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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think teachers overuse parents

214 replies

RichTeas · 08/12/2014 13:09

I am really starting to wonder about the received wisdom that parental input is crucial for a child's schooling success? Every politician and every teacher (especially in the state sector) repeats this mantra over and over, and clearly some parental teaching is not going to hurt, but is it really an efficient way of doing things? Most of us are not experts, and end up wasting time finding second rate examples or demonstrating old ways of calculating etc.. Not to mention the inevitable arguments from children who don't wish to be taught by parents. Teachers seem quite happy to assign hours of homework at primary with the cheerful reminder of not to spend more than 20 minutes on it, meanwhile in the school they're doing all manner of arts and crafts, dress-up, cooking, while parents get stuck with the boring sit-down learning.

OP posts:
3bunnies · 08/12/2014 14:00

Having spent ages trying to help dd1 to calculate improper and complex fractions for homework it does then seem somewhat frustrating when she announces that she is looking forward to a whole afternoon of craft today. We did craft and maths yesterday, I would rather have spent the whole of the time doing craft than try to teach her maths knowing that she could have been taught about it at school today. I do prefer the maths homework though to the create a model of a winter fayre on the Thames complete with scale model of the old London Bridge style ones.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:04

Yes bunnies we have had educational games to be made at home, to be played with at school. Parties and 'fun' afternoons at school, maths, English grammar and reading for homework. Watch a film at school....piece of writing at home.....

Millionprammiles · 08/12/2014 14:05

Whether its efficient or not who knows but one things for certain, it isn't a fair system and it does nothing to promote equality or social mobility.

The child of uneducated parents will continue to struggle as they don't have the benefit of help with their homework. They might be fed, clothed, loved, disciplined etc. But they're going to be struggling with their maths homework on their own, unlike many others in their class.

DazzleU · 08/12/2014 14:05

It doesn't help parents think different things are good for homework.

Spelling list sent home are a real bane for us.

They are a bad way for poor spellers to learn spelling - have little long term endurance and often don't crop up in writing. Yet if they don't get above a certain mark they lose play time - and it further demoralises them.

So I have to find time to do this kind of home work - while also finding time to do comprehension spelling programs like apple and pears in our own time - as these are likely to improve general spelling cropping up in writing.

Parents of natural good spellers tend to go on thinking these lists are a agood way to learn how to spell and want more homework like it.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:05

It is indeed topsy turvy. I would like to do the fun Cultural Enrichment stuff at home and leave the school to do the academic stuff. It is what they are trained, paid and accountable for...

PenelopePitstops · 08/12/2014 14:06

Dazzleu I stand corrected the research was at secondary level.

Interesting TAs came off worst as being high cost for little impact on measurable progress in pupils. (i know this misses the point of the relationships, social skills etc that TAs are great at).

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 08/12/2014 14:10

I would like to do the fun Cultural Enrichment stuff at home

Yes, but lots of kids don't get to do the 'fun' stuff at home either.

aermingers · 08/12/2014 14:10

This thread is depressing. If your kid can't do their homework sit down with them and go through it and see if you can help them understand it better to do it themselves. It's not 'wrongly set', they just need to learn what the homework is asking them to do and a parent can support that.

Really, the fact that people get annoyed by being asked to put a small amount of time into supporting their child's learning makes me wonder why they bothered having kids.

I work in adult education and we see people every day who can't read and write or do basic maths and normally this is a result of living in homes where learning was not valued or supported. It really is depressing people see helping their child learn as some kind of imposition on them. Poor kids.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:10

Our experience of TAs has been variable. When teachers leave teaching to TAs (one year the CT couldn't answer questions concerning my DC's progress during a scheduled meeting) usually described a small group work I believe the quality of teaching can suffer. Teachers do really need to be 'hands on', IMO, to properly assess and extend learning.

BarbarianMum · 08/12/2014 14:10
capsium · 08/12/2014 14:12

Never

Yes, but lots of kids don't get to do the 'fun' stuff at home either

After school clubs, funded by the Pupil Premium, could fill in the gaps here.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:15

aer it is not a small amount of time for some parents. As I have said up thread, my DC was only offered part time schooling for nearly a whole school year, due to SEN. This was even though there was funding, through a Statement, for full time 1 to 1 support. I did not realise this is effectively illegal exclusion at the time...I still hear of this happening on here though.

MrsDeVere · 08/12/2014 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GooseyLoosey · 08/12/2014 14:26

Actually at the moment I am finding that the schools do expect a huge amount from us as parents and not really in terms of academic input, just my time.

Endless craft projects at home - make an island showing all of the contours, make a medieval siege engine, re-create a book or play in a biscuit tin, make a model of a blood cell to name but four this term so far. Although the dcs can do them it requires my time and effort to come up with raw materials to do this (without spending a fortune).

Dd has to go into school tonight in a black top with a reindeer on. She does not have one so I spent about an hour at the weekend painting one on in fabric paints.

Ds has a cake day at school this week to which he is supposed to take home-made cakes. So somewhere I have to find the time to do that.

