Air travel stories nice or nasty (lighthearted)

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I was on a long haul flight and a stewardess flight attendant was serving redwine out of a bottle. Someone jogged her arm and wine was spilt onto my light blue, cotton blouse. A wipe didn't help so the conscientious stewardess took the blouse away to rinse it (I was wearing a tee shirt underneath) but it made no difference. To keep me warm overnight, I was presented with a First Class cabin sleepsuit pair of pyjamas. I was so pleased.

PS the red wine stain did come out of my light blue blouse

Flying out of tel aviv I was somehow clocked as highly suspicious and pulled out of the security line and taken to a room

3 hours later I was escorted onto my (rather delayed by now) flight after an entertaining questioning session, search of my entire contents of luggage (including tasting my toothpaste and rolling up my lipsticks) and a strip search (still remember sitting in a white paper disposable jumpsuit watching as they checked the seams of my clothes and the underwire in my bra

They were incredibly professional and polite and genuinely respectful but i couldn't shake the fact that is done something wrong but just didn't know what it was

Flying into Italy one year we witnessed a lightning storm over to the right. We were nearing landing so it was a bit worrying but it really was spectacularly beautiful.

As a 4 year old I managed to slip past my dad (who was engrossed in holding my infant brother) and actually get off the plane during a refuelling stop at Bombay Airport, while my mum was in the toilet. She came back to find me missing and alerted A flight attendant who found me at the foot of the stairs on the tarmac, talking to the ground crew. It took a while before she forgave my dad!

Not me, but a friend of mine was on an EasyJet flight out of Spain that was struck by lightening that shattered the cockpit window so they had to make a speedy return to Madeid Barajas!

My first ever flight has special memories for me - I was 18 and flying to Stavanger in Norway. Either it was my first flight and I was clearly excited (despite my attempts at coolness) or I had told the attendants that I was deaf (just in case of anything), but I was given a mini bottle of champagne and invited to sit in the cockpit for a while!! 'Twas great fun, I think I still have the bottle!!! (And I'm forty now!)

samesizetoes - I've had the fireworks thing too - flying in to London City Airport at about 7.30pm on 5 November. There were loads of firework displays going off below, it was absolutely stunning.

On a night flight from NYC to London, I woke up to an unpleasant smell. The two women next to me had just pulled out some McDonald's bags from their carry-on. They proceeded to scoff down several stone cold Big Macs, packets of fries, onion rings...the scent of stale burgers and their enthusiastic mastication made me feel ill for the rest of the journey. I guess Virgin Atlantic's offerings were insufficient....

I've remembered a few more.

1. Flying to Vienna in December with Austrian Airlines - the entire passenger cabin was festooned with Christmas decorations!

2. I used to fly to Alderney quite a bit in my late teens/early 20s with Aurigny, who had Islanders and Trilanders then. One of the pilots was the dad of one of my friends. Apparently in the Summer the pilots spent most of the flight listening to the cricket on the radio.

3. New York to London on the Red-Eye with United - and I had to go straight to work from Heathrow. I'm useless at sleeping on planes, so a lovely FA spent the night 'feeding' me gallons of tomato juice at no charge. On the same flight were a few Hasidic Jewish gentlemen, they were seated much further forward than me but they had a smallish wooden box/casket which was stowed behind the row I was in (behind my row was a bulkhead, with the galley behind that). Every so often one of them would wander up, check the box and go and sit back down. I still wonder what was in the box.

My very first flight was from Heathrow to Montreal, an 8hr flight then. (late fifties) I was a young teenager going alone to visit my aunt & uncle. Wasn't at all nervous, just very excited. We flew over the North Pole via Newfoundland, during the night. The stars were enormous, like dinner plates. I was absolutely awestruck. In those days the flight attendants were extremely glamorous, like James Bond's girlfriends. (Expensive perfume, hair in a bun, beautiful make-up) These goddesses floated up and down the aisle ministering to us. And one came along with a soft fluffy blanket for me, and tucked me up like a mum. I was in utter heaven. Since then I've flown all over the place, but the magic is still there. I'm addicted to airports, aeroplanes and flying.

Found this Knackered-a poo guide-who knew!!

