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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to need to talk about sex

158 replies

batmanandrobin · 07/12/2014 22:30

my DH and i have always had a great sex life- very active and very give and take.

tonight however i pulled my feeding bra down, he did his thing with my tits and then we rolled over onto our separate parts of the bed and he's now snoring.

what?! what has just happened.. is unsexy sex normal? we're only just knocking on 30s door so i don't feel old and tired yet.

reassurance? or a big fat cyber slap? TIA

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 07/12/2014 22:50

Do you have a Breast Bucket, as opposed to a Penis Beaker? Grin

NoArmaniNoPunani · 07/12/2014 22:50

I've done some pretty kinky stuff in my life but never a tit wank. I'm not even sure what to do

FelixFelix · 07/12/2014 22:50

I didn't even realise people really did tit wanks in real life. Thought it was just one of those mythical sex acts that never actually happen.

TimelyNameChangey · 07/12/2014 22:51

Armani tit wanks aren't kinky! They're very vanilla really. No more exotic than a bj.

AnythingNotEverything · 07/12/2014 22:52

I was about today exactly the same thing Felix.

AnythingNotEverything · 07/12/2014 22:52

*to say

In too much shock to type accurately.

Original poster
batmanandrobin · 07/12/2014 22:54

MrsSch it's like you're a fly on the wall in my house tonight ????

i am led here overwhelmed to be honest. im giggling so much to myself he woke and i shared my mumsnet news and he was quite amused. specifically by the pp's partner who claimed it was better than nothing.

can't imagine ever seeing his cock in the same way again ????

OP posts:
TimelyNameChangey · 07/12/2014 22:54
Grin

Anything bless you.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 07/12/2014 22:55

Armani tit wanks aren't kinky! They're very vanilla really. No more exotic than a bj.

It's all relative though isn't it? When you've done all the whips and chains and orgies stuff but never a tit wank it can seem rather exotic.

TimelyNameChangey · 07/12/2014 22:57

Armani yes but you said you'd done "some pretty kinky stuff" so what would you class as kinky!? Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2014 22:57

I have to say I'd rather do chains or outside sex than blow jobs

Bleurgh to blow jobs, can't believe people do it at all Confused

Original poster
batmanandrobin · 07/12/2014 22:57

it's the sort of thing you offer when he's desperate and you don't even have the energy to shake your hand back and forth because you've been carrying round your 17lb baby all afternoon as she's teething!

OP posts:
MsMarvel · 07/12/2014 22:57

How old is baby? Has it been a while since you've both had a chance to be 'sexy'?

When dp is hungover we either have sex or I give him a blow job. It's usually unsexy because it's just a cure for his hangover, and we are in our 20s. I wouldn't pay much attention to it as a one off but talk to him tomorrow if you were unhappy with it. Communication is key.

Original poster
batmanandrobin · 07/12/2014 22:58

and there's no exotic position to give a titwank. you either have a cock prodding very close to your mouth along with two very squished boobies that are mid lactation, or a mans asshole and balls in your nose!

????????????

OP posts:
Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 07/12/2014 22:58

I suggest an urgent purchase of Bonjela - the thought of feeding a DC after a Titwank is quite beyond me!!!

MsMarvel · 07/12/2014 22:59

I've done tit wanks before but never till completion. We normally have sex before that point.

Viviennemary · 07/12/2014 22:59

It has to be said that it doesn't sound very Mills & Boon. But real life seldom is. I'd just forget about tonight and start again tomorrow.

FayKorgasm · 07/12/2014 23:00

I looked down once during a titwank.
Ugliest thing I have ever seen, the top of his knob coming at me like that.

Original poster
batmanandrobin · 07/12/2014 23:01

baby is 6months. our sex life is back and he's not complained there's a lack of inter course. surprisingly i feel sexier after having a baby as i grew some hips when pregnant!

it's just been his birthday so im a bit blow jobbed out. and so is my mouth.

wow this is the most embarressing thread ever started. glad ive amused some mumsnetters on a late sunday night however !!

OP posts:
MoonAndBackAgain · 07/12/2014 23:01

You gave titwank to your DH and you're Breastfeeding?

That's so wrong in my opinion Confused

TheFairyCaravan · 07/12/2014 23:01

Whoever said romance is dead was obviously lying!

Pasithea · 07/12/2014 23:01

Ok stop there. Oh to have tits big enough you lucky lot. Some of us can't even resort to that option on a bad night.

Tinks42 · 07/12/2014 23:03

ummmm, ok.... very weird.

PrincessOfThemyscira · 07/12/2014 23:05

Crikey! I've not done a titwank since I was in my teens!

Apparently, if you scoop up cock and balls on top of your cleavage it's called "Fruits in a Basket"...

Quiero · 07/12/2014 23:05

I wish you could see my face. I appear to have found a new expression that I didn't know I could do.

Why are you telling us this?