Air travel stories nice or nasty (lighthearted)

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I was on a long haul flight and a stewardess flight attendant was serving redwine out of a bottle. Someone jogged her arm and wine was spilt onto my light blue, cotton blouse. A wipe didn't help so the conscientious stewardess took the blouse away to rinse it (I was wearing a tee shirt underneath) but it made no difference. To keep me warm overnight, I was presented with a First Class cabin sleepsuit pair of pyjamas. I was so pleased.

PS the red wine stain did come out of my light blue blouse

Worst flight back from austria to london. We had to wear seat belts all the time. The light never went off. The plane i didnt think was ever stable as it went up and down like a rollercaster. Arrived in london to see fire engines with flashing lights on the runway...great. Softest landing ever but everyone was ushered away quickly into a bus. Never found out what happened and why the fire engines were there. Mil was picking us up and said both dh and myself were as white as a ghost and very quiet (i can talk for england so she was very upset to see us like this). We had to sit and drink orange juice (she ordered us, got the juice and we quietly just did what she told us to. Looking back think we were in shock) before we left the airport. All seemed a dream. Didnt fly for several years afterwards. Over 8 years ago now...

I love how amazed people are when you fly with a well behaved baby. I flew lots with my daughter before she turned one (including UK to Australia and UK to USA and on to Australia). She was usually beautifully behaved and people would very often comment as they left about how their heart had sunk seeing me board the plane with her. Um, thanks!

I was really dreading an L.A.-Melbourne flight with her as she'd just started having tantrums. But instead she slept for 10 hours in the bassinet and spent the rest of the time during up in it waving to the adoring crowd.

No other interesting flying stories. We need a train travel thread...

UK to SF when DD was a toddler : 9 hours of her awake on my lap
next flight was SF to NY
we got 7 seats for the 3 of us : she skipped around the plane right through the turbulence

We'd just taken off from Toronto back to LHR and the FA came around with the drinks trolley. In the row behind us it quickly became clear that they couldn't rouse one of the older ladies. 2 FAs and her travelling companions going through her medication lists, health etc.

Suddenly the lady came around and said "gin & tonic please" the FA said perhaps not and she was ushered off up to business or first class!

If you ever fly Qatar Air pay attention to the safety video. The male flight attendent in it is gorgeous!

1. flying BA red eye flight from NYC to London. I swapped seats with a woman who had never flown, was wnxious and was not sitting with her DP. I went from my favourite seat to one with a broken seat that constantly reclined, no tv and no overhead light. Not a pleasant 6 hours to look forward. The delightful purser gave me all the first class magazines (before we knew the light was broken) then two bottles of Mumm or similar from 1st class when the tv broke and let me chat with them all night. I got my flight refunded too!

2. Flying back to London from Brisbane with Qantas. Icelandic volcano erupted while we were midair. I had a lovely 8 day free holiday at the Carlton hotel in Singapore and upgraded to business class for the flight home

My mother in law asked the steward if he could help her join the mile high club. She meant the frequent flier club.

When traveling at 34 weeks pregnant the stewardess brought me my own giant bottle of water, and checked on me often. She also moved the other two people sat with us to different seats so my husband and I could have the 4 seats to ourselves and I could stretch out a bit easier.

Flying Orlando to NYC at 28 weeks pregnant and ginormaus. Gent in seat in front of me reclined all the way back, into my tummy. It was shocking and painful. I asked him very politely to please perhaps sit up a bit. He refused. I was flying alone. The business man next to me sharply told him he was right against my bump. The reclining man swore at him. The FA was summoned and saw my predicament straight away. She informed the the gentleman he was to sit up immediately or she would inform the captain. Reclining man slowly unreclined. He was nasty and abusive.

The flight crew was lovely to me. The had a vehicle meet me at the gate and drove me to claim my baggage. Someone from the airline rang me the next day to find out how I was doing and if I needed anything.

