Splitting the bill

[Fallingovercliffs]

I know this topic probably comes up every Christmas but how do people feel about this?
I was out with some friends a couple of nights ago and we all had more or less the same amount of food and drink, but when the bill came someone took out their phone and started calculating who had what and how much each person owed. A couple of us said 'Look, we'll just split it. Less complicated' but they insisted on doing the 'Susan didn't have a starter. John had a beer before the rest of us got here' stuff.
AIBU to think this is incredibly petty?
Obviously if someone wasn't drinking I'd make sure they didn't pay for any of the wine. Or if I ordered a very expensive main course I'd insist on throwing in a few extra quid. But otherwise, just split the bill!!

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat I too tend to drink tap water when out to slow down my alcohol consumption, however my point was about people who only ordered tap water when dining in a restaurant.

But bottled water isn't as nice as the tap water, which is lovely where I live krystellie. Its also very environmentally unfriendly.

Good post by DoJo

Not if it's a glass bottle, which tends to be how water comes in nicer establishments.

glass isn't magical. it needs to be wasted or processed as well.

My point is that in my opinion, it's pretty cheap going into a restaurant, especially a fancier place, and not paying for any drinks.

noted. I disagree.

I usually just split and do find it annoying when people quibble too much about completely petty things (example, a friend once calculated how many pieces of naan bread she had eaten!) However I do also get annoyed when big drinkers/steak and multiple sides eaters etc want me to subsidise them. So I guess I'm for splitting evenly if your consumption is in the same ball park and paying on a more individual basis if the range is too wide to be fair.

Whenever we go out, we just tell the waiter ahead of time we're all on separate tabs. Then we order what we want and we each get our individual check at the end of the meal. Works out perfectly.

I think people should pay for what they eat. I don't think it's fair that my friend who is a sahm on a budget should sub someone else's big drink habit. When I have dined with large groups, I always land up getting stung. I once had to pay 80 quid for a salad and a glass of wine due to bill splitting. obviously the women who ordered themselves lots of extras and expensive glasses of wine sat quietly on the sidelines when the bill arrived and didn't offer to put in anything extra. (I would never do that, I am way too polite) the only way I would split bills would be with close friends but it is more likely to be a 'I pay this time/you pay next time' than bill splitting. if I dine out with a very large party I now ask for a separate bill.

If it's friends and people who I actually care about then I don't mind splitting the bill, and will order accordingly so I don't feel hard done by at the end. If it's a work night out, or a party with lots of people who I don't know, then I'll often just have a cheap soft drink and a main. In those cases I firmly object to paying extra for what I haven't eaten. I don't care if people think I'm stingy, I'm not subsidising people who I don't particularly like!

In a busy restaurant though - particularly now as they are inundated with "Christmas do's" a lot of restaurants just aren't willing to have you pay separately for drinks or write out 20 separate bills when they can just bung it all on the one bill.

I think the best approach is splitting it equally, then working out together 'X didn't drink so should pay a bit less, Y had the most expensive main so should pay a bit more' etc etc. But it only works if everyone is honest and on the ball.

I used to be a school governor and we used to go for a termly dinner. Usually we were able to organise it so we paid a set amount for the meal eg £20 for three courses and then we had a kitty for wine. So if you wanted to drink wine you put something in the kitty. It did mean you were relying a bit on people being honest and if they'd had about £10's worth putting a tenner in. But then you had people starting to say they didn't want the £20 set menu and only wanted tap water and a bowl of nuts and then it got more difficult. Sometimes it really is easier to get everyone to pay for their own separately.

I usually find that I am the first person to leave because I am a dormouse and need my bed - so then I tot up what I've eaten and drunk and leave money + service charge contribution with someone. If they then have another 5 bottles of wine, they can pay for them.

In a busy restaurant though - particularly now as they are inundated with "Christmas do's" a lot of restaurants just aren't willing to have you pay separately for drinks or write out 20 separate bills when they can just bung it all on the one bill.

i think that works against wait staff. from above, we have seen that when splitting tipping is the first casualty. thus, I think wait staff would do better separating the bill for everyone.

As a teenager I went out on a 'date' with a guy I'd met the night before and his workmates. I didn't really fancy the guy but I had nothing better to do so I went out with him (young and shallow back then!!)

We went to a posh restaurant, it was a set menu but still pricy and more than me on my £10 Saturday job could really afford. Anyway, the biill came and I offered to pay for my meal and the twat guy took my money, despite inviting me out and telling me it was on him, he knew I was at 6 th form college and skint

Needless to say, I told him what he could do with his offer when he dropped me home and asked to see me again. This wasn't helped by the fact I got fucking food poisoning from the prawn cocktail.....he rang the next day and I got my Dad to tell him to bugger off, he then asked if I was ok as everyone else who had eaten the prawns were poorly!!!!

(And yes, I know, it serves me right for going out with him in the first place )

People who insist on dividing up restaurant bills morsel by morsel make me cringe.

Unless someone has had a bottle of Krug and two chateaubriand steaks to themselves just split the bill equally.

Squoosh Put yourself in the position of the person who only has a small budget to eat out with. They have enough for a modestly priced main, one cheap drink and a tip, say £15.

At the same restaurant, their dining companion might have a starter, a more expensive main, a side and two drinks, of a more expensive type than the other person. This could easily come to £30 or more.

Why should the first person spend a lot more than they can afford, for food they didn't even have, simply to be polite and avoid being 'cringy'?

My experience is that people who are adamant about only paying for what they ordered often forget the tip needs splitting too. It irritates me having to put in extra money to cover a tip because some people refuse to. It seems that people just forget to add the 12.5% on to their meal.

I only go out for meals with friends who are happy to split, knowing that we'll all pretty much balance out between courses, drinks, etc.

Now drinks rounds on the other hand....Don't get me started!!

Well obviously if one person has only had one course and one drink they're not going to pay the same amount as the person who's had three courses and a bucket of booze.

I like Nandos for groups you can pay individually upfront so no problem of splitting.

I think it's about people just being fair and decent. I was out on Saturday night and was the only one not driving so I had two glasses of wine with my meal. I insisted on paying extra when the bill was split, even though the other three were saying 'no, no we'll just split it'.
Most people, in my experience do the same.
I think going to either extreme is annoying - the people who guzzle loads of wine and order the fillet steak and just sit back and allow someone who had one glass of wine and a pasta dish to pay an equal amount to them; and the people who take out a calculator and start working out who had a cup of coffee and who didn't, and whose main course cost £15 and whose cost £15.50.

I think splitting the bill is ok if you roughly have the same.But non drinkers seem to forget that soft drinks are almost as dear as alcohol.

Usually I'm totally fine with splitting the bill - but if mine is a bit more expensive than other people's I will insist on putting more money in. If its the other way round I would tell them not to worry about it.

One exception was when I went on a boozy lunch with DP and some of his work colleagues who I had never met before. NEVER AGAIN! They spent the whole time boasting about how much money they had and made a big show of ordering the most expensive wine on the menu. They had bottles and bottles of the stuff! They ordered the most expensive food too (including one particularly obnoxious man who liked the look of his friend's lobster so much that he ordered one after he had finished desert). They then ordered copious amounts of brandy etc. They didn't have one conversation that I felt I could participate in and they took regular smoke breaks leaving us alone. I had 2 beers and the cheapest main on the menu. At the end of the meal they all wanted to just split it. That came to £150 EACH! So I politely said I'd put in what I had spent plus an extra £10 (coming to £30). They shrugged their shoulders and didn't really