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Original poster

Discreet breastfeeding [title edited by HQ]

236 replies

KnackeredMerrily · 05/12/2014 12:43

Am I the only one to get furious when I keep reading people being 'reasonable' about breastfeeding.

"I dont mind people breastfeeding wherever they like as long as they're discrete about it."

There was NOTHING discrete about my breastfeeding. I didn't have the right breasts or the right latch to be able to be one of those who could do it with no one having a clue. Neither could I put a cover on - I needed to be able to keep a decent eye on him, make sure I wouldn't smother him with a boob, make sure he was attached and I never felt able to happily breathe under a cover (I have asthma) so I was never happy doing it to my son. For the first few months I used 2 hands feeding so it was tricky to establish latch under a cover and keep it so I could peek.

I feel that other women who cannot be discreet should be able to breastfeeds wherever they like and I feel a prang of pride everytime I am chatting to a Mum who is nonchalant about how much boob she shows when she is feeding. Good for them.

No new mother thinks "Hoorah, breastfeeding is a great excuse to get my tits out in public". It's always the caveat "as long as they're not showing anything", that really pisses me off. The ones that don't are not doing it for attention!!!

OP posts:
Claybury · 05/12/2014 15:11

The choice is usually screaming baby OR quietly breastfeeding. No brainer.

Women feeding young babies do not wish to be looked at - and perhaps what people don't realise is how many hours a day can be spent feeding. Who wants to hide away/ miss social interaction for other people's 'comfort'.

Andrewofgg · 05/12/2014 15:11

elfontheshelf I'm not convinced that David Cameron can prevent twats being twats - none of his predecessors have managed to!

mythbustinggov · 05/12/2014 15:18

Pretty good clarification of what I already knew, that Farage doesn't like women.

Oh, Nigel likes women - as long as they know their place. Behind the bar, in the kitchen or in the bedroom.

He'd also really like it to be the 1950s again.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/12/2014 15:21

What exactly is indiscreet breast feeding. It sounds quite hard a bit like getting a 3G signal in the countryside

Andrewofgg · 05/12/2014 15:22

mythbustinggov The 1950s? Not sure Nige would agree about that. Women had the vote by then, you know!

ApocalypseThen · 05/12/2014 15:22

What I find particularly saddening is the number of women who really are behind this push to be discreet. I mean, ok, stupid old fools like Farage are one thing, but women who are so terrified of the breasts of another woman are quite something else. All women have them, what's the problem?

ptumbi · 05/12/2014 15:28

Discrete means individual, separate. Discreet means unobtrusive.

Farage is an arse. Women don't count, because they are not beer swilling, fag burning men.

Floisme · 05/12/2014 15:28

He is indeed stupid but there's no need to bring his age into it.
He's eight years younger than me by the way.

Original poster
KnackeredMerrily · 05/12/2014 15:51

Thanks MNHQ for title edit, hopefully that can put the conversation back on track to how Farage is a monumental cock

And more talk on boobs, cheer me up.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 05/12/2014 16:21

I wonder how Nige would cope with my beer-swilling fag-burning female colleague?

calmexterior · 05/12/2014 16:41

I'm really tired and sad about all this now. It seems the vast majority of public opinion is that bf should not be seen, no matter how much we try and explain to the ignorant Sad

strawberrysplit · 05/12/2014 16:44

I tried my best to be discreet but thanks to an oversupply of milk and fidgety babies i'm not sure I always managed it... I must admit it made me feel uncomfortable and if possible, I fed in private. I wish there was more in-discreet feeding going on, it would have made me feel more at home with my fire-hydrant let down and squirmy feeders :)

Makes me wonder how the anti-bf lot think that we evolved as a species though, pretty sure we wouldn't still be around if cave-women had the same hang-ups!

