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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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I just got punched. in front of my three and four year old.

310 replies

Faultysingledad · 07/12/2014 15:24

I'll start at the beginning. I popped to the supermarket to buy some bits and bobs for a meal that me and my boys are preparing for some family visitors tonight. I had my boys with me as I'm a single dad. We went in and got the boys and bobs that we needed. My lads are good, but we're starting to get a little bit fractious towards the end, as it was pre Christmas busy. We went back to the car and loaded up. No issues. As I was driving out, I realised that I'd forgotten the cream for making my potato gratin. No big deal, we spun round parked up again and I started to get the lads out. They didn't want to go in again. No problem. They are good lads and obedient, and understand the meaning of a promise. I asked them if they would like to stay in the car whilst I ran in to the shop. They eagerly agreed. I told them that they must stay in their seats, and that they could read their books or play with their toys. They are both sticklers for rules, so I had every confidence that this is what would happen for the couple of minutes that I would be out of sight. So car alarm internal sensors deactivated, doors deadlocked and kids happy, that's what happened. And when I returned 2-3 minutes later, that's exactly how I found them, happily reading books to each other. Everything was fine, until some bloke came and angrily pulled open my door and started yelling at me. Now I KNOW that this is a controversial subject, and that lots of people would have condemned my actions as neglectful, but respectfully, that's their opinion, which isn't born out by facts or law. I'm a fairly thoughtful bloke, but I've got some quite strong opinions about this nanny state, risk averse society that is increasingly prevalent. I've already considered this whole issue, and I'm very aware that this is an issue that has been done to death on mumsnet, and I'm also aware that my opinion is against the majority opinion these days. Anyway, I digress. The bloke that opened my car door was aggressive and shouty. I didn't get a chance to put my thoughts about risks vs benefits, or the fact that more kids get run over and killed in busy car parks than get abducted from cars, or that it was my parenting decision and none of his business, I just told him to go away. He said he was going to call the police, I said be my guest, I'd done nothing illegal. I told him to go away again, he punched me. My kids were screaming in fear at this point. It was all a bit of a blur to be honest. Shortly afterwards I managed to get my door shut and drive away.

My problem is, I don't know what to do now. Normally it would obviously be to report it to the police, but to be honest, I can't be doing with all the hand wringing and questions asked about my parenting. I should imagine that there's quite a risk that the police would report me to social services at the very least, and I don't need the stree, even though I would wholeheartedly defend my decision making process. Plus, I have no idea of this blokes identity.

Should I just chalk it up to experience and try to forget about it? That's my current plan, but I'm always inclined to bury my head in the sand about stuff anyway, and it's not always the best course of action. The most distressing thing about the whole thing is that it's obviously deeply upset my boys, who keep asking about the 'horrible man.'

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Delarosa · 07/12/2014 17:42

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atoughyear · 07/12/2014 17:44

This thread is so out of hand. Is there a full moon tonight because people are seriously angry.
I can't believe anybody would come on here and (a) question somebody's account of how long it took them to pop into a supermarket because it takes them longer to pop into their local shop;
(b) advise that the Police would not be interested in persuing a complaint of an unprovoked assault which took place in front of a three and four year old.

Oh, and anybody who disagrees with these posters is thick and doesn't live in the real world. I give up.

Nancy66 · 07/12/2014 17:44

why do you assume everyone is fat? V. strange !

Delarosa · 07/12/2014 17:44

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Fairenuff · 07/12/2014 17:45

OP sorry that someone is trying to derail your thread. Hang in there and normality will be resumed. Hopefully.

Tobyjugg · 07/12/2014 17:45

Chalk it up to experience and shop elsewhere in future.

Fairenuff · 07/12/2014 17:46

Where have I bullied anyone Delarosa. I'm on OP's side here, I don't think he will be prosecuted for neglect.

needastrongone · 07/12/2014 17:46

soon - did the OP 'abandon' his DC though?

Blu · 07/12/2014 17:46

OP, really sorry this happened to you and your kids. Frightening and horrible.

Truly, this man needs reporting. If anyone has anything to say abut leaving the kids in the car, let them say it: no harm was done and I do not think you committed a criminal act or one that SS will be remotely interested in.

And in any case going round punching people is not a way to deal with things. Anxiety that you may be judged whist reporting a crime...well victim blaming isn't a popular concept on Mn.....

Good luck OP, I hope you and your kids are OK

PossumPoo · 07/12/2014 17:47

Dela, a little bit of anger issues there you really should look into sorting. Unless you were the one who punched OP why are you emotionally investing so much in this thread?!

And people judge, it's society's way of keeping everyone in check. A little bit of non - sanctimonious judgement is good.

WillkommenBienvenue · 07/12/2014 17:48

It took a MAXIMUM of five minutes; straight in, knew where I was going, self serve checkout, out. Probably less than four.

That is irrelevant OP, it's not about what happened it's about what might have happened, not only to them, but to you. You could have slipped on a grape and been knocked unconscious, got electrocuted by the self service machine, been knifed by a loon, had a stroke or a heart attack. Then what? At least when you're with them if something happens your children are taken care of.

It's why most parents find life such a struggle, they have to be everywhere all the time. It's hard but it's something you have to do.

Don't report it because it will just get you into more trouble. Chances are this guy took a pop at you precisely because he knew you wouldn't be able to report it. He's a twat of course, but you just have to play by the rules until your children are old enough.

To the police you will have risked your children's lives for the sake of a potato gratin, that's what it looks like here anyway, you can't have everything I'm afraid, being a parent is about compromise.

And foolish to take children out to the supermarket on a December Sunday. I guess you live and learn?

ilovesooty · 07/12/2014 17:48

I'm sure Olivia will get things back on track.

DixieNormas · 07/12/2014 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

atoughyear · 07/12/2014 17:52

Why is it foolish to take his Dc to a supermarket on a Sunday in December? Just when I thought the thread couldn't get weirder!

ChocolateBiscuitCake · 07/12/2014 17:54

I have always left my kids in the car within eyeshot eg petrol station, local high street etc whilst I run in for something (3 under 6 does not make for anything quick!) so I completely sympathise with the OP.

However...

Last week a child was subject to an attempted abduction from a car in a busy (think christmas!) car park in Southampton (west quay), which goes to show it does happen. There are some serious weirdos on our streets.

It has made me reassess how relaxed I had become.

MrsBertMacklin · 07/12/2014 17:54

'risked your children's lives for the sake of a potato gratin'

Grin
MrsBertMacklin · 07/12/2014 17:55

I'd love a potato gratin for dinner. Normally do with ham for Boxing Day.

SoonToBeSix · 07/12/2014 17:55

Need yes for that period of time.

WillkommenBienvenue · 07/12/2014 17:55

Well that's how the Daily Mail will sum it up :)

SoleSource · 07/12/2014 17:56

YANBU I wouldn't get Police involved because of the Social Services.

SoonToBeSix · 07/12/2014 17:57

I don't agree with the op , however I have never heard of anyone bring electrocuted by the self service machine. Sorry but that made me laugh out loud.

Fairenuff · 07/12/2014 17:57

slipped on a grape and been knocked unconscious

Grin
DixieNormas · 07/12/2014 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 07/12/2014 17:57

I never knew Tescos was so dangerous.

Grin
MrsBertMacklin · 07/12/2014 17:58

Don't joke about being knocked out by a grape, I've seen it happen. Everyone thinks it's banana skins you need to look out for, they're wrong.

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