seem like a lot of money but to me it's a huge amount, I'm really struggling at the moment and I've been saving since may.

He came home from work, I had spent most of the afternoon cooking a meal (I'm hopeless in the kitchen, cooking is not my strong point) to be met with him asking me what the fuck I'd tried to cook and that he wasn't risking it he was going to get a takeaway. Fair enough, it probably wasn't that great a meal anyway but I'd spent a while preparing it so I was a bit upset.

I then gave him the playstation and straight away he started moaning that I hadn't bought the right games, that it only had one control pad and why had I not paid for the online membership you need to play with your mates online? I had no idea that you even needed to pay to go online.

I burst into tears and I've been upset for the past hour. OK he doesn't like it, i bought the wrong one but surely he could at least have said thank you? He knows how skint I am and i told him how long it took me to save for it.

He has been in his bed for the past hour, we won't see him again tonight so I can package it all back up but I've called argos and they won't let me return it because I stupidly set it up for him to use straight away, thinking he would be happy and could spend the evening relaxing.

Am I being pathetic?

'I suppose he has a point there'

No, he doesn't. He is living in your house, you are supposed to be a family. Don't let him fool you with 'it's my money and I work for it'. He could always live on his own and spend his money on himself, but no, he chooses to live with you, presumably because it suits him, and as such he should be contributing.

Sorry, that wasn't mean to sound harsh towards you, just that I think he has worn you down so much that you can't really see just how horribly he is treating you.

God almighty OP. You are 2 years younger than my DD and you are bringing out the protective mum in me.

Dump that abusive arse's arse. You will be better off emotionally and financially without him.

He is nothing but a cocklodger.

In a way it's a blessing he has never contributed to the house. That means you can kick him out and owe him nada.

Get him out. Today if possible.

"He earns his money and that's his money. He pays absolutely nothing towards house/dds/food etc. He says it's because it's my house not his (it's rented in my name thankfully) and he works hard for his cash why should he give it to me? I suppose he has a point there."

No, no, he really doesn't!!!! Why should he live for free?...

Whereabouts are you, OP?

Do you have help/support in RL?

He can't be working that hard as you can only earn a tiny amount and still claim IS.

Ditch him, sell the console and find work. Your DD needs a positive role model for both relationships and working.

Wow.........just wow!

I'm speechless. What an absolute asshole! So what if you 'picked the wrong bundle' 'didn't get the PS plus subscription'... throwing toys out of the pram or what! You didn't 'buy the wrong one' btw - PS plus is a separate, annual subscription, the controllers alone are £70 ish. You did a really lovely thing and he is being downright...he is being an asshole. He doesn't deserve this gift or you!

It's coming up to Christmas, someone will buy that off you. Look at Gumtree, Ebay and the like.

As for criticizing your cooking, wtf? He sounds awful. Do not give in to this hissy fit. Have a look at selling the PS4 and go and buy yourself something nice with the money. If he hates your cooking so much tell him he can sort out his own meals from now on. What an absolute bellend. Grrrr!

Utter can't. No question about it. You absolutely deserve much better than him. You are doing the right thing in planning your exit and selling the ps4. I wish you a happy, brilliant future without the fucking arsehole.

You are worth so much more. He is a terrible model for your DCs - you and they would be so much happier without him around. Forget the playstation for a moment - if my DH ever said anything so dismissive and ungrateful to me about food I'd cooked for him, he would be wearing it! A friend of mine once presented her DP with a bolognese sauce which included banana - did he refuse to eat it or take the piss? No - they both ended up in hysterics laughing at her 'creativity', and it remains a favourite story. Words fail me about the playstation - ungrateful twat is about all I can come up with. So glad to read that you're seriously considering ending the relationship - I'd kick him out this weekend, but understand that it's not always that practical to do on short notice. Hoping to read a future thread where you're celebrating seeing the back of him!

Oh wow. Op I have no words,what a total shit he is. I don't say this lightly but get him the hell out of your house!
Sell the play station you'll probably get most of your money back this close to Christmas. Buy something nice for yourself and you pr dd.
you deserve so so much better. I am not the worlds greatest cook but even my ex had the decency to at least try to eat it and say thank you and he was pretty crap in general!

Woah OP. After reading your last update I just feel so bad for you. You know he is abusive and controlling, right? You deserve so much better. And you can do so much better.

