To think teachers overuse parents

[RichTeas]

I am really starting to wonder about the received wisdom that parental input is crucial for a child's schooling success? Every politician and every teacher (especially in the state sector) repeats this mantra over and over, and clearly some parental teaching is not going to hurt, but is it really an efficient way of doing things? Most of us are not experts, and end up wasting time finding second rate examples or demonstrating old ways of calculating etc.. Not to mention the inevitable arguments from children who don't wish to be taught by parents. Teachers seem quite happy to assign hours of homework at primary with the cheerful reminder of not to spend more than 20 minutes on it, meanwhile in the school they're doing all manner of arts and crafts, dress-up, cooking, while parents get stuck with the boring sit-down learning.

Well you, your child and the school may have well missed out. My DC has progressed so much the Statement is no longer needed, in fact my DC is attaining above the expected age related level in some areas. The school has changed some of their practices, there has been SEN reform, some teachers left / were moved. I have not had to home educate, my DC has benefited from going to a mainstream school within the community we live in. The teacher my DC has now takes a tangible interest in my DC's progress and is encouraging him to flourish.

I think that a parent's main role is to equip a child to be in a position to learn when they are at school. That means teaching them the value of education and reading and also the basic discipline of how to behave in a formal setting. Over and above that, the school should take main responsibility.

Parents should encourage good homework habits and, if they are able, teach their children the principle of a homework. IMO, they should not have to do homework for their children and this should be strongly discouraged.

Equally, parents should not overstress their children about school and homework. There should be room for FUN in a young person's life and, for some, this is really missing.

Balance in all things: the school needs to do their bit and parents need to contribute their fair share. It should be a partnership.

WTF, capsium?

All that happened and yet you still talk about teachers as if they're the enemy?

Suburban I don't treat my DC's teachers like they are the enemy, though.I simply don't feel I have to behave in deference to them. If I feel there is the need to question or reproach, I will. If I feel parents might get a raw deal in certain situations, I might well say it. If I don't see the value in certain educational practices, I might well speak about this too. However, I have also volunteered, supported the school, donated to the school and bought teachers gifts and praised my DC's teachers on occasions.

Are you a teacher?

Teachers certainly aren't the enemy. But I've seen on here the idea that they are beyond reproach or question because 'they are the professionals', and parents should know their place. That is nonsense. No professional of any stripe gets deference by default in my book, only if they are competent! And as an educated adult, I reserve full rights to make that judgement.

No, I'm not a teacher, not that it makes any difference whatsoever

Out of interest, do you work in a school, though, SuburbanReindeer?

Am I missing something here? Why would you not want to help your child be the best they can be?

Is there too much exciting stuff on TV for you to stop and take just 15 or 20 mins out of 24 hours to read with your child or learn something?

Parents lean on teachers way too much. Some parents at my OH's school turn up late (hey it's free child care!), send them without correct lunch, uniform missing and without basic reading skills.

Parents need to take back responsibility for their children.

YOU are their role model, YOU are the ones that brought them here and YOU must take some responsibility for their education.

Just a small amount of reading each day makes a massive improvement in their spelling, grammar and of course reading.

Before anyone pipes up, I have a job which requires me to be out of the house from 7am until 6:30pm every single week day, I have two children and I can still find time.

Stop being selfish, the only people you are hurting is your children.

There is a difference between helping and being used or over used, Number. If you read through my past posts and other peoples you will see that we have helped and want to help our children. However this should be on our own terms, utilising what we are each individually good at and not necessarily dictated by a school.

I have been highly involved in my DC's education, read my previous posts and you will clearly see just how deeply involved, but I myself had the advantage of having a 'heads up', so to speak as I have a degree in English and Education and have been a SAHP. Other people do not have the same advantages, so might, if they found themselves in the same situation, have found it difficult to be so involved - which if they are relied upon so heavily, shows up the inequality present within our education system.

Capsium I don't remember referring anything to any of your posts, but hey it seems to have made you think it relates to you for some reason.

Read my post again - take just 15 or 20 mins out of 24 hours to read with your child or learn

It would help if you did have an appreciation of mine and other posters posts, on this thread, though, Number. Simply because you are preaching to the converted, to a large degree. My child was a fluent reader on school entry. However reading is not all about practice, some children do not learn in the same way and need to be actively taught. What parents are concerned about is teachers delegating this responsibility to effectively teach elsewhere - largely untrained volunteers within schools, largely untrained parents and other relatives within the home.

Added to this, being familiar with the pedagogy, can leave a parent still with disadvantage when those within the teaching profession act extremely defensively, in the sheer frustration caused when trying to diplomatically ask questions concerning their child's progress and the teaching received.

It would help if you did have an appreciation of mine and other posters posts, on this thread, though, Number

Sorry, I didn't realise you were the OP.

