Splitting the bill

[Fallingovercliffs]

I know this topic probably comes up every Christmas but how do people feel about this?
I was out with some friends a couple of nights ago and we all had more or less the same amount of food and drink, but when the bill came someone took out their phone and started calculating who had what and how much each person owed. A couple of us said 'Look, we'll just split it. Less complicated' but they insisted on doing the 'Susan didn't have a starter. John had a beer before the rest of us got here' stuff.
AIBU to think this is incredibly petty?
Obviously if someone wasn't drinking I'd make sure they didn't pay for any of the wine. Or if I ordered a very expensive main course I'd insist on throwing in a few extra quid. But otherwise, just split the bill!!

I prefer for everyone to pay for their own food and drink. I don't understand what's so difficult about working out who has had what. It's not exactly rocket science.

Time and time again I see someone or other getting screwed over especially where alcohol has been consumed.

I used to live in a country which where we would normally be given separate bills if we were in a group. It's so much easier.

I love to shout my friends to drinks and coffees etc but I don't like being coerced into paying for other people's fancy food and drink - especially as I don't drink.

Do people actually go into a restaurant and just order tap water to drink?

Of course they do - not everybody drinks alcohol, coffee or soft drinks for a start! If you are going out and paying for a meal then there is nothing tight-fisted about having your preferred drink rather than ordering a drink that you don't want - why on earth would anyone do that?

I would rather water tbh. Not because I'm tight fisted but because i don't drink alcohol and I don't like having soft drinks too often. I much prefer having water with a meal whether I'm dining out or eating in.

theboo I tend to order more if I know it's being split but only because I know that I have to make up my share to make it fair IYSWIM

When I go out with a group on a monthly basis we always tell the staff that we will settle individually - we buy our own drinks from the bar. We all queue up and say what we have had and then pay for it or the waiter takes the monies separately. If you are last you are holding your breath as to whether or not what is left to pay for is what you have ordered. To date there has been no problem. People within the group have varying budgets and we do not expect to subsidise each other.

I suggested deciding how you are going to deal with the bill at the beginning of the evening simply so everyone knows where they stand - someone who isn't drinking won't be expected to pay towards wine, if someone wants their own separate bill they can say so, etc. No disgruntled people at the end of the evening or drunken eejits not prepared for their bigger bills.

Actually I've remembered a meal out for a friend's birthday where there was a set menu, so that was easy, but the drinks bill was considerable.

One of my friend's friends started complaining about splitting the bill, 'but I've only had one glass of wine' - she'd had at least two and her husband had drunk an entire bottle of red wine on his own. I was driving and had had only soft drinks. I pointed this out and asked everyone if they were prepared to chip in for the birthday girl's meal (she'd gone to the loo at this stage). It was only a couple of pounds extra and a nice surprise for our friend.

I can't stand tight people who try to get out of paying their way.

No disgruntled people at the end of the evening or drunken eejits not prepared for their bigger bills.

I think that having a pointer as to who is happy to drink more than they can afford, on the assumption that someone else is going to pick up the tab, is a great way to ensure that you don't end up hanging out with them again by accident.

It's petty if there's only a couple of quid difference in splitting or paying for what you had.

that's it I think. If it's a few quid here or there, I wouldn't care. if it's 25% more (or whatever, some big amount), I don't think you should split. I am perfectly happy if someone in the group says that they don't want to split because they had way less. in fact, I would point it out on someone else's behalf if there was an imbalance.

Definitely think you should pay for your own.

Agree that it's always the ones who have had the most want to pay the least! I went for a meal once, nursed a diet coke and had only a main. Came to £12 ish. At the end was told my share was around £30! No! The faces of the wine guzzlers were a picture.

Another time, a friend had a main and one drink. Another friend had 3 courses, several drinks and coffee. Equal split was pretty much exactly what I paid but more than double what my other friend had. I insisted that we pay our own and greedy friend had a huff and went home!

You really do need to be prepared to pay for what you've eaten. It's pretty stingy to expect others to make or up.

I suggested deciding how you are going to deal with the bill at the beginning of the evening simply so everyone knows where they stand

I don't see why that is necessary. the default assumption should be that you pay for what you have. splitting the bill is just a convenience if everyone has about the same.

I cant understand how people dont say anything if you are being fleeced out of extra money.
I have a friend ,we both drink wine so usually we get a bottle between us as its cheaper than glasses.If anyone else ha something they pay seperate for it.
My sil and i drink lager when out so we usually go in rounds but with anyone else i dont.Causes to much hassle.

i've been out with a group before similar to fickle...bill arrives, is split, plus tip...everyone chucks in their share and then The One pays with her card and takes the cash

I think between three or four it usually works out nicely to split, taking booze consumption into account, but more than that and it gets messy.

If there's a non drinker we take the drinks off and divide by everybody, the divide the drinks by the number of drinkers.
So non drinkers pay £15 each, drinkers pay £25
It's by far the fairest system, especially as the non drinkers often do the taxiing

Big group of us out on Saturday and we have already agreed to pay for our own meal and drinks. Some will have starters, some main meals, some tapas and there is a real mix of those who don't drink, those on lager, the wine drinkers and those who like cocktails. As I am the organiser, I will just go round very quickly at the end and tot up each persons bill.

