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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is sucking the goodness out of it?

109 replies

Rhymerocket · 12/12/2014 07:36

Tomo night I'm going to an event with a friend. We have planned it since February and the tickets were £100 each so I haven't made any other arrangemts for nights out for Christmas. Tomorrow is it for me we said when we booked it we would go have a couple cocktails and then on to event. I went bought a lovely party dress etc. then about two weeks ago friend starts dropping hints that it's her husbands Christmas dinner on same day. I didn't take the bait just acknowledge dr he comment. Then few dayslatershe says it starts at 2 so he's gonna go early and be home for 6. She has been dropping snips like this for a couple weeks until yesterday she said oh I'm having difficulty getting a babysitter (hers on is a bit of a handful so she always has difficulty getting a sitter. Usually I do it) now she reckons she is gonna drive and pick me up at 8-7:30. Fine drive if u like. But the event starts at 8 and I live at least half an hour away and there is terrible parking there! She's just ruining it before we begin! AIBU to feel she's sucking the fun out of it????

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 12/12/2014 10:20

Take your sister. Just text her saying you have been really looking forward to it and she seems like she couldn't give two fucks so you're taking someone else better

HellKitty · 12/12/2014 10:25

Text like the poster above suggested. I doubt very much that her DH will be back early enough after a few drinks, yep, good luck with that!

Take your sister and have a blast.

TallulahTwinkletoes · 12/12/2014 10:28

Have you text her yet?

I agree with pp that it could be her husband causing an issue. Perhaps she was equally looking forward to it but now there's a dampener on it and she's still trying to please you

ILovedYouYesterday · 12/12/2014 11:10

I agree you should take your sister.

Sounds like your friend really doesn't want to come anymore but, on some level, doesn't want to let you down so it trying to come up with a way round it.

However, I would put good money on her DH not leaving his party early so, if she hasn't got a babysitter, she's not going to make it anyway.

I would tell her you are taking your sister, don't ask/offer, as she might say she still wants to come, blah blah. I would go with what a shame the events clashed, lets do something another time (but really lets not)

Sounds like she will be relieved.

HappenstanceMarmite · 12/12/2014 12:05

What a selfish mare she is. Like someone else said...offer her £50 (and she's lucky to get that IMO) and take your Sister/wear the finery.

SolidGoldBrass · 12/12/2014 12:45

I'm another one who thinks that if you accept your friend's plans you might end up not going to the event at all - her H will 'go awol' and it will get later and later and then she will text something like 'Hardly worth going now, LOL, never mind'.
I agree with telling her rather than asking her that you are going to go with your sister instead and will arrange something else with friend another time.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 12/12/2014 12:51

She is downgrading your night out and sucking the goodness our of a big night out.

What did you say?

Stealthpolarbear · 12/12/2014 13:01

Hmm good point made by sgb has she actually paid you?

BoredAdminGirl · 12/12/2014 14:07

I once arranged tickets to go and see a band in another town (which my friend lived in). She was dilly dallying.

Ended up sat in a pub on my own after she decided we shouldn't bother going.

Went to pub together, she got pissed and hung out with other people. We dont talk anymore

Bulbasaur · 12/12/2014 16:18

Wow, you guys are nicer than I would be.

I'd take my sister and offer "friend" a take it or leave it on paying her back.

She's hardly in a bargaining position if she doesn't actually have the tickets.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 12/12/2014 16:20

Wonder what the outcome is? Come back OP!

hellsbellsmelons · 12/12/2014 16:25

I want to know what happens too.
Shamelessly place marking!

Queenoftheworld · 12/12/2014 16:29

She is messing with your head. Could you imagine doing that to someone?

Tell her you are going with your sister and accept that the relationship with her may be over as you know it.

pictish · 12/12/2014 16:33

She's out of order. These £100 tickets were bought well in advance in February, and yet somehow the day before it has become all about the friend's dh, and treating the event as an inconvenience that must be strived to accommodate.
I'd be fuming too OP.

pictish · 12/12/2014 16:35

Send this text first...

"I have decided to go with my sister instead, seeing as you are struggling to fit it in"

Then follow it up with another....

"LOL"

foreverdepressed · 12/12/2014 16:46

This would drive me nuts. She is clearly being very unreasonable and doesn't value you much as a friend.

Tell her you are taking your sister and refund her the £100. Have a nice night out on your own terms with your sister.

Queenoftheworld · 12/12/2014 18:02

Tell us how you get on?

AnnieLobeseder · 12/12/2014 18:13

Oh, I would absolutely hate to have to rush about, worrying about being late, not finding parking etc before an event I'd been looking forward to all year. You've had excellent suggestions for texts to send. Though I'd probably lean more towards actually phoning her. But don't back down!!!

PenelopeChipShop · 12/12/2014 18:58

Yeah this is not good! I had a similar thing lately, had tickets booked for the ballet with my mum and DH had known about it for weeks and had it in his blackberry that he had to come home. He left the office just in the nick of time and managed to accidentally get on the wrong train so he was 45 mins later than promised. We missed te beginning of the performance and didn't get to have a glass of wine beforehand which I had been looking forward to.

I was so mad as I couldn't have done more to get things organised for a ONE OFF night which had cost a bit of money, whereas all he has to do is text 'I'm going for a beer' after work and what choice do I have?

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack! I just find that some people really don't give the respect that's due to other people's nights out!!

PenelopeChipShop · 12/12/2014 19:00

Nights out are important, we all need a treat now and again and you've looked forward to this all year, please don't let your friend slowly ruin it with one disaster after another. If you were just having a casual pub dinner it would be fine to say 'I'll see when DH gets home' but for something like this, no way, you need a firm plan and you need one now!!

Malabrigo · 12/12/2014 19:16

Penelope - your DH owes you another night off. If he messes that one up too, keep going til he gets the message.

Hope you have a lovely evening OP.

TallulahTwinkletoes · 12/12/2014 21:11

Hoping OPs lack of posting is because she's having an amazing time with sister or friend...Grin

YaMasYaDaWithAWigOn · 12/12/2014 21:21

It's tomorrow night isn't it? Dying to hear from OP if she's going with her sister instead now.

minibmw2010 · 12/12/2014 21:26

Did you say anything to her?

rollonthesummer · 12/12/2014 21:29

Have you spoken to her?