To wish my husband was less of a faffer?

[LennyCrabsticks]

Like now for eg. I'm sitting down with a glass of wine and his job is to bath the littlest child.

He's been preparing for twenty minutes now. He's been to the loo. He's looked for a towel. He's asked where the clean flannels are. In a minute I expect he'll actually run the bath. Meanwhile dc3 is bouncing around the living room spoiling my relaxing wine and TV time generally being not bathed and in bed.

He's the same with everything. There is no such thing as a quick job. He cooks the evening meal everyday and it takes him so long that he doesn't get much else done in the time between the end of school and dinner time. If he ever washes up (if I've cooked) it takes him over an hour. We have a dishwasher. I asked him to check the online banking the other day and by the time he'd finally fired up the laptop, been to the loo, put some music on and made a coffee before sitting down to log in, I'd done it on my phone. And then he got all huffy.

Is there anyway of training him out of faffiness? Or is it a trait I have to live with forever?

I know a faffer. This is how getting out of the house usually goes...

Check all windows and external (that hadn't at any time been opened that day) are shut

Close all blinds in the entire house

Close all internal doors

Coat on

Search for keys/phone/wallet etc

Alarm on

Leave

Lock door

Practicelly swing on door handle to check lockedness

Go to car

Pull wing mirrors out

Go back to house

Open up

Check things (windows might have been left open or something)

Alarm back on, lock up, door handle swinging

Into car

Coat off

Adjust all mirrors (nobody else drives the bloody thing!!!!!!)

Fiddle around in glove box

Flick through radio stations

Finally set off

Arrive

Coat back on

Wing mirrors back in

Lock car

Walk away

Return to car to check doors locked

Fuckfuckingsake!!!

He cooks your evening meal every night?

That makes me feel like weeping. I can count on two hands the number of times over the past fourteen years my DH has cooked a meal for us. And four out of five of those times are eggs and pasta or a special sort of savoury pancake from his home country. Yes, I can only remember him trying to cook a proper meal from a recipe once.. and he's never tried anything really special for me or the kids. When faced with cooking, he'll usually order out.

I wouldn't mind a bit of faffiness if the heart is there in it...

Yep DP does the pacing round the room when getting ready thing too, in fact when doing anything, if he's cooking (and by cooking I mean making toast) he looks in every cupboard, the fridge about 5 times and just generally has a wander round the kitchen while it cooks doing nothing particularly important, then will make drinks/get the other stuff out (yoghurts, fruit whatever) after he's buttered the toast instead of while it was cooking - in whose mind does that make sense?! ... Can you tell he made breakfast this morning?

Mine too! Also add to the mix a 20 min poo break mid activity and little jobs take hours!!!

I think my DH must have many wives . So glad I'm not alone.

Y to the waiting until we are leaving before going to the loo. Y to the non-jobs. Y to the pacing.

Mine also likes to just stand. Usually in the narrowest part of the hall, or in front of the fridge. I move him and he just stands somewhere else.

I've recently cured him of his favourite habit. The days he isn't working he's in charge of making DD breakfast. He'd taken to going downstairs and then loading the dishwasher first, then making tea (note can't do at the same time), then starting to sort her breakfast. By now it would be 8.15 and we leave at 8.25. DD is also a faffer and takes a good 20 mins to eat...

He still mutters that he's "not allowed" to do the dishwasher, but surprisingly can't manage to do it in the 6 hours that DD is at school and I'm at work. It has to be that 10 minutes in the morning .

I'd just like to post n favour of forearms.

Especially when along-sleeved shirt has been rolled up to just below the elbow.

Dh is in charge of breakfast today. Unsurprisingly no one has been fed yet. I can hear drawers and cupboards in kitchen being opened and shut and yet more pacing. I expect he has looked in the fridge at least 5 times, I have no idea what he expects to find . Is he hoping for food to materialise out of the fridge and make its way onto the table by teleporting it with the power of his eyes?

My husband is also a total faffer. Drives me insane. Two and a half years ago, he started painting the woodwork to the living room and stairs (after I did the walls and most of the rest of it). I'm still waiting for him to finish that task.

At 9:30 this morning, he said he'd make a cup of tea. In that time he's picked up and put down the iPad three times, picked up (but didn't put on) his jeans to wear and still no cup of tea!

But Talullah I agree the most frustrating thing is when he says he's not 'allowed'. There is no allowed - he's a grown man ffs! For example, a few years back we went to a party with my friends, he didn't really know anyone and didn't really want to go. So I said okay, we'd stay for an hour (to the point when food was being served and then leave). So we stayed the hour and then when food was being served, went to make our excuses and a friend offered DH food. He said that I had told him he wasn't allowed to eat! Ffs, I never said that I was facilitating his desire to not stay very long. Whenever he has something he doesn't want to do, he always blames it on me the sod.

Eurgh..... This could be my DH. As with many he has a very responsible job. He was in the army for fucksake - led men into battle, made very important decisions but can't dress DS or find his fucking phone or wallet ever... It's like he gets home and the brain gets switched off.