It saves any bother or hard feelings, especially as one of our group goes mad in terms of drinking the most expensive bottles of wine and in the past has expected those who have had a soft drink or a glass of lager to split the bill.

After the meal, we'll go for a few drinks and pair up with people drinking similar and go in rounds.

If we are a smaller group and having similar drinks, we will just split the bill.

I hate splitting the bill! Last time I did this I only ordered a basic meal and a couple of glasses of wine, my bill would have been around £20-£25 had I paid for my own. However, other diners decided to order steak, expensive fish and lots of wine. I ended up having to contribute £60 to the bill! At the time that £60 was pretty much my week's wage gone! Needless to say I prefer to pay for what I've ordered...

I cant understand how people dont say anything if you are being fleeced out of extra money.

Really? When comments on here, including the actual OP include:

A couple of us said 'Look, we'll just split it. Less complicated' but they insisted on doing the 'Susan didn't have a starter. John had a beer before the rest of us got here' stuff. AIBU to think this is incredibly petty?

Yes it is unbelievably petty. We split bills evenly by the number of couples and the one couple who wanted to do the "X didn't have a starter but Y had 3 rolls" were quietly dropped from our invitations.

Every time, one person would have soup and one glass of wine and then complain at the end that they didn't want to split it, they'd only had soup, it was too much money etc etc. It was so fucking tedious and awkward.

Getting calculators out and passing the bill round while everyone discusses what they had just spoils a pleasant night out. It is just tacky and awkward.

Clearly there are people for whom someone wanting to pay just for what they had is a huge problem. I am not going to suggest that the posters on this thread actively expect others to subsidise their meal choices, but the other anecdotes on here suggest that there are many people who either deliberately or unintentionally land others with bills which come to much more than their fair share and are happy to do so because they feel that they have paid about the right amount.

If you are strapped for cash, or usually end up having a cheaper meal through preference, then being accused of tackiness, tediousness and pettiness is one of the potential alternatives to forking out for other peoples' food time and time again. It's frustrating because it's a lose-lose situation, not least because anyone who doesn't realise that it's far tackier to expect others to subsidise your meal is probably not someone I would choose to dine with which means a work event or other enforced social function where you really resent paying for some tight-wad's cocktails and fillet steak.

Given that (unfiltered) tap water is fairly unpleasant in most parts of the country, I would feel very odd going into a restaurant and only ordering tap water to drink.

If I only wanted to drink water, I'd order bottled water.

Krystellie the tap water in Scotland is very pleasant to drink.

I have no problem at all asking for a glass of tap water with my meal, given that I generally also have a glass of wine and tend to order from the expensive end of the menu ( except when splitting when I go mid range/cheap ) .

I got caught out as a 20 yr old in a new job. Went on a work's do and took £10 with me (this was 30 years ago).

Total cost of my main, pudding and soft drink was £7. One of the managers had had the most expensive starter, main and pudding, wine, cocktails and liquers. When the bill came she said we'd split and asked for £25 each.

I paid for my own, with her looking daggers at me. I never went out with that team again, and for the whole time I worked there she was downright nasty to me.

I have been very careful about going out with groups ever since. The best kind of places to go to are those with a set menu, and you buy your own drinks.

rookiemater I'm actually from Scotland and agree that the tap water is nice.

However, if I was going to a restaurant, especially a nice one, I would feel like a bit of a cheapskate only asking for tap water. As mentioned by a previous poster, drinks are often how places make their money and especially in independently owned establishments, it's pretty cheap asking for only tap water.

If you don't want to drink alcohol/soft drinks/hot drinks then fine, but at least pay for one bottle of water.

Agreeing how to split the bill beforehand doesn't always work either. I remember one meal with acquaintances and most people voted to split the bill equally at the end. One person, clearly determined to get their full money's worth and more, decided to order cocktails throughout the evening. We were all too polite to say anything and split the bill equally as planned. I did get a new perspective on that person though and can't say that I've ever been for a meal with them again.

I have been out on nights with groups that agree to put equal amounts into the alcohol kitty if we're drinking and less is contributed by anyone who's only drinking water or soft drinks. That seems to work ok as the drinks are ordered in rounds for everyone.

but at least pay for one bottle of water.

I never buy bottled water. what a waste (literally. they are filling up our landfills).

price your food correctly (I always have alcohol, by the way).

i've been out with a group before similar to fickle...bill arrives, is split, plus tip...everyone chucks in their share and then The One pays with her card and takes the cash

that person should obviously be paying the tip too!

Tap water is lovely in Yorkshire too. I don't drink fizzy drinks really, so like a jug of tap water with ice and lemon to slow down the rate of wine consumption, so I'm not pissed by the time we've had the starter more than anything.

I could quite easily drink a pint or two of water as well as a glass or two of wine during a meal and that could really add up in some places. I don't think it's tight to not want to spend over a fiver on a couple of glasses of water.

I never buy bottled water. what a waste (literally. they are filling up our landfills).

Not if it's a glass bottle, which tends to be how water comes in nicer establishments.

My point is that in my opinion, it's pretty cheap going into a restaurant, especially a fancier place, and not paying for any drinks.