Air travel stories nice or nasty (lighthearted)

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I was on a long haul flight and a stewardess flight attendant was serving redwine out of a bottle. Someone jogged her arm and wine was spilt onto my light blue, cotton blouse. A wipe didn't help so the conscientious stewardess took the blouse away to rinse it (I was wearing a tee shirt underneath) but it made no difference. To keep me warm overnight, I was presented with a First Class cabin sleepsuit pair of pyjamas. I was so pleased.

PS the red wine stain did come out of my light blue blouse

Flying back from Antalya in Turkey, to Heathrow. I was 8 weeks pregnant and and been horribly nauseous for the whole of our trip (a two-week walking holiday booked months before) - we'd even tried to change our flights to come home earlier I was feeling so bad. I just wanted to get home. Turned out our plane was full of golfers and their stupid heavy golf clubs - which meant we had to make an unplanned fuel stop so it took much longer than it should have. Then coming into Heathrow there was the worst turbulence I've ever experienced - I felt so rotten I was in tears by this point. When we landed all the golf clubs came out first on the carousel and we were the last to get our luggage. It was the middle of the night by this point and we still had two hours' drive home - and I had to go to work the next morning!

Sorry for offtopic, but disaster movies - I worked on a cruise ship, on the same line, where just a few years ago there had been a massive disaster, ship of the same company sank, hundreds dead. There were TVs all over the ship for passengers who could not sleep and were wandering around - same movies for a few months. And I can confirm that in the middle of winter storms, we did indeed show Speed 2 and also, can you guess? Titanic.

As for airplanes, yes they are built to handle both lightning and turbulence. The dangerous part about turbulence is not that the plane will break, but that you will be thrown against the wall or ceiling if not buckled up.

Hazle, I was on a cruise a few months ago and every night the pianist would belt out the theme tune to Titanic. It got to the stage that the bar crew would make jokes about I hope you can all swim and the passengers in the bar would get up and pretend to be standing at the rail like in the movie. The pianist was totally oblivious to it all and thought we were doing it because we liked the tune. It was funny.

Best was a flight to LA where the middle rows of 4 were empty at the back of the plane and I managed a decent stretched out sleep. Worst was from Florida, it was a night flight so had a couple of glasses of wine at the airport to help me nod off but the turbulence was so bad I ended up spending the entire flight getting rather stressed as over tired and trying not to be sick.

When ds2 was 5 months old he filled his nappy and babygrow as we were waiting to taxi on to the runway, we weren't allowed to move to change him, much to the disgust of everyone around us. Flight again at 12 months and we had the 'remember last time...' Conversation just as he did an almighty poo (although less leakage than last time!).

Why don't I ever get one of these flights with hardly anyone on it??!!!

Anyway ... on a 747-400 night flight from Bangkok to Heathrow I was surprised when they boarded everyone together instead of in sections as usual. Onboard the cabin staff were throwing everyone's cabin stuff in the lockers - it was chaos. Then the FO announced that we'd be flying over Afghanistan and had to be past their airspace before midnight so we could be sure they wouldn't shoot us down

I've often wondered if anyone actually discussed this with the Afghans, or if they were just hoping!! TBH though I was so glad to leave Bangkok I'd have sat on the wing to get out of there ...

Years ago, flying Laker skytrain - no first class at the front stuff
instead, right outside the cockpit was an open space : where every child on the flight congregated for a rough and tumble
it was FAB

Harrow, well done to your husband for giving you the upgrade. I often see firsthand the amount of men who are in first or business whilst their wives are stuck in the back. Its absolutely disgraceful, but I will never understand the women who appear in the cabin to see their husband and are all happy the FS let them in for a couple of minutes to have a chat.

That's a bit mean, my Dh isn't allowed to give me the upgrade, his work pay for him (they don't pay for me at all) and it would be misconduct for me to fly in the seat his work paid for him (to work in).

My flight stories, ooh. One of the first flights to land from north america after September 11, that was terrifying. Not due to fear of terrorists, but the airport police with guns everywhere, everything delayed, everyone scared. Travelled for 26 hours straight.

Oh and being escorted through El Al security once when flying an Air Portugal flight due to a credible threat being made against our plane - including having to manually load our baggage on to the plane. Yep, it was all dumped on the apron and you had to go up one at a time, find your back and put it on the loading conveyor. Police watched it going up into the plane and watched the handlers in the plane loading it, noone was allowed to put a bag on until that one was up. That was a bit scarey, it has to be said

I've flown in business with DH in economy - if work is paying for mine, it would be silly to downgrade. But we usually consider way too expensive to pay for a business class ticket out of our own pocket.

I joined exDH on a work trip to Canada once. We flew out separately and coming back he asked at checkin if I could be upgraded and they agreed. I was very excited, thinking for once in my life I'd be told "turn left" as we boarded. However I was to be disappointed as I'd "only" been upgraded to premium economy! I'd have been quite chuffed had they told me that at checkin but I was expecting business class!

Lostriver, I do seriously understand, as I have arachnophobia, and fear of flying must be equally scary. I'd go on a boat with a large plastic bucket at the ready and plenty of Stugeron. I did when I took my classes to France on the ferry. The children helpfully handed me sickbags as needed!

You can get special sessions/classes I believe, at certain airports, which are for people afraid to fly. Don't know how effective they are though.

PieceofJustice, I have to disagree that what I said is mean but I accept you think I have been. We all have different ways of doing things and I'm sure there's much about my life that would puzzle you. :)

Why don't I ever get one of these flights with hardly anyone on it??!!!