Many many years ago on a Military flight to a new posting with my husband and 4 month old son we had to make an emergency landing due to the crew not knowing if the undercarriage had locked when they lowered it. Being a nervous passenger I had kind of picked up on a problem what with the crew looking out of the window at the wings and generally looking a bit 'different'. Eventually the pilot, a good friend, made an announcement as to what was going on and my husband, and engineer moved me and our son to the aisle seat and said if we crash land head for that door at the back of the plane - do not herd to the front with everyone else because thats what mother nature will make then do. He also gave us both a kiss. Anyway we landed ok but the firemen still covered the aircraft in foam at the end of it all just incase. It was all very scary.

Another time on a flight to NZ my little girl went to the loo and was trapped inside when an elderly passenger collapsed outside the toilet. She wasnt moved for ages whilst medical attention was given to her and my little girl who was about 4 took it all in her stride. It was a long time ago and I often wondered what happened after the lady was take off the aircraft in Singapore

And recently on a short haul flight my sons best friend was the cabin senior when we hit very bad turbulence. It was so bad the galley was covered in glass because they crew had no time to put things away and two of them were injured. I sat there really scared whilst trying to look really calm and my sons friend did the same whilst looking at me. I knew we were both thinking - dont worry, Im here. :)

And the best trip ever - sitting in my seat on the plane and one of the crew coming to me and saying there's someone in the cockpit asking if you'd like a coffee? It was my son and he'd kept quiet about the fact we were very co-incidently on the same flight that day and I'll never ever forget it. It was my first time to fly with him and if it never happens again it will be Ok because that day really can never be matched.

on a recent flight to spain from seoul, i got chatting to the korean lad beside me.

we spent most of the flight flirting before ending up holding hands and snuggling.

he was handsome and muscular as all hell. and 18! i am not 18!

we said goodbye with a chaste kiss on the lips at heathrow.

it was heaven.

Coming home from Florida this year my parents, brother and our friend were sat away from us, and DH, DD1, DD2 and I were sat upstairs in the bubble seats. I was so worried about the flight home because the way there had been passing 15 month old nightmare child DD2 from person to person for the whole flight.

It was DD1's birthday and she would turn 4 while in the air.

When we sat down we fed DD2 a bottle of milk during take off and she fell asleep in DH's lap. DD1 leant over into my lap and fell asleep too.

9 hours later they woke up as we touched down in London!!

The flight attendants were amazing, we were both pinned and only had DD2's tray in the middle of us and they brought us cake from first class, loads of alcohol etc...

Then as we were leaving the captain said happy birthday to our daughter, everyone sang and the FA gave us a bag with a bottle of champagne and some goodies in it for 'your DD's birthday'

Fantastic flight!!!

We flew to the US on DD's 9th birthday. DP was sitting in business class (work trip) and I was in economy with DS and DD.

After take off the stewardess said DD could go and sit in business with DP. She was given lots of drinks and sweeties. DS wanted his turn so we kept swapping and I drank lots of champagne

At the end of the flight the kids were allowed into the cockpit. They were move excited that the pilots name was Ramsbottom! He told the kids that his DD wanted to name change!

I was flying back from Sydney, BA flight but Qantas plane/flight attendants.

I was sitting next to an elderly Indian lady (aisle seat, myself in the window seat) who pulled a blanket over her head and stayed that way most of the flight to Kuala Lumpar, she just popped out to get food and drinks and then back under to consume them! I asked the FA for some orange juice and as she handed it to me the Indian lady lifted her hand up to remove her blanket and the juice went all over the crotch of my white linen trousers! I looked like I had peed myself while I had a bladder infection! The wonder flight attendants washed my trousers and hung them over the food heating doors to dry while I sat wrapped in a airline blanket (I'd gone to the bathroom to remove them and walked back in my blanket sarong!) The poor lady was mortified, apologised profusely and then refused to leave her blanket hideaway until we landed!