BinarySolo · 05/12/2014 16:45

I love the idea of Farage congealing into being, although personally I thought he was the reptilian class that David Ikes referred to and as such hatched from an egg. Seriously, I can't see him interviewed without expecting a forked tongue to flick out in between questions.

tobysmum77 · 05/12/2014 16:56

I imagine strawberry that the cavemen were thoroughly modern men in comparison to Farage

Andrewofgg · 05/12/2014 17:06

It seems the vast majority of public opinion is that bf should not be seen, no matter how much we try and explain to the ignorant.

calmexterior Honestly you are wrong. I doubt if even most of the people who vote for Farage's party are of that view. Short of squirting in somebody's eye I don't think many people really care. Teenage boys might gawp but there's not a lot to be done about that.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 05/12/2014 17:12

Was Farage ever a baby, do you suppose? I've always imagined him congealing slowly into his present form.

Grin

In addition to defecation and urination, I also alsaw someone on the BBC website compare it to masturbation. I mean, how hard of thinking do you have to be to think 'yeah, I'm gonna write this, its such a great argument against public breastfeeding, I just won the Internet!'

Bambambini · 05/12/2014 17:35

I don't remember any really negative bf incidents but peoples reactions to recent stories are depressing. Can only hope that it's just a very vocal few idiots rather than mass public opinion.

Even my sister obviously disaproved of me bf at tables when out and in front of the ilaws when discussing bf recently.

hackmum · 05/12/2014 17:47

Did anyone else just hear JustineMumsnet and Ann Leslie talking about this on PM? Justine was good but sadly the connection got lost before she could have the last word. She said - as so many of us have - that she's never seen anyone "ostentatiously" breastfeeding.

Ann Leslie was doing her usual world-weary voice of common sense act which was just irritating. She said she didn't see what all the fuss was about and referred to "shrieking feminists" - as if it's women who are making the fuss, when in fact if it wasn't for twats like Claridges getting hysterical about a bit of breast, we wouldn't need to make a fuss.

She also went on about it being a "generational" thing, but again, as I (and others) have pointed out on here before, earlier generations were completely comfortable about public breastfeeding. It's the modern generation that has come over all prudish about it.

ChickenMe · 05/12/2014 17:53

I hope to BF. People have said to me that I shouldn't do it at the dinner table in a restaurant. I don't see why not-I can't see anything wrong with this. Did anyone encounter this thought?

Who would really plan to wave boob around for the fun of it anyway? Do they think we are stupid?!?

My retort would (ideally) be along the lines of "you don't have to like it and you're entitled to your opinion but thats all it is, your opinion. It's legal so its tough luck whether anyone "agrees" with it. Don't impose your morals on me."

hackmum · 05/12/2014 18:13

ChickenMe: hope it goes well for you. My experience, 15 years ago, was surprisingly good: no-one ever criticised me for bf-ing in public, and twice I was congratulated on it (by older women who just said how nice it was to see someone breastfeeding their baby).

So when you see twats on the internet kicking off about it, I do wonder how representative they are of opinion in general.

Stripylikeatiger · 05/12/2014 18:27

I was really good at discrete breastfeeding the first time around, I always had 2 tops on so did the pull one up drop one down method, my baby was really efficient and quiet when breastfeeding so it was all very unnoticeable.

I now have baby number 2, I have really strong letdown with makes him choke so I have to try to rub his back whilst supporting his head meanwhile my boob is squirting out milk everywhere. My toddler is still breastfed and he often comments whilst the choking/milk squirting is happening "baby Stripey loves boobies, I love boobies, look, lots of boobies!!" There is no 2 top one up, one down subtlety anymore, if we are all dressed that is a bonus, I don't have time to worry about 2 tops these days.

Tron123 · 05/12/2014 18:28

Whilst I think the actions of Clarridges was wrong, there is a point about what is appropriate and where and how it is done. Feeding a baby is a necessity and of course that happens in public, for the most part quietly and sensitively

Andrewofgg · 05/12/2014 18:30

ChickenMe Why should your LO not have dinner while you are having dinner? Best of luck to you.

Jaffakake · 05/12/2014 18:37

I just don't get this 'don't feed the baby in a restaurant' thing. Well all the grown ups are eating, so why shouldn't the baby? I just don't get why that's not ok, but thinking we should bf in a toilet is ok. Just bizarre!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 05/12/2014 19:05

Ooh I heard Justine on radio 4 on this topic.

She sounded so baffled by someone's comment that farage made a sensible point it seemed to break the phone line Grin

Sorry - derailing thread again, Justine was very good though, gutted the phone kind went down

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