You seem to have turned this in to being a post about your situation, rather than what the OP originally outlined?

When you're fortunate enough to send your children to a school where 90% of the parents are actively interested in their child's education, then I think it makes sense for the school to leverage that advantage by involving parents in their child's education e.g. through reading together, learning spellings and times tables, discussing what they're doing in the classroom.

Just be thankful your children don't go to a school similar to where my sister teaches which parents treat as a babysitting service for kids they don't care about. At her school they have to toilet train at least 5 non-SEN reception children each year, they provide breakfast and lunch otherwise the children don't get fed, they introduce children to cutlery, holding a knife and fork, even eating off a plate for some children, they have children who are years behind in language skills because their parents just don't talk to them - they only ever issue instructions or shout. This is the state of some schools in the country and whilst I can't imagine many are this severe, they certainly represent the attitude a whole lot of parents have towards schools - it's not my job, the teacher should do it.

KnittingChristmasJumpers

My children went to a school in South East London where they provided free breakfast and lunch and snacks during the day.

When I asked why I was advised that up to HALF of the children were arriving at school without being fed first.

Absolutely disgusting.

The attitude that teachers should take responsibility is absolutely shocking.

They follow a curriculum.

Children should be assisted at home by parents, that is our job.

If you do not have 'time' to help your child, then you shouldn't have had them in the first place. End of.

There are many complex reasons why one parent may be less able to support their child in their education than another. Poverty, working long hours, health issues, providing long term care for a relative, having additional needs themselves are just a few of these reasons.

This is why I believe schools and teachers should take more responsibility for teaching the whole of the curriculum because relying on parents simply fosters further inequality. Because it is not solely about demographics either, these issues occur outside of claiming benefits, schemes like Pupil Premium do not not really go far enough in tacking inequality.

Regarding continence, many children cannot be fully toilet trained on school entry or can have short or long term conditions which can effect continence, which whilst being an SN is not necessarily a SEN. This organisation has more info:

www.eric.org.uk/

There are many complex reasons why one parent may be less able to support their child in their education than another. Poverty, working long hours, health issues, providing long term care for a relative, having additional needs themselves are just a few of these reasons.

Your child should be your priority.
15 minutes a day. Everyone has that.

number I post and continue to post, simply because my experiences are relevant to the OP's question and are also representative of a significant proportion of parent's experiences of primary schools.

It appears you seem to think I should remain silent.....

However if the status quo was never questioned things would never change for the better.

It appears you seem to think I should remain silent.....

Absolutely not at all - your situation seems highly different from that of which OP started the thread.

Quote: 'Teachers seem quite happy to assign hours of homework at primary with the cheerful reminder of not to spend more than 20 minutes on it, meanwhile in the school they're doing all manner of arts and crafts, dress-up, cooking, while parents get stuck with the boring sit-down learning'

My child is my priority. Other people also put their child first but may be less able to effectively teach them (which is what is happening) at home.

Teachers and schools are trained, paid and accountable to teach. Parents are not.

I agree with the quote, Number. I have experienced a degree of this also. Also if homework is taking to long, the teaching has not been effective, somewhere along the line.

Have you read the whole thread Number? I mentioned this type of issue earlier, myself, as did others.

Teachers and schools are trained, paid and accountable to teach. Parents are not.

Ok lets flip this theory.

I spend time with my children learning, my children are exceptionally bright (my son was SEN until year 3 but after lots of hard work is now 'Significantly above average'). I spend time with my children doing their homework and reading.

I have a full time job, I am a single parent (OH is not said children's father)

Why should my children have less time spent with them because other children are falling behind because their parents do not do to the same?

Where is the equality in that system?

Why should my children have less time spent with them because other children are not being fed basic rations such a BREAKFAST and the teachers are left to act as carers?

If children have genuine learning difficulties then that is a separate issue. We are talking here about parents who cannot be arsed to spend just 15-20 minutes a day reading and assisting with their own child's future?

What does that say?

I understand that some children have continence issues - this was certainly not the case with the NT children at my sister's school (there were also some SEN children still with toilet issues).

These children would arrive at school (frequently late) in their night nappies and expect TAs to deal with it. Having come from a lower-middle class / working class background myself I thought I'd seen what "poor kids" looked like - perhaps not fed a fully balanced diet, wearing non-standard uniform but not actually neglected. I hadn't believed that such parents existed that they couldn't be bothered to feed their kids or talk to them. It honestly baffles me that her 90% class weren't taken into care by SS - they were nearly all known to them.

Also if homework is taking to long, the teaching has not been effective, somewhere along the line.

Really? Or perhaps the child has not been listening.
Or perhaps the child was hungry and couldn't think about what they were hearing, or perhaps they still haven't caught up from the last batch of homework which no one bothered to help them with?