You get £42/wk income support because of DP's earnings, but you don't actually see any of them? So you can't claim full income support, and you don't see any of his money either?

I've seen some pretty horrific stories on this site over the years, but this is among the worst (not just that bit about income support, but because each of your posts is screaming out that you have very low self-esteem and this man is taking advantage of you). He goes to bed at 5.30/6 while you are dealing with everything else? Does he contribute equally to the food bill? Does he pay anything at all, reliably (not just bunging a few quid here or ther) for anyone other than himself?

This man has contempt for you. Far from loving you and respecting you and treating you like his equal and oartner, he is laughing at you and looking down on you.

I've never said it before, but I'll say it now: LTB. Life alone would be so much better than with this man. There can be no happy ending here, at best it will only ever stay the same. Kick him out, get rid of him.

Kick him out - but be ready for the blaming/guilt trips/abuse that will come your way when you do.

At first I thought 'ungrateful, childish twat - I'd be andry if my 6yr old behaved like that', but after your later posts, I'm thinking abusive arsehole.

Glad to read you're planning your exit

OP this guy is emotionally and financially abusing you. The term Cocklodger certainly applies!

The house is in your name. When he goes out to work tomorrow, change the locks and kick him out! You can then have a lovely Xmas with your children and make plans for the new year.

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago and it was the best decision! It's still hard financially, but less weight on my shoulders, independence, freedom and no lose dragging me down each day. Your kids will be picking up on the way he treats you and it will be effecting them. Set them the right example and get rid! You won't look back, I promise you that.

I've only read your posts OP but I can imagine the posts of others above.

Move on from this man. You deserve so much better my lovely. He sounds horrible and not worth your time.

Good luck.

Please kick him out

He's a disgusting excuse for a man

OP... I'm so sorry for you. You don't really have any decision to make, do you? :(

I have to ask this though... if you're skint and only now able to buy your DC(s) Christmas presents if you sell that PS4... why would you buy that for your partner? So expensive and he doesn't even buy any presents for your children?

You remind me very much of one of my friends who was so desperate to keep hold of her man that she did similar and kept doing it. It really didn't end well but end it did - he ended it - bled her dry, lost her the respect of nearly everybody around her and worst of all, gave her children the message that 'that man' came first, everytime.

Do you have some RL friends you can confide in? Somebody who can gently help you through your feelings on this because it sounds very much as if you were wounded by your child's father first and were wanting to get another one, ostensibly for them, but very strongly for you too. They really don't need another man right now, they need you.

The right man will come along when you're up to it but OP, your 'twat filter' needs adjusting - and believe me, mine has had to be MOT'd many times.

For you

Please do what AfroPuffs says. Why should you pay for his food, rent, hot water, electricity? Plus you likely do all the household work too. This whole situation is really upsetting. I'm going for a walk to let off steam!

Please don't feel guilty about claiming benefits. They are a safety net and you need to be safe.

Great that the house is in your name. Can you possibly go upstairs now and tell him to get out, now, and never come back?
I'm really not following how you can possibly think your life is better with him in it, what on earth do you get out if having him in your life?
Also, your numbers don't add up. You don't earn anything, and yet the money you get on benefits doesn't cover your rent, and you pay for all rent and good etc.. How?

Couples income support is £113 according to google and you can keep £20 of earnings so if you claim £43 then he must earn £90 a week. Even on min wage that's only 14 hours a week so why in earth does he need to go to bed so early. Some college students work more hours around full time study.

Like lying has pointed out, why spend that amount on him and not your children?

CEX (link up thread) will give you £310 in cash for that bundle (assuming it's the one on the front page of Argos!

They have stores everywhere.

Get your money back. The rest is up to you.

OP, I'm 26 too...and my abusive ex was older. Even at 26, I guarantee you'll have an easier time with him out of your house. No need to piss about with him. Let him go to work, change the locks, inform him you're no longer an item via text and let him know when he can collect his things. Have a support network with you when he arrives to do this. If he keeps all of his wage and gives you no money towards any living costs, he has plenty of cash for a hotel. xxx

There is no such thing as the wrong ps4, perhaps he may have chose a different bundle if he had bought it himself but like others have said extra controllers, online membership is an optional extra. He could have ebayed unwanted game can put money towards another one. Ungrateful sod

Yup, it's time to LTB I'm afraid.

It's so sad that you saved up all that money to buy him a present.