"I'm addicted to airports, aeroplanes and flying." Me too, Hatespiders.

My favourite airport had to be Preveza in Greece. Not the newish, gleaming terminal. The old one. Preveza was (is?) a military airbase too, but the commercial terminal was just a big wooden hut - a bit like a cricket clubhouse! The bar area was outside and consisted of a few benches by an enormous oleander bush and the bar itself was a bloke selling drinks from a garden shed. It would have been possible to wander from the bar directly out to the plane ..... if it wasn't for a few soldiers bristling with machine guns to keep us away from the fighter planes!

Myself and a group of friends recently flew to Amsterdam for a mini break. We had booked one suit case between us for toiletries and then had our hand luggage. Anyway our suitcase was ridiculously over weight and we would have to pay some amount. We worked out it would be cheaper to throw our shampoos and repurchase over there. The lovely check in lady came over to the self service machine and said she didn't like to see nice ladies like our selves throw away out things and just gave us a baggage ticket. That was one of about 20 lukcy things that happened to us that weekend including free champagne on the flight, our hotel being upgraded, vip area in a club with free drinks.

We were once flown by a pilot who called himself Buster Crab. I'm still convinced he was joking.

Buster Crabbe was Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers.

On an internal flight a few years ago, I just took handluggage as I was on a tight schedule to get into Central london for a pre-booked meal. To save time, I was half-dressed to go ..... My going-out top and jacket on with jeans, meaning I just had change into the naice cream trousers on arrival.

Sat the row in front of me was a women with two young children, few month old baby and prob 18mo. They were cute, quiet but entertaining enough. All the way down I'm working out my escape plan .... I don't like to be the one who pushes through, but I was tight on time.

So we land, I'm already packed up with bag in hand ready to run. Woman in front is tears ...... Over what I'm still not sure ..... Kids' stuff is spread out everywhere ..... She can't pack anything for trying to hold on to two kids. Before I could shut my mouth, I hear myself saying "do you want me to hold the baby whilst you get sorted?" She cried again. 15 mins later, I'm last off the plane now holding some random 18mo and an assortment of cuddly toys, blankets and general kiddie paraphernalia.

I missed the pre-lunch drinks ...... But I like to think it was worth it if it made someone else's day a bit easier.

I work in aviation, so have far too many work stories to share ;-)

I was on a plane that was hit by lightning mid-flight. It was awesome! Especiall as i happened to be looking out of the window at that moment, and actually saw the lightning strike us. And I loved the laid-back laconic style that the Captain used to explain what had just happened.

Flight to Helsinki, there was a uk girls choir who sang the Hills are alive with the sound of music acapella as we took off. It was so beautiful. We also had the most delightful triplet toddlers sitting behind us which ended up playing with.
Also when ds was 3 he was chatting to the stewardess while we were queuing for the loo,and curious about what was behind a door. Went back to our seats and the stewardess came and said come with me . She took him to see pilot. He was thrilled

Couple of nice moments for me.

On a plane to Seoul with air Korea and I was tucking into my very tasty rice bowl which came with all sorts of condiments.

I noticed a Korean lady sitting across the aisle getting a bit agitated and saying something to her husband, pointing at me, and then being a bit sharp with her husband again while looking at me. Eventually the husband leans over, points to the very hot chill paste sachet which I hadn't put on my rice and says "very nice, you put on rice, very good". Bless her, she was obviously so concerned I wasn't getting the maximum enjoyment out of my meal!

Another good flight. To San fran. Totally empty. Stewardess come round and move everyone so we all have a row to myself. Then the food and drink service is tres rapido and I end up knocking back quite a few glasses of wine. Stretch out on my row of 4 seats and get a solid 7 hours of sleep! Awakend by some turbulence, throw up in the toilet (part hangover part turbulence) nail a bottle of water and then feel absolutely fine and don't have any jet lag at all for my trip :-)

My worst fligh I already posted about on another thread.