Another flight from Australia, there was a family two rows in front of me with an 11 week old baby who started screaming about an hour into an over night flight. After about an hour of the couple desperately trying to calm the baby, I asked if I could help, explained I was a nanny, that they were so stressed out by her crying and horrified that they were upsetting the other passangers (grumpy bastards!) that their daughter was picking up on the stress, I offered to walk her about for a while while they calmed themselves. 15 minutes later baby was asleep, I returned to my seat with baby sleeping on me for 5 hours (a tiny baby sleeping in your arms, what could be nicer?!) parents slept, other passengers slept and everyone thought I was a wonder! When I handed the baby back, I said quite loudly, never get stressed out about the other passengers, your baby is your priority, ignore everyone else, do what's best for her which got a small round of applause!! Loads of people said thank you as we were getting off the plane and the couple tried to give me money!

I was really pleased to get an ultra cheap internal flight in the USA, when I was a poor student, especially as I was told it was the last seat available. I was therefore surprised, when I got on it, to find it half empty.
All became clear when the pilot started doing his spiel and he was stuttering and stammering. Some other chap was prompting him! We were only then told it was a training flight. The woman nearest to me asked to move to be near to the emergency exit.

It felt like a very long flight. Particularly nerve wracking during take off and landing. The only saving grace was that there were a lot of FA, all training too, so we were very well looked after.

Years ago, around 1990, DH and I flew at night from JFK to Syracuse in New York State - there was a massive thunderstorm going on, and we were driven out to a remote runway and shown into a shed which was full of people we could only describe as refugees. There were maybe thirty of them, all very thin and shabbily dressed, the women and children huddled together at one end, most of them weeping, and the men at the other end looking very scared but as if they were trying to tough it out. There were also armed guards with them who were very twitchy indeed and every time one of them moved would bark instructions and gesture with their massive guns! None of these poor people spoke English and they were terrified. (So were we.). Eventually we were walked out to the plane, a tiny propellor plane, drenched by the time we got to it, and our party were wailing with fear by this point - they obviously had no idea what was going to happen to them and they weren't helped by being prodded along with guns. DH and I were speechless, and were kept apart from the others. No other Europeans on the flight. As we went up the steps we were met by a wild eyed FA who heard us talking quietly to each other and she said "You speak English! Please sit by the emergency exit!" so we did, and then sat on the runway for another half an hour in the storm watching a huge fire in the distance. Anyway we got off the ground, and got to Syracuse, but an awful flight with thunder and lightning all around, the plane going up and down like a mad thing, and all these poor people weeping and wailing, still being closely guarded. They were kept on the plane while we were let off and who knows what happened to them, but I will never ever forget them - the worst flight I've ever done. I've never seen an FA so frightened.

On a daytime flight from Italy to Germany last year with my 2 young children. The man on the seat in front of me was reading a porn mmagazine! I told the flight attendant calmly and discreetly so as not to draaw my children's attention to it, that I thought it was inappropriate. She said something to him (not in English so I don't know what) and he shrugged and then carried on reading it but holding it up so it was even more obvious. I hate porn. So i let the baby on my lap kick kick kick his chair through the whole flight. Not my finest moment. But seriously. Porn on a flight!?

Just a few days ago I travelled with Emirates from Sydney to Manchester with 2 small children and a broken leg.The staff, as always, were amazing. No particular story. They just make flying with children so easy.

Flying into Riyadh Saudi Arabia from another Gulf country on Saudia - the crew stood up for take off and landing talking to some of their mates who were on the lifght. A section of the seating area at the back had the seats removed so it could be used as a prayer area - some of the passengers were kneeling praying on take off and landing. We were in the last row at the back of the plane net to the prayer area - it was a very interesting flight!

Another flight into Saudi I realised half way through the flight I had left my abbaya in the hire car - and unusually for me flying back into Saudi I was wearing shorts and t-shirt which is a big no no in Saudi. So I asked the FA if I could take a blanket with me - I borrowed a long sleeved jumper from DD and wrapped the plane blanket round my waist and walked through passport control with my family about three steps behind me. I got some odd looks, but at least I didn't get arrested for exposing my legs and arms in public.