It goes on.

BackforGood · 08/12/2014 14:26

I don't recognise the description of any of the schools my 3 dc have been through either.

I think the OP has led a very sheltered life if she thinks that there is only a very tiny number of dc who live in homes where there are no boundaries, no heating, often no suitable food, where no-one listens to the children or talks with them, or reads them a story, or takes time to play with them or take them to nice places and who explains things to them, and makes sure they don't see unsuitable content on films or games or in real life.

Parental input, to my mind, is about doing all the things that should happen at home, nothing to do with "homework" from school.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:34

I think the OP has led a very sheltered life if she thinks that there is only a very tiny number of dc who live in homes where there are no boundaries, no heating, often no suitable food, where no-one listens to the children or talks with them, or reads them a story, or takes time to play with them or take them to nice places and who explains things to them, and makes sure they don't see unsuitable content on films or games or in real life

All the more reason for schools to take full responsibility for teaching the whole of the curriculum then Back and not leave the academic learning to be done at home, with parents, in the form of homework.

DazzleU · 08/12/2014 14:40

Parental input, to my mind, is about doing all the things that should happen at home, nothing to do with "homework" from school.

True - but time is limited.

The time I spend on the academic support for my 3 DC - it's time I'm not spending doing other input stuff that might well be more fun for all of us.

In my case it's not so much the homework being set though that need time - it's finding the time for additional support they need for problem areas - areas even the school are concerned about but at best can provide limited support.

BackforGood · 08/12/2014 14:41

IME, they do.
The parental input asked for - as has been said upthread, is putting them to bed at a reasonable time in the evening, having not watched anything horrific, and then getting them up in time, feeding them a decent breakfast, and getting them to school on time. Sadly, this seems to be beyond a considerable number of parents.
Many schools spend an awful lot of time supporting those parents that can't even manage this, through Children in Need plan meetings fCAFs, Child protection conferences, parenting support mentors, etc.,etc. and then the children through pastoral support, behaviour mentors, etc.

Obviously, I know not all children who need this support come from homes where parents don't do the job of parenting, there is a myriad of reasons, before someone jumps on that, but, many of the children whose parents don't do their job, then do take an awful lot of time and energy from the schools who put that support in for them.

DazzleU · 08/12/2014 14:42

Mind you the reason so much is pushed back to parents is limited time and resources in school.

So I don't have answer.

PenelopePitstops · 08/12/2014 14:44

Mrs I was rather implying that a mc bubble often hides lack of parental engagement. Of course not all wc parents have a sense of entitlement and you rightly say that mc parents can be worse.

I was shocked that the op hadn't seen a lack of engagement with school before.

As for school taking all responsibility, that will make the entitlement issue worse. A shift in attitude is needed in society about the purpose of school. It is not to teach your child everything, parents need to take responsibility as well.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:45

The parental input asked for - as has been said upthread, is putting them to bed at a reasonable time in the evening, having not watched anything horrific, and then getting them up in time, feeding them a decent breakfast, and getting them to school on time. Sadly, this seems to be beyond a considerable number of parents.
Many schools spend an awful lot of time supporting those parents that can't even manage this, through Children in Need plan meetings fCAFs, Child protection conferences, parenting support mentors, etc.,etc. and then the children through pastoral support, behaviour mentors, etc.

This type of input is assumed / expected. It is not even 'asked' for. It is not what the OP is talking about.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:49

A shift in attitude is needed in society about the purpose of school.

I believe it is. Schools need to be more accountable for teaching the whole of the curriculum, especially when there are additional needs. All too often there is the attitude that because a child had needs that are even only slightly different to the norm that they cannot achieve. Often all that is needed is proper differentiation, reasonable adjustments that do not even cost very much.

sashh · 08/12/2014 14:52

Last term I was teaching, amongst others, a 16 year old living on her own because she had just left care.

She is bright and a hard worker, but some days when her flat was cold she found it difficult to get out of bed let alone get in to VI form.

Her flat was a magnet at the weekend for anyone who wanted to get away from a nagging parent.

She will do OK, but if she had someone there to make the odd cup of tea, tell her to get out of bed and send her friends home at the weekend she would do very well.

If she had a parental home to leave she would be looking at universities in different parts of the country, not looking in to how long it takes on a bus/train to get to the local ones.

OP you should not be teaching, if a child does not understand then, depending on age, put a note in their book or tell them to ask the teacher.

As others have said, getting your children fed, watered, in to bed at a reasonable time is the kind of support all children deserve and not all get.

capsium · 08/12/2014 14:55

As others have said, getting your children fed, watered, in to bed at a reasonable time is the kind of support all children deserve and not all get.

If this is all the OP was talking about do you think she would have flagged up, the amount of parental input required, as a concern?

Waitingonasunnyday · 08/12/2014 15:00

Its the maths homework that gets me. DS claims not to know how to do it, I show him 'my way', he doesn't recognise it, we dig out the school maths policy and he doesn't recognise that way either. I google it and he doesn't recognise that. I lose the will to live and he somehow gets it...

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