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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is sucking the goodness out of it?

109 replies

Rhymerocket · 12/12/2014 07:36

Tomo night I'm going to an event with a friend. We have planned it since February and the tickets were £100 each so I haven't made any other arrangemts for nights out for Christmas. Tomorrow is it for me we said when we booked it we would go have a couple cocktails and then on to event. I went bought a lovely party dress etc. then about two weeks ago friend starts dropping hints that it's her husbands Christmas dinner on same day. I didn't take the bait just acknowledge dr he comment. Then few dayslatershe says it starts at 2 so he's gonna go early and be home for 6. She has been dropping snips like this for a couple weeks until yesterday she said oh I'm having difficulty getting a babysitter (hers on is a bit of a handful so she always has difficulty getting a sitter. Usually I do it) now she reckons she is gonna drive and pick me up at 8-7:30. Fine drive if u like. But the event starts at 8 and I live at least half an hour away and there is terrible parking there! She's just ruining it before we begin! AIBU to feel she's sucking the fun out of it????

OP posts:
Whippet81 · 12/12/2014 07:41

Yep it's totally out of order - she has already agreed to go to this with you and at £100 a ticket it's not like it's a few drinks at a friends house you can be a bit late for.

Tell her - say do you want to come or not? If not give me your ticket and I'll get someone else to come with me as I'll be really annoyed if this is ruined for me.

When you book things far in advance especially around Christmas it's inevitable that something else will come up on the day but it's tough. Her husband will have to come back really early or miss it if they can't find a sitter.

Original poster
Rhymerocket · 12/12/2014 07:53

That's what I think Whip! I'm so pissed off she text this morning saying
"Don't waste your dress on tonight! Wear jeans we may have to park out of town and walk lol"

Fucking LOL!!!!! Seriously???? I'm gonna ring her after school run. My sis said she would go with me.

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 12/12/2014 07:56

Jeans to a £100 event? Piss take.

I hope you can get her to give your sister the ticket.

ssd · 12/12/2014 07:57

its crap when friends put you lower on their list of priorities than you do them

you're lucky you have a sister to go with you, but where will she get a ticket this late and does she want to go?

lunar1 · 12/12/2014 07:58

Do you have anyone else you could go with and just tell her not to bother.

lunar1 · 12/12/2014 07:59

Sorry missed that bit, can you and your sister afford to buy the ticket off her?

nilbyname · 12/12/2014 08:02

But does she have her own ticket in her possession? Might be tricky to get it off of her?
She is being really selfish and I would be annoyed!

gamerchick · 12/12/2014 08:06

Don't let her drive you.. she's obviously going to drop you in the shit by her husband being too shitfaced to leave with the kids or making you late and the whole thing a rushed night.

Will you be able to get her ticket off her?

SeasonsEatings · 12/12/2014 08:07

She obviously isn't as excited as you. I would offer a get out and your sister take her ticket.

Original poster
Rhymerocket · 12/12/2014 08:07

I booked the tickets so I have them both here. She is a girl who likes to be in control and have the upper hand so I see why she wants to drive however I did tell her months back when she mentioned it I have been here before and the parking is non existent. The nearest car park is a twenty minute walk away! And it's snowing here!!!! I'm dreading confronting her later. It's gonna put a sour note on tonight!

OP posts:
KikitheKitKat · 12/12/2014 08:09

I really hope you get that ticket off your friend and go with your sister. I've been pissed about with like this before but never for a £100 ticket event - I would be furious!

Original poster
Rhymerocket · 12/12/2014 08:10

I said that about her hubby. He's owner of his company And she reckons he has to go as he's host. Spoke to my hub who said same as you guys. Offer her a get out clause. He said he'd buy her ticket so my sis can go. He knows how excited I was.

OP posts:
KikitheKitKat · 12/12/2014 08:18

Maybe you could try "My sister is so desperate to go to this event - pleeeeease can she buy the ticket off you?"
On the other hand this could let your friend get away with thinking she's done you a favour - but still might be preferable to rowing and ruining your evening.

pictish · 12/12/2014 08:21

Yes do. She is pissing on your parade.

Smudgeandpudge · 12/12/2014 08:25

Another one saying she's out of order!

Stealthpolarbear · 12/12/2014 08:28

Yanbu.if she does go it will be a rushed, stressed, half hearted effort on her part

feelingunsupported · 12/12/2014 08:29

You have the tickets so you're in control of what happens to them. If I were you I'd give her a quick ring after the school ring and keep it factual - 'hi, just wanted to check we're sticking to arrangements tonight. We'll need to leave at xx time in a cab as agreed. I'll book the cab'

If she deviates from plans in a way which will definitely negatively affect the night say 'this is not what we agreed and doing it that way will spoil the night. If you can't come as agreed then my sister can take the ticket'

I'd be gutted at having it spoilt at £100 a ticket!

midori1999 · 12/12/2014 08:30

Well until I read your further posts I felt that maybe YWBU as she can't really help it if her husband has dropped her in the shit over a work event. However, if that was the case she would be apologising and trying her best to sort it out, not sending awful texts like she has done.

I think it's probably best to see if you can get the ticket for your sister.

Legodino · 12/12/2014 08:32

She's very rude. Ring her and say you had both organised to meet at x time and have cocktails before and you had planned for it to be a special night. You are not prepared to drive in late and miss part of the performance either.

I do think you should have said something when she mentioned things before though. Something like 'well I definitely want to do the cocktails and dress up so do organise a babysitter'

ChasedByBees · 12/12/2014 08:39

Exactly what feeling unsupported said:

You have the tickets so you're in control of what happens to them. If I were you I'd give her a quick ring after the school ring and keep it factual - 'hi, just wanted to check we're sticking to arrangements tonight. We'll need to leave at xx time in a cab as agreed. I'll book the cab'

If she deviates from plans in a way which will definitely negatively affect the night say 'this is not what we agreed and doing it that way will spoil the night. If you can't come as agreed then my sister can take the ticket'

in my opinion she can't unilaterally change the plan for the night so you'd be fine to sell on her ticket if she's going to do something which will mean you potentially miss the event and miss out on all the preamble planned.

LittleMissRayofHope · 12/12/2014 08:41

So her husband has booked a xmas do for his company on a night his wife is due to be out? I think she probably could have done more at any earlier stage to avoid this problem.

Sounds to me like she got caught up in the whole booking it and planning it etc when she isn't actually that interested but doesn't have the decency to come right out and tell you that.

I would, personally, tell her that your sister is taking the ticket as clearly it's not going to work and your evening will be ruined. If she is a good friend she will understand your point.
Such a shame when grown ups act like children. Just be honest and upfront.
Definitely not UR!

Whippet81 · 12/12/2014 08:43

If her husband is owner of the company surely he should have had some input into the night it was on?

Has she paid you? I'd say I'll take it off your hands for £50 as my sister wasn't planning on spending that much close to Christmas.

MidniteScribbler · 12/12/2014 08:46

She sounds like a pain, but you need to be upfront and stand up for yourself. You've been letting her beat around for a couple of weeks, so just put a stop to it and tell her your sister is going with you instead.

Jackie0 · 12/12/2014 08:52

She's bang out of order.
She should be apologising not sending rude texts.
There's nothing wrong with you saying , " look this isn't going to work is it? I'll buy your ticket and we can do something another time."
Except I would be doing anything beyond a coffee with her again.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 12/12/2014 08:54

If this has been booked since February then she is totally taking the piss. I would definitely take your sister instead. It's bad enough her changing what time you go but orchestrating it so she can even change what you plan to wear would piss me right off.