I was flying on a flight from Jo'burg and was in the middle of a row of three. The passenger by the window began to talk to me and asked me if I had turned to God. Now he picked the wrong person to have this conversation with! I am a firm believer that everyone can practise any religion etc that they want but if they challenge my beliefs then I will challenge theirs!

So this guy starts asking me why I didn't spend my time worshipping God etc. I retaliated that I needed proof in order to believe. He said we have proof because God gave us Jesus from a virgin. I then asked if he believed Mary was a virgin or was it a case that she made up a story to stop herself from being flogged as she was playing away from home! He was hugely offended and began ranting at me about how wrong I was and that it was blasphemy to say such things.

He then began preaching that we were born from God after he gave us Adam and Eve! I then asked him how Cain and Abel had children what with them being boys. He said he was unsure so I suggested that Eve had played her part. He agreed that maybe this had occurred. I then asked of God thought incest was ok. He said he did but changed his mind and so now it was wrong. I asked that should God change his mind again tomorrow would he follow his word. He agreed that if God did allow incest then he would sleep with his mother if that is what he wanted! I told him that, to me, the bible was a moral compass not a text to be taken literally.

He then tried to give me a book and I told him not to bother as I wouldn't read it. It took my 30 minutes to get him to put the damn book away!
I thought that was the last of it but he tried it again at the luggage carousel! This time, as we weren't confined to a plane, I told him properly what I wanted him to do with his book!

we were flying home years ago. the pilot said they were having a competition for the best joke ( I can still remember the winner too) and to bring entries to the flight deck. all the instruments were completely covered in bits of paper and they were shifting them around to see the relevant dials. there was a constant stream of people in and out of there! Later in the flight the pilot invited passengers to visit him so in I went. We were flying low over the Welsh mountains on our descent, the views were fantastic.

Another time we were seconds from landing and we took off again. there was a plane on the runway. we circled a few times then rapturous applause on landing.

boring compared to others stories, but this thread is worthy of a published book, it's fabulous

dh and i were flying to Pisa by Ryanair. last minute a woman got on and they made her put her luggage in the loo.She really stunk, that unwashed smell. she explained she had been in China and had been travelling for days. we had a lovely chat all the way there.

as we were leaving she said she could give us a lift to Florence. A lovely limo pulled up and took us to our hotel.The driver greeted her by name, he later told us she was an Italian aristocrat.

Gosh, I remember flying with BA from Paris to London the day after concorde has crashed. My DH was gold (or equivalent then). we arrived at the airport and it was chaos- distressed staff. they let 2 people into the lounge with his status- he took 1 child in and then came out to take the other- the flights were totally disrupted. Then the BA lady came out and said- just all come in. We waited hours- the gate was changed 3 times. Finally as we were boarding a man came up screaming in French as concorde was cancelled and he couldn't fly direct to NYC. I flew at him- joined by another passenger and told him to sit down and shit up (in crap french) . The BA staff cried- they were at braking point having lost friends

We were upgraded on our next 3 BA flights- co-incidence- I wonder.

Flying from uk to vegas. Chatting in lounge with a steward telling him all about our son who at the time was in Afghanistan, get on the plane and said steward asked if we would mind moving. I'm like yes whatever. Only moved us to first bloody class. My mother was beside herself with excitement. When I asked why he just said he could see how scared I was about my son and he loved that my mum was all about her soldier grandson so decided to give us a treat. Bloody amazing.

We got a night flight back from Egypt. We had spent a week in a 5 star kid free resort (without our 6 kids).

We had a four hour drive home after the flight so planned to sleep on the plane and share the driving.

We paid £60 for extra legroom.

When we reached our seats behind us was sat a mum with 3 under 5s. Dad was sat across the aisle and he proceeded to go to sleep for the entire flight while the youngest child (about 6/7!months old) screamed for the entire flight

My only ever flight was business class to Istanbul and back, on a freebie trip courtesy of Turkish Airlines. Amazing! The drinks never stopped, 5 course meal, our names iced onto the coffee saucers, and a personalised pillow to take home (hand drawn on by one of the FA)

I am never doing economy ... I am ruined!