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Original poster

To have the rage at parents who don't provide sanpro

154 replies

Wonc · 12/12/2014 10:19

Had coffee today with a friend who works as a school secretary at my DC's school and she told me there are a number of parents who think it is the school's responsibility to provide sanitary products.
She said it is always the same girls every month.

WTAF?

I am mortified for these girls. As an introvert, I would have died having to go and ask someone each month for sanpro.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it Sad. She seemed very blasé about it, whereas I can't believe this is a thing.

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/12/2014 11:14

Cheesee Flowers I'm so sorry, that sounds terrible.

CatCushion · 12/12/2014 11:16

Thanks Jeanne! I haven't seen it on the lists at the supermarket when they collect near me, will ask next time.

Am wondering if the schools get them for free. I have a vague idea that they used to for girls who are in care/on free school meals (and that I took money in to may for the time I'd been given some.)

cheesee · 12/12/2014 11:18

Lonny, it was awful yes - but I came out the other end{smile}. But what I am finding more horrible are the people on this thread refusing to believe that a kid can be in this situation and be blameless. Whether they are blameless due to the poverty of their parents, or in my case due to the selfishness of the parents. It's getting my back right up that so many won't accept something that is (was) a reality for many of us.

Mrsjayy · 12/12/2014 11:20

Please for the love of anything stop calling it sanpro its fecking annoying anyway maybe these girls are just forget ful disorganised or lazy and don't take stuff from home and chance their arm at school perhaps your gossipy friend should raise it with school pastoral care staff if she is so concerned.

ChunkyPickle · 12/12/2014 11:21

The food bank my kids school donates to asks for all personal care items. They have no trouble getting nappies or wipes, but getting other stuff is more of a problem with donations.

At harvest, DS1 took in toothbrushes, toothpaste, and sanpro for their donation box.

Original poster
Wonc · 12/12/2014 11:21

Cheesee Flowers

OP posts:
ChunkyPickle · 12/12/2014 11:21

I don't particularly like the word, but it's all-encompassing and quick to type.

What alternative do you have?

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 12/12/2014 11:21

Why are some people reluctant to believe that not everyone has enough money to buy essentials like sanpro?

Because a months supply only costs a pound or two and the child tax credits system means that low income families have should have enough money for basic essentials?

If there is not enough money in a family with school age children it is almost certainly poor budgeting and prioritising of money rather than lack of money overall.

CatCushion · 12/12/2014 11:23

Yes, and a disorganised child can be blameless too.

So sorry to hear about the difficulties you had to face as a child, cheesee.

catsmother · 12/12/2014 11:23

I hate threads like these - I mean, what is the fucking point of prattling on in a supercilious manner about how bloody well organised you happen to be and therefore, it can't possibly be beyond others to do the same thing ?

As for 'poverty top trumps' ..... well, in the context of this thread, I actually find that pretty offensive even though thankfully I have no direct personal experience of this issue. However, I very much doubt that those posters who've shared their negative past experiences did so in order to score points in a game they didn't even know they were taking part in Hmm .... rather, they were contributing their stories in order to illustrate why some poor girls regularly subject themselves to the humiliation of begging for towels and tampons from the school secretary.

Undoubtedly some of those will be disorganised and nothing more sinister than that is going on but equally, do some posters really possess such a lack of imagination that they can't possibly fathom for a second that some other girls are placed in that unenviable position because of neglect and/or poverty. FFS.

MN at its 'best' ..... I did/do it, so you can too. Easy. Problem solved.

If only ......

..... poor kids, I really hope the secretary concerned is flagging up these 'same girls' so their home situations can be monitored and constructive help offered where possible instead of seeing the situation as a simple opportunity to slag off and gossip about 'can't be bothered' parents, tut-tut.

XmasTimeMammariesandWine · 12/12/2014 11:23

yes, just close the food banks then Hmm

CarmelasFridge · 12/12/2014 11:25

My daughter has plenty of sanpro and plenty of cash, she's also disorganised and fond of getting out of a lesson for 10 minutes to have the lovely lady in the office give her sympathy and sanpro. Try not to worry about her.

