To be really hurt and upset regarding an unwanted gift?

[EdSheeransGString]

My DP has been going on and on since last year about a playstation 4. He wanted one but said he was going to wait until they came down in price a bit.
Anyway, he didn't buy one so I have been saving for months to buy him one for Christmas.

He has been a bit stressed recently so I thought I'd buy it and give him it early to cheer him up a bit.

I paid £350 for it, which may not seem like a lot of money but to me it's a huge amount, I'm really struggling at the moment and I've been saving since may.

He came home from work, I had spent most of the afternoon cooking a meal (I'm hopeless in the kitchen, cooking is not my strong point) to be met with him asking me what the fuck I'd tried to cook and that he wasn't risking it he was going to get a takeaway. Fair enough, it probably wasn't that great a meal anyway but I'd spent a while preparing it so I was a bit upset.

I then gave him the playstation and straight away he started moaning that I hadn't bought the right games, that it only had one control pad and why had I not paid for the online membership you need to play with your mates online? I had no idea that you even needed to pay to go online.

I burst into tears and I've been upset for the past hour. OK he doesn't like it, i bought the wrong one but surely he could at least have said thank you? He knows how skint I am and i told him how long it took me to save for it.

He has been in his bed for the past hour, we won't see him again tonight so I can package it all back up but I've called argos and they won't let me return it because I stupidly set it up for him to use straight away, thinking he would be happy and could spend the evening relaxing.

Am I being pathetic?

You sound so lovely and it is heart breaking that you think so little of yourself you are grateful for the crumbs he gives you.

Have you thought about why your family can't stand him? I expect they would be round in a shot if you said you wanted him out but he probably won't go. Have you got a burly brother to encourage him to go?

I agree it'sfab or the Police!

I've been reading Viz, and the OP's partner makes the Spoilt Bastard character seem like an absolute model of gratitude and appreciation.

I have never said this before but please, for you and your children, leave this man.

I've not read the whole thread and someone might have pointed this out already but the PS$ only comes with one controller. You didn't buy the wrong one at all. If you want an extra controller you buy another controller. If he wants a subscription he buys that separately too.

He sounds like a horrible person and is acting worse than a child.

He sounds like a spoilt child, you sound lovely, you can do better than him, your worth more. I would take the playstation back and buy yourself something nice with the money, oh...and ditch him .

Oh OP, I feel so sad for you.

Pack up the PS4 and either ebay or tale it back to Argos and tell them it's faulty (I'd be tempted to do the latter but I have questionable morals ).

Phone dwp on Monday tell them you need to change your claim as you are now single, phone the job center and do the same and again with whoever pays housing / council tax these days - possibly your local council. I wouldn't bother mentioning you think it might have been wrong before - if it was either they'll eventually work it out and get back to you (by which time you might be more financially stable) or they'll never notice. I know that might not feel right but honestly the position you've been in you couldn't have coped being worse off and that is your Stbx's fault not yours.

Tell the twat he needs to leave your house, if he is in any way aggressive about it - even just raising his voice in a way that makes you frightened - phone the police and they will remove him.

Post on relationships here and you'll get loads of support.

Fwiw I bought DH an xbox one I'd secretly scrimped and saved for for his birthday. He was so so pleased with it, it was the thing he most wanted but his immediate reaction was worry that I might have gone without to get it for him and he offered to take it back and have a less expensive gift so I could also benefit from my saving up (although actually him getting something he really wants happens so rarely that giving it to him was totally worth my scrimping).

You've done such a kind thing, you should be treated so much better than this.

Tawdryslapper, that's a kind offer.

When i left my asshole the kindness of strangers was less humiliating to accept.

Yes Mandetory, that would be my dh reaction, he would be really pleased and grateful, and would have been unhappy that I spent a lot on him.

If you had to save so much for this present for him, have you got enough to buy your kids nice presents? It would be very sad for them to do without for him, especially as he is so mean and ungrateful (understatement) They are probably too young now to notice or care if that is the case, but won't always be.