I have noticed one thing though. He is considerably less faffy when it's something he actually wants to do, as opposed to something I've asked him to do.

It gives me the rage

Talulah I'm dying at your husband likes to stand mines a wanderer, just casually strolls around the house getting in my way, I've been known to take him by the shoulders and redirect him and he hasn't noticed, clearly doesn't care of the direction just likes to wander

My DP has taken faffing to a new level - he's been renovating a one bedroom flat for ELEVEN MONTHS!

Everything takes sooooo loooong!! I know renovations do, but he would come back saying things like "I just walked around the flat for two hours, looking at everything working out what to do next"

He has insisted on doing the vast bulk of it himself, despite a successfully developing freelance career and no building experience. He researches every tiny detail for days and at no point in the whole process has he made anything even remotely resembling a plan or schedule (I have dragged him to the ipad calander a few times and tried to make him map tasks out, but he never updates it or even tries to stick to it, so within a week the plan becomes 'dead')

He called me at 10pm last night to ask me about kitchens. I've had all the fricking conversations I EVER want to have about kitchens. Now, whenever he asks me what the cabinets/skirting board/light fittings should be like, my only answer is "Finished."

Oh god ladies, I love him but I want to kill him!!

It's the lack of multitasking!
Making quick post work curry

1. boil kettle
2. defrost meat in microwave
3. pour water over rice
4. do the rest

DP forgets that rices isn't pasta and putting it on after the curry is cooked is a pain in the arse.

I can count on two hands the number of times over the past fourteen years my DH has cooked a meal for us.

Dear God, can such things be? DM, God grant she lie still, made absolute sure that her sons

You are all married to Kevin the Teenager, and I claim my £5

Arrgh! ...were not Burdens To Women. Of course, we probably are in other ways, but our beloveds have never gone hungry.

LOL. I love this thread. My husband is a real faffer. It drives me nuts. I will show him this thread. He will be happy to know that there are others of his kind.

God this is DP

Yesterday was a classic, DS has just started school and is coming home starving wanting to eat really early. I work from home and told DP that I would be late artwork stuff so just to gives ds tea so fish fingers or whatever and w would eat late
Dp picks ds up,goes to the shop for his dad, gets back around 5 ds is starving. Comes to my office moaning and chatting while I'm trying to work
TWENTY MINUTES later dp comes in to ask what to make ds for tea THEN says ok I'll empty the dishwasher and then do it. Why he didn't walk in and stick the food in the oven I'll never know
An hour later chicken nuggets are cooked

So pleased to hear DH has so many clones!

Every time we go out, DS and I stand by the door for 10 minutes while DH wanders about finding his coat, puts on his shoes then changes his mind and puts on another pair, realises he's left his phone upstairs, comes back down, remembers his keys are also upstairs, decides he needs the loo and has to take his coat off to go and on and on...

Last weekend he said he would finish off the roast while I relaxed. This consisted off making the gravy, cooking the (already prepared vegetables), carving the meat and dishing it up. It took over an hour. I have absolutely no idea how but it definitely wasn't relaxing to spend the time with an extremely hungry 3 year old!

He is also extremely faffy about making decisions; everything seems to require lengthy pondering. He has spent the last 3 weeks deciding whether we should come home from visiting his family over Christmas on the 28th or 29th

I have just spent 20 mins shouting at DH to get in the shower as his mother is on her way over and things need doing. He has several times got back in bed, 'just for two minutes', had a wee (sitting down with his iPhone) and spent some time faffing about in the bathroom with the shower running. I have just lost my shit spectacularly and shouted at him to stop fucking about. He is now in the shower.

We will now doubtless have 20 mins 'drying off time' in bed wrapped in towels while looking at phone. If his mother gets here and he is not dressed he will be answering that door with his cock out.

There have been things which have taken dh years. Things which would take you or I an afternoon. Putting a shelf up in the bathroom, for instance; 8 years (and then we moved, so it became moot).

That is why my dh faffs. If he leaves it long enough, he won't have to do it at all. He would deny that.

You all appear to be married to my boss. Luckily for him he has me to run his business and his DW to run his home, otherwise I suspect he'd spend his days spinning on the spot flapping his hands at shoulder level.

Does have nice forearms, doesn't make up for the faffiness though.

Loving this thread. So far this morning I have made.the coffee, driven to the garage, picked up the car,come back done 2 loads of washing, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and cooked soup for lunch. Dh has got ready to go on a bike ride !!

Mine faffs if he has to be somewhere on time for an appointment, yet hates being nagged at, faffs before bed, faffs at getting the children to bed and getting them ready for for school, yet works from home and is highly organised and can housework/clean like a demon (whereas I faff when I have to do those very things...) Oh, and he can't get out of bed in a morning, which is a pain in the arse if it's my turn for a lie in, as generally I have to get up first and get DS2 up and toileted etc first because he needs his faff wake up time.