HappyAgainOneDay · 12/12/2014 11:26

I never went without sanitary towels (Mother introduced me to Dr White's and I never knew anything else).

cheesee I feel for you. I don't know that it was to the same degree as your young life but I remember that my father sold his lovely wheelbarrow to enable me to have a winter coat - it was green with a belt.

formerbabe · 12/12/2014 11:26

Don't be so ridiculous...many of the women posting here would have started their periods years before the tax credit system was created. The girls nowadays may have parents who don't give a shit or prioritise their money differently.
In my case, my father could easily have afforded it but he never suggested getting me any and I would have been so embarrassed to ask.

CatCushion · 12/12/2014 11:30

XmasTime what on earth are you on about? Obviously a lot of girls who need free sanpro cannot get them from food banks, but cam get them from schools.

formerbabe · 12/12/2014 11:30

My daughter has plenty of sanpro and plenty of cash

That's good. Not all girls are so lucky. Why is that so hard for some people to understand?!

HappyAgainOneDay · 12/12/2014 11:30

PS The coat was green with a belt. Not the wheelbarrow .....

catsmother · 12/12/2014 11:32

*Because a months supply only costs a pound or two and the child tax credits system means that low income families have should have enough money for basic essentials?

If there is not enough money in a family with school age children it is almost certainly poor budgeting and prioritising of money rather than lack of money overall.*

.... and the blinkered attitude continues.

What 'should' happen and what 'does' happen in some families are two very different things.

Perhaps the school secretary should send girls away with a flea in their ear and a lecture about how their parents 'should' prioritise their spending. I'm sure that'll help greatly.

Mrsjayy · 12/12/2014 11:33

I just hate threads with my friend who works in a school was telling me... it is gossipy judgemental and disrespectful to the children they are gossiping about these are real girls some maybe like the pp who had terrible parents and basic needs were not met it really bothers me that these girls were discussed over a cup of tea and a hobnob

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/12/2014 11:33

If there is not enough money in a family with school age children it is almost certainly poor budgeting and prioritising of money rather than lack of money overall

Oh I do love an 'almost' certainty. But say that is the case - someone can't budget because they've never been taught, or because they bought the kids presents at Brighthouse last year and they're still paying it back - is that OK then?

Original poster
Wonc · 12/12/2014 11:34

I'm sorry you feel that way catsmother. That wasn't my intention and I'm sorry if my OP came across that way.

I feel so sad for these girls and (clearly naively) thought this could not possibly be an issue in 2014.

What can be done? By the power of MN...

OP posts:
DayLillie · 12/12/2014 11:34

I was always short of sanpro. When I came on, I had to go to my mother and ask for some money, and take a bag down to the local chemist and buy my own. One packet was never quite enough, so I was never had anything just in case for the next time. I didn't dare ask for any more money, so had to make them last (we were always running out of money).

When I got older, I bought some new smaller ones with my babysitting money, so they didn't stick out at the front and back. She had to borrow one of them once and was very scornful Confused.

My mother did not like buying bras either. She was funny about growing up. She sort of wanted to tell us all the right things, then try and sweep it under the carpet and not think about it all at the same time, because it would lead to sex...............?

When I was a student and had 'grant money' I discovered you could go to Boots and buy big boxes of tampons ('only for women who are married or had a baby', according to my mum). Now I have loads of stuff and never run out, even though my daughters are at uni Grin I even have some in the downstairs loo for visitors.

I think a lot of the girls are probably disorganised, but don't have the help at home to deal with it, whether that is financial or otherwise. It would have been a blessing to be able to do this at our school (although the teacher in charge of such things was a dragon). I once had to make do with scrunched up izal medicated Hmm

XmasTimeMammariesandWine · 12/12/2014 11:35

Catcushion I was replying to OnIlkley's ridiculous post. I x posted.

so no need to be rude :)

Whereisegg · 12/12/2014 11:35

TooHasty you said that your dd has a plentiful supply at home and you assume she takes stuff to school but you don't check.
It could easily be your dd at school reception asking for help then, couldn't it.

SeasonsEatings · 12/12/2014 11:43

I had to buy my own too. I remember walking to school so I could use bus fare money for towels. Took about an hour. Sad thing is that I was using a corner shop and they were much more expensive than a supermarket but too young to realise my error.