Splitting the bill

[Fallingovercliffs]

I know this topic probably comes up every Christmas but how do people feel about this?
I was out with some friends a couple of nights ago and we all had more or less the same amount of food and drink, but when the bill came someone took out their phone and started calculating who had what and how much each person owed. A couple of us said 'Look, we'll just split it. Less complicated' but they insisted on doing the 'Susan didn't have a starter. John had a beer before the rest of us got here' stuff.
AIBU to think this is incredibly petty?
Obviously if someone wasn't drinking I'd make sure they didn't pay for any of the wine. Or if I ordered a very expensive main course I'd insist on throwing in a few extra quid. But otherwise, just split the bill!!

Once on a night out with work the drinks bill was seperate from the food. We were all asked for £11 whereas I had on small glass of cheap cola since I was driving. Some people were already tipsy on bottles of wine and pints. When I pointed this out I was being a killjoy apparently.

I much prefer to pay for what I've had. On Saturday my department had its Christmas meal. As a non drinker (tap water) I was still expected to split the bill with everyone else annoyingly.

Definatly buy drinks separately.

Then pay for what you have eaten. No splitting bills if you don't want to. Just put your amount plus a tip in the middle of the table and get your coat on.

Develop a thick skin it's ace.

I think if you are going out to dinner with a bunch of friends its the norm to split it, but probably, because they are friends, they will insist that it reflects what you've had, though possibly not to the penny.

If its people you don't really know, or on a work thing I think in accepting the invitation you've agreed to an equal bill splitting, sadly, even if you've only had one veggie main and tap water and the rest of them are on 3 courses and wine.

Bloody hell well if I was driving and had one main course I would to be splitting with the over eaters and the pissed just because I was attending my works do and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my indulgences.

Sod that. How rude.

It really depends on the situation, but perhaps the person who wanted to split was thinking of someone else who had eaten/drunk less than the others. I am the one who usually has a cheap meal (allergic to LOTS of stuff, so tend to end up with the simplest/cheapest meal on the menu and almost always no pudding) and I hate to bring it up because of fears that people will think it's 'petty' so have probably never been subsidised by anyone but I imagine the total I have subbed others probably runs to the hundreds of pounds.

So many people seem absolutely convinced that everyone has had the same without noticing that some main courses cost half the price of others or that someone sharing a bottle of wine will have cost considerably less than the one knocking back cocktails. I always think that if any one member of the group wants to calculate and pay for what they have had, then this how it should be done. At least that option means nobody pays for more than they have had and I would rather everyone felt as though things were fair than worry about pettiness.

No, on this occasion four of us had the exact same main course and the other two had a pasta dish and they were all in the €12-€15 bracket. Everyone had a starter and none of the starters were very expensive or had a supplement added. We shared a few desserts between us and apart from one beer ordered before dinner, we stuck to wine with everyone's glasses being topped up regularly. After all the time consuming calculation I think there was only a difference of a few euro between everyone's share.

I've been to dinner with friends in early pregnancy so was nursing a drink, but hasn't told people I was pg.

I had three people ask if I was pregnant, made to feel scrutinised and very uncomfortable, but at the same time they were happy to ask me for £50 towards the humongous drinks bill they had racked up - on top of the food!! I couldn't say anything as I didn't want to draw any more attention to myself so I coughed up!

I think paying for your own drinks separately is the way forward.

I always insist on paying separately now, after the following happened:

A relatively large family group went out for dinner at a restaurant recommended by one of the married couples in the family. It was towards the end of a holiday, so we were all watching the last few spending pennies. 3 of us agreed to get the 3 cheapest dishes and share them between us - we had just enough money to cover this and add a tip in.

The couple who suggested the restaurant ordered a couple of expensiveextra dishes, as they were apparently traditional for the area, and were really delicious (they weren't!).

When the bill came, we all put in enough to cover what we'd ordered, plus tip. It came up short. After some discussion, it turned out this couple had expected all of us to pay for these extra dishes that they had ordered for us to try. They got really quite upset when we pointed out our lack of cash. They did pay for the extras in the end, because nobody else had the money, but it was with bad grace on the part of one of them.

If they had said at the time that they were intending to order on our behalf, then we could have discussed it and come to a decision together. But to just order for us without checking we wanted it and then expecting us to pay for something we didn't actually request was a bit cheeky.

Wow, I'm feeling very lucky reading this thread. My friends and I always split, but take into account roughly who has had what, the big drinkers will always put in extra and if someone isn't drinking or has only had one course they are encouraged by the others to put less in. (But as most of us are drinkers it's usually a straight split!). I suppose it's a mix between the two, but self policed so nobody has to get out the calculator and everyone is happy.

I did go to some hideous meals when I was younger, but don't seem to be friends with those people anymore!

I tend to avoid this situation now by a) only going out with close friends or b) if it's a class Mums night out we tend to stick to a set menu place and c) if it's a group thing I leave the car at home as if I'm going to have to pay for alcohol I'm damn well going to make sure I drink my share.