Happens to me lots

Just in the last two years:

1. Vegas outwards: four of us in the middle with an empty row in front, therefore two moved forward so everyone had two seats to themselves.
2. Vegas inwards: four of us in the middle with several empty rows in front, everyone got their own row of four.
3. New York outwards: free upgrade to empty exit row.
4. Dublin outwards: few empty seats on plane but happily one between me (aisle) and other traveller (window).
5. Dublin inwards: as above.
6. Fuerteventura outwards: swathes of empty seats, I moved to my own three, husband stayed in his empty row of three extra legroom seats.
7. Fuerteventura inwards: few empty seats but happily, the third of our exit row seats was one of them.

Only a pair of flights to/from Italy in the last two years where I've not had an empty seat to stretch out on....

Sorry, reading back that sounds like a massive "ner ner ner ner"

I am happy to fly at weird times and usually in term time etc. Maybe that's it.

My auntie and uncle missed their honeymoon flight years ago due to traffic on the way to the airport. The plane they were meant to go on crashed and everyone on it was killed.

I love flying and it's usually fine. Had a few hairy turbulence encounters, but the only bad flight I can recall was because of the people on it!

Bangkok to Qatar with Qatar air, first they didn't have my veggie meal (they gave me a fish Hindu meal and told me that was what I booked) explaned I don't eat fish (don't like meat or fish) FA was really arsey and said if I only eat veg I can eat the veg from around the fish! I asked her to take it away as I wouldn't eat it. She said she had to do the food service first. Every time I asked the FA's to take it they made up some excuse, in the end I fell asleep for a bit. On waking I buzzed and asked them to clear it (everyone else's had been cleared away). They didn't clear it. Then the seatbelt signs came on for landing, even when they came to check our seatbelts were on they still didn't clear it ( will have to go and get a rubbish bag) I got up and took it to the galley and got told off for getting up as we were landing! So childish!

When we landed some man in the seat behind opened the locker above my head to get his case (before the doors had even opened or the seatbelt signs had switched off of course) dropped the case on my head and said "oh, well you're ok aren't you, no harm done" as I sat dazed and slightly concussed with my head in my hands crying.

On a flight to New York (Virgin) I watched Snakes on a Plane! - maybe Branson has a sense of humour

On another flight to New York I became rather unwell. Turned out to be some sort of D&V bug that I had the whole time I was there. On the plane though, I got very dizzy an almost fainted. The lovely man in the seat behind me said I could lie down on the empty 3 seats next to him, gave me his pillow and blanket, got me a bottle of water and kept check on me for the whole flight since my BF at the time was a useless twat.

I've been on a near empty flight and it was bliss :)

Sorry, reading back that sounds like a massive ner ner ner ner

Don't worry, it doesn't at all ...still green with envy, though!!

CariadsDarling

You called the behaviour of men like my DH disgusting, based on nothing more than your outsider judgement of a situation. So yes, I think that qualifies as a bit mean.

Had you said "it puzzles me that women are OK with their men sitting in business while they're stuck in economy", that wouldn't have been mean, as I'm sure many of us who have been in that situation could explain how it works when their work are paying for their flight and you are self-funding to go with them. But no, you judged and used uncalled for judgemental and nasty language.

My favourite flight was coming back from Iceland, newly engaged and taking every opportunity to flash the ring :)

Pieceofjustice, you appear to be assuming I know nothing about how your scenario works. I do, and Im sorry, but nothing would justify it in my world.

I do however agree that my choice of words in my first post were inappropriate and I apologise for them.

Peace

My dad used to work for an American airline and we flew KL - LA (with stop overs in HK and Tokyo) 3 times when I was between 6-9. Oh, and 1st class all the way too! I remember having ice - cream I flight and thinking this is lovely (Oh and puked as well!). Anyway for a long time I thought that was the normal way of travel!

Have also been bumped to business twice from KL-London, once when I was feeling ill and miserable so that was brill.

Have also traveled solo with DD to KL twice, on one of the legs our FA were lovely, they took DD away to the galley and sat there cuddling and chatting with her to give me a rest. On all legs (I flew Malaysia Airlines each time) the FA were very attentive and helpful, we had no problems whatsoever.

And each time at the end I was told she was very well - behaved (traveled when DD was 6 & 10 months).

Flying to New York we were really lucky and got an upgrade to business - awesome - flat bed seats and champagne I only wished the flight was longer! Although did laugh at the pamphlet advertising first class in the seat pouch - do you want to see what you could have won.... Heston blumenthal was recording his TV series about airline foods on the same flight but very quietly and unobtrusively. We actually watched the programme when it came on but you can't see us pretending not to be nosy!

Flying into Egypt this year the turbelance was awful - I rose up out of the seat at one point - was braced and ready for the dcs to start crying and they all thought it was hilarious dp and I were turning green and they were giggling. And coming home he was more of a pain then they were and kept moaning about being bored - note to self remember to pack extra colouring books in future...

Coming into New York, just as seatbelt sign came on, man standing up behind me vomited over my head. On my clothes, in my hair, in my ears, everywhere. Poor stewardess tried to help me clean it off (whilst heaving herself). Not sure I spoke through entire experience, waiting at airport or in taxi to hotel. Had shower, came out and said to DP - 'we will never talk about this, ok?'. He proposed in the morning, I reckon to cheer me up.

Coming back from Spain we had Peter Stringfellow on our Easyjet flight. In economy. I was surprised. My nephew who was 2 at the time tried to steal Stringfellow's gold rolex from his wrist on the little bus going back to the terminal