Can you try to imagine a wonderful, kind man's reaction to your amazing gift. The surprise, the delight, the gratitude followed by the hugs and kisses? That nice kind man is out there waiting to love you but he'll never get a chance if you're still with cocklodger. Would you really rather forfeit the chance to have a wonderful man to stick with the beast you have now.

I think getting rid and having a wonderful time just you and dc, building up your confidence and self esteem would really help you get stronger. You don't need a man. You certainly don't need this sorry excuse for one. But a nice one would be nice :) when you're up to it.

I think you owe it to yourself and to your kids to do this, make the brave step and get rid. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to them.

I hope your family will be there to help you. I'm sure plenty of mumsnetters would be willing. I suspect I am a little too far away to be of any use.

I wish you all the best. Everyone is right, you sound so absolutely lovely it's terrible for you to be treated so contemptuously.

Chiming in to say, hope we're not hearing from you because you're too busy with the bin bags and maybe a with your family.

Oh I do hope so! Really, Ed, it really is not better to be with a shit awful man than no man at all.

I would be livid!!! My oh would be so grateful if I got him a ps4, them things are expensive!

Your oh does not even give you a thank you?! What a ungrateful horrible cunt. Sell it online and spend the money on you and never buy anything for that tosser again if he is not going to appreciate it!

I suspect, we're not hearing from the OP because she was expecting to have some people tell her that no relationship is perfect, that relationships are work, that he works all day etc , that to leave would replace one set of problems with another........ all the things he has trained her to believe, to prevent her from wanting more than this.

that's the reaction I expected when I started a similar thread years ago. I was shocked that not a single poster reinforced the cognitive dissonance I'd been clinging to in order to stay with such a dickhead. I didn't leave immediately after the thread but from then on, I was planning.

I hope you are lining up your ducks OP

He's a cock. You sound lovely, so get him out and live your life. No one needs to just exist with someone who treats them like shit.

Take it back to argos and say it is faulty - say it keeps cutting outw

They will refund you then

Use the money to change the locks. I have never seen or heard of anything so ungrateful in my life. I have not read the other posts so this may have been mentioned before. Ditch him. No one deserves to be treated the way you have.

Hey OP, hope you're OK. Please let us know. Lots of people on here have been through what you're about to. Let them support you.

You don't even need all £350 to change the locks: buying the new barrels cost £10-25ish for each and are simpler to change than you think.

Op please read all this thread and gain strength from it! Not one person of 12 pages thinks this is ok, everyone on here has told you to kick him out! Please print it out and use it to help get some of your self esteem and self worth back enough to kick him out! Your P is a nasty abusive individual, while you are with him, you will suffer and cannot have tge life you deserve.

I told my DH about you and the PS4 and he was , what a bastard he thought she needs to kick him out! My DH is not perfect, he is the most undomesticated man going, and doesent do cooking, I am a STahp and he works, he sure loves me though and respect me and would never ever treat me like that!

Please please if you don't do this for yourself, do this for your DDs, you don't want them repeating tge cycle when tgey are older. They deserve better than this man in their life.

The good news is he is such a fuckwit, and inputs nothing into your or your DCs lives, so it becomes a no brainer to leave him.

He adds nothing to your lives (no love, no money, no help round the house, no support with DCs) so you have nothing to lose by leaving him. And everything to gain.

How are you this morning OP? I'm a Long time lurker but your post has played on my mind overnight and I wanted to offer my support.
Your 'D'P sounds like an absolutely prick who does not deserve your love. Please, please pack up the PS4 because I agree with other posters who've said he'll wake up this morning and begrudgingly start playing with it whilst complaining that you didn't buy the right package.
Please let us know how you are OP

Dear Ed. I hope you're not thinking he's the best you can get.

Whether he's made you think that - how was your self-esteem when you met him btw? - or your self-esteem had been systematically destroyed before, he REALLY is NOT the best you can get.

What you want, want we all want, is a friend. He is not your friend. xx

Dear OP this man is a cockwomble unless there is something like a mental illness that you've not told us about. If there are no mitigating circumstances, please get rid of him.

And sell the PS4 on ebay and buy yourself something nice with the money instead.

How is your partner being now OP? Is he an ex or still being a shit?