To have the rage at parents who don't provide sanpro

[Wonc]

Had coffee today with a friend who works as a school secretary at my DC's school and she told me there are a number of parents who think it is the school's responsibility to provide sanitary products.
She said it is always the same girls every month.

WTAF?

I am mortified for these girls. As an introvert, I would have died having to go and ask someone each month for sanpro.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it . She seemed very blasé about it, whereas I can't believe this is a thing.

yes I buy a few packets at a time because some weeks we are hand to mouth......

worra, it's quite hard to use tissue if you either have a heavy flow, or are trying to do PE.

We were talking about our jobs and she was saying she wished she could do more to help these girls.

Well she can.

She can inform a member of the SLT or even the school nurse. They can look into it and inform the parents of what's regularly happening, in case they have no idea.

For all your friend knows, they could be spending their Sanpro money on something else, or there could be an actual problem.

But no-one's going to get to the bottom of it if she doesn't report it to someone more senior.

Well, aren't you lucky to ever be able to buy a few packets at a time, Sunny.

That was never an option for us when I was young.

I don't understand the utter reluctance to accept that people live in poverty.

Bloody hell, I bought sanpro and put it in both DDs schoolbags before they even started JIC, if they had a residential trip, they took a full pack, again JIC.
I would have hated to have to ask at school, I think I would have bunked off and gone home rather than do that, I was so shy.

My DDs have everything at home they could need, in terms of sanpro, and I prepped a small toiletries bag with a few pads and spare underwear in case they need it during school. DD1 wouldn't take this bag, in the bottom of her rucksack, because it would be "humiliating" if her classmates saw it. So by choice she has nothing to use if her period starts at school.

I'm hoping this will change once she actually starts.

It's probably a mix of some girls like my DD, some whose parents see it has school's job, some who can't afford to buy sanpro and some who are just plain disorganized.

YAB a bit U to assume it's all feckless parenting.

oh fgs climbing is this poverty top trumps or something.

All I can see from this thread formerbabe is the OP making wild assumptions that the same parents don't buy sanpro for their DDs, because they think the school should provide it.

The reasons don't really matter because the end result is the same for the girl. Maybe their parents can't afford it, maybe they ignore the situation entirely. I would imagine lots of girls would be embarrassed to say the real reason.

Which is ridiculous because that means the girls would be using nothing at all at home and on the weekends.

Yep that could be the case that they are using toilet paper at home and maybe when they get to school they are relieved that they can get hold of something to use.

If the same girls are getting caught short regularly, they are clearly not 'mortified', otherwise they'd do what most girls I know do and use tissue.

You say it like it is an acceptable thing to do.

Sorry but I think this is rubbish!They presumably use sanpro at home, so why are they not taking a few to put in their school bag ?I assume my DD1 does this-I don't check.Disorganised kids blaming parents I'd say!

toohasty, there was no san pro in my home. My parents didn't buy any. My mother didn't need any, she was post-menopause. She didn't buy any for me as she was a selfish cow with an expensive drinking habit. I was FAR from a disorganised kid. I was more organised than both my (drunken) parents put together. One thing I couldn't organise though, was magic-ing cash to buy sanpro out of thin air. Wake up and join the real world where there are parents who don't give a shit about their children. One time during an extremely heavy period where I had soaked through my clothes I had to come home at lunch time to change. I begged my mother for money for san pro. She ripped a tea towel up, fold it into a long strip and handed it to me with two safety pins and told me to pin that into my knickers.

Please don't accuse me of being a disorganised kid blaming my parent.

You're certainly living up to your nicname and being too hasty on forming your opinions on this one.

Yes, there are a lot of families who were/are that poor.

I'm wondering if food banks provide sanpro, and if there could be a national system for the food banks to provide the schools. Could be based on free school meals.

We had machines in all the girls loos at school, but I think there was a time when I had no money, my best friend was away, and I had no option but to go and ask the secretary. I was anaemic - it plays havoc with organisation skills and memory.

No, it's not.

It's just calling you out on your ridiculous questioning of my mentioning the stark reality of my life, and why I might have asked for sanpro at school reasonably regularly.

cat, you can certainly donate sanpro to foodbanks near me.

Climbing i believe you. Was in similar situation too.

If the same girls are getting caught short regularly, they are clearly not 'mortified', otherwise they'd do what most girls I know do and use tissue.

you're really not getting this worraliberty. What does a kid do when the parents just won't provide? Like mine wouldn't. I WAS mortified. Deeply. I didn't go to the office at school though, because that was also mortifying. They would just give you one then tell you to tell your mum to buy them for you. I resorted to home-made methods. Of which toilet paper and kitchen roll absolutely didn't cut it for the first two days as I had very heavy periods. I had to use rags and safety pins. I had to skip school during PE lessons if the fell on the first or second day of my period. Please don't tell me I wasn't mortified. I am now 30 years older and I am shaking with the sheer mortification of just typing this.

I'm wondering if food banks provide sanpro,

I have some spare (opened packets but individually sealed). I emailed the two main foodback charities a couple of months ago to ask if they would like me to donate them and suggest how to do it and they never bothered to reply.

I am happy to donate but am not chasing here, there and everywhere to give them a couple of quids worth of pads. I suppose I could just put them in the supermarket boxes and hope they can use them?

My friend (we're Mid 30's now) has been buying her own ever since she started aged 11 out of her pocket money because her parents well mainly her mother are cunts.

My folks bought mine with the shopping until I had a part time job. I just had to remember to ask!

Is it just me that hates the term sanpro ?

Yes, food banks provide Sanrio. Ours does anyway.

I volunteer at our local one and it's one of the things we're always crying out for. As well as nappies, and toiletries

It is sad. Sanpro is such big business and I wish it were not.

We still got given the bible at school. They'd be far better off funding a menstrual cup for all the girls.

Right, so....

What has your friend actually done about the situation OP?

If it's the same girls every single month, the school has looked into it right?

I mean just like they'd look into any other issues that might be affecting pupils.

We can all sit here and say it might be due to poverty, poor parenting, disorganised kids, spending the money on something else etc...but that doesn't actually help the girls, does it?

I was so lucky growing up. My mum bought good quality pads, both regular and heavy/night and they were always just in a cloth bag hanging from the radiator in front of the loo. The bag was regularly topped up. She even kept it topped up after she had had her ovaries out and I went to uni! These days I have to provide my own, the bag is now home to tena lady .

Why are some people reluctant to believe that not everyone has enough money to buy essentials like sanpro?

I can't understand it. Is it fear of poverty making people say it's not possible so as to avoid really seeing that it happens?

My mother wasn't the best at providing sanpro, I was lucky to have older sisters, one of whom was working, but we still didn't always have enough. It's very easy to say of course you can buy it, but it's not so easy to use those words as payment in the shop.

I also want to add that poverty wasn't the reason my mother didn't buy sanpro for me. My parents never missed a Friday or Saturday night at the pub during my whole adolescence, and they managed most Sundays at the pub too. They had the money to buy sanpro, without a shadow of a doubt, they just prioritised their drinking habits above providing for their children. I have walked to school in 2 feet of snow with sand shoes on my feet during one of the UKs worst snow filled winters. As a tiny 12 year old girl I was forced to wear a man-size parka coat that came down to my ankles and could have wrapped around me 2 or 3 times. I have worn mis matched socks to school and gone to school mid-winter in blizzards with ankle socks on. My parents simply didn't provide. Period. For anything. But none of the clothing disasters forced upon me come anywhere close to the sheer mortification I felt as a young girl with very heavy periods with no san pro. The lack of san pro was the most embarrassing factor of an embarrassing childhood.