The worst situation I had was out on a hen do with some people I scarcely knew, it was a set menu not overly expensive, they split one meal between two for a number of them, drunk like fishes then scarpered off leaving the exact amount for half a meal each, zero for wine, zero for a tip. I tend to find that people that want to pay less than their fair share also have a stingy attitude towards tipping.

What I do find annoying now is the one child bill splitting issue.
We go away with friends and they each have 2 DCs whereas we have one. I didn't mind splitting the bill evenly so much when they were younger and all ate off childrens menus as DH tends to have an expensive menu item and it evened out, but now their DCs are older and one of them eats off the adult menu, plus they have multiple soft drinks whereas DS prefers tap water.

Cross posted smufingreat - I'm not friends with people like that any more either and have a nose now for sniffing out when I'm likely to be ripped off so avoid those situations.

I'm veggie and pregnant, so just drink water, and always the bill is split. I don't ever argue with this but it is unfair. I'd prefer to split it to keep the peace but it's always nice if someone acknowledges that it's not fair!

Hmm.

Ok. 10-15 years ago when I was earning good money (£40k+ and so was partner) I used to think this. Fgs, just split it.

Now, DH and I are skint. Seriously skint. Huge difference between splitting the bill and just paying for what we can actually afford. Now, I know someone is going to say, well if you can't afford to share a split bill then don't go. But that's the thing! We'd never go out if that was the case.

It's embarrassing for us when we do go out, mentally both work out what the cheapest thing is we can eat (and drink), mentally work out we only owe about £12 each (which is doable) then some bright spark says, Brilliant, we'll split it, that's £25 each.

Actually, do you know what, the main thing is embarrassment. We're embarrassed that we're poor and can't afford the split you've all just worked out. So cut people some slack please.

My worst story happened a month ago. There were 10 of us, a nice round number, and the bill came to £178. The lady who suggested that particular restaurant offered to organise payment and suggested we all put £20 so there would be a decent 10% tip for the staff.

9 of us handed over our £20 and the lady went to pay for everything. Later, as we left, I saw the receipt on the table. She had only paid £180 and had therefore used our "tip" money to pay for her own meal.

I left extra tip because I felt embarrassed. Mr Fickle later casually mentioned it to her and she said that there was enough money to cover the bill so she didn't need to add more. She honestly didn't think there was anything wrong.

Here in Germany, you always split the bill - your waiter/waitress does the individual adding up at the table, each person pays their bit and adds whatever tip they want. It's completely normal and not a faff or fuss at all.

OP - so what if the difference is only a few euro? At what point do you decide that it's too much of a difference?

We always get separate checks. It's just easier, we each pay for what we have, and the server calculates it.

I remember going for a birthday meal, my 'friends' ordered a bottle of champagne and drunk it amongst themselves then wanted to split the bill.

Yes that's right, I'll pay for your champagne on MY birthday.

I have been out for meals with various different groups of people and we have always paid for our own food/drink plus a bit extra for the tip. It's never been discussed, we just work it out when the bill arrives.

This happened to me recently

I explained we couldn't afford to split it; we didn't have starters, I had to leave before dessert. Another person ordered DH 2 side dishes as his meal 'wasn't big enough' - I'd left enough money for ours plus a bit of tip - but with the sides we were a pound or two short

I was mortified when DH said; but the others people just said forget it & I am still embarrassed

I normally just would say to split it and I don't drink.

Last time my friends and I went out I suggested we just split it for ease until one of my friends piped up and said 'whoa you had a £10 main course and water and we've all had wine and a dessert - don't be so bloody daft!'. Although out of 8 folk she was the only one who pegged that I probably shouldn't have paid the £25 initially suggested . But, saying that, I just assume I'll split when we go out and would have been too embarrassed to suggest I paid less because I ate less.

I have to say that if splitting the bill is suggested I usually point out that I've have 3 courses inc steak and wine and that I should pay more. I know it can be more difficult to calculate but I go out to spend time with my friends not for them to sub me the cost of my meal.

Fickle that's taking the piss what a cow!

You lot are all too nice.

You keep account of your food order and tot it up do you know your part of the Bill. Add tip. Drinks from the bar.

Put your money in the centre of the table. Coat on. Job done.

If you're out with the same folk regularly, and know that it evens out across a couple of meetings because I drive this time, you're on a diet next time, then I'd be splitting it.

If it's a one-off and / or you're likely to feel short-changed (literally) because you're the water-drinking, veggie-side-salad-for-main diner, then incumbent on you to suggest the payment plan at the start. Not because I think we all should split the bill equally or not - but because if you think we should do something specific then you tell us, not expect us to guess correctly.

Well it's hardly fair to the non alcohol drinkers on juice/soda or water all night to foot the bill for the wine drinkers is it? Or for the person who only had a main footing the bill for those who had a full three course meal.

I'm also veggie so my meals generally cost a lot less than meat ones. When we go out we just pay for our own, fairer that way. If alcohol has been shared we split the alcohol bill in half and do it that way.