I'm loving these stories! Here's mine...
I'm half deaf and also half East Asian so look quite oriental. Flying to Thailand I was one of the last to board, seated next to older gentleman who has just taken out two hearing aids. He waves at me and points at them to let me know he's not being rude if he ignores me. I take out my one hearing aid and gesture to it and we have a giggle.
It is clear he has gone deaf later in life as he is perfectly able to speak/ lip read with the staff. With me however he talks in broken "Brit Abroad" English. It is clear he thinks I'm Thai but is very friendly and chats a bit. I did try to say I was a Londoner but it seems to get lost in translation. He gave me lots of snacks and was a very nice travel buddy.
After we landed and all hearing aids were returned to ears, he started chatting again and heard my accent. I think he was really embarrassed as he stopped taking to me and practically sprinted off the plane!

Flying to Quito in Equador via curacao (SP?) to start a nanny job....business class but upgraded to (nearly empty) 1st....oh.. get me! Very long flight...about 23 hours.
few hours in there was the 'any Drs /nurses aboard' call...being in 1st I didn't see anything...but later the flight attendents 'manhandle' a gentleman to a few rows in front of me...where he proceeded to sit still for about 12 hours...the FA made a show of going over to him and 'seeing' to him...but I knew he was dead....very sad...and when we landed at curacao I saw them take him out and put on a stretcher covered over......

My flight back from Thailand was awful in comparison. Air con had broken and I was next to the worlds fattest man still allowed one seat, he needed the seat belt extension and the arm rest up, which meant he was sat on me! To make it worse he was wearing about 5 fleeces and has sweat through them all, my left arm was covered in his sweat and he was in General very rude. I insisted on putting the armrest down- he had an aisle seat so could spill out the other way- but every time he moved it shot up and his entire arm and shoulder was still in my seat.

A miracle happened and the tv on the chair broke, perfect excuse to get a FA but he didn't want to get up to let me out so insisted on pressing the call button. FA comes over and says she'll reboot, ring again if it doesn't work in 5 mins, this happens twice more. Eventually I insist I need the loo and make Fat Man move his lazy ass. Catch the flight attendant who tells me they turned off my screen on purpose to give me an excuse to get up and explain they have gotten me a seat made up in first class and give me hot towels to wipe all his sweat off me.

Told the man that it was the only empty seat and they were moving me so I could use the screen. He tried to insist he'd move and I could sit in his seat as first class is really a gentle mans lounge Erm... No that seat's soaking wet covered in your sweat and it's your inconsiderate fault that means I have to move. FA said she was angry he was going to be getting two seats when he'd only paid for one and that big people seem to rely on them moving people rather than booking two seats as he should have.

As soon as I sat in my new seat the air con magically started working again as well. It was from one extreme to the other.

Flying back from France with DD aged 4 sitting on one side of me and a woman on the other side who had a moustache. I don't just mean that she had a bit of a shadow or fluff - I mean a full moustache. She started to talk to me when DD started tugging on my sleeve and in a loud stage whisper said "Mummy, is that a man Mummy? Mummy that lady has a moustache Mummy, why has she got a moustache?" I tried to ignore her, then tried to distract her, but nope.

Had to sit in a frosty silence for the rest of the journey

We were on a flight from New York with DS who was 7 at the time. We were in a rush to get on the flight and hadn't managed to go the loo beforehand but thought I'd take DS for a wee once we were in the air.

The flight was delayed and we were stuck on the plane waiting to take off for about 1.5 hours. We were told we weren't allowed out of our seats or the plane would lose its place in the queue. By the time we took off DS had fallen asleep.

When he woke up he found he had done a huge wee. I didn't have a change of clothes for him as hadn't envisaged this happening at all! The flight attendants gave me several fleece blankets to put on his very wet seat and to wrap round him. They suggested taking his jeans off and rinsing them in the sink and reckoned they'd be dry by the time we got to Heathrow. So, I took DS to the loo to take his jeans off. When we got back to his seat the blankets had gone. The person sitting in the seat in front of him had taken them and wrapped them all round herself! The smell of urine was really strong, I don't know how she didn't notice. Served her right for stealing them.

I then spend the next 5 hours holding DS's jeans up to the blowers to try to get them dry in time for landing. They weren't completely dry but good enough to put on until we got our suitcases back.

It was a really miserable flight. The only thing that cheered me up was this woman stealing the urine-y blankets for herself.

These stories are fab. Wish I had some but sadly all flights have been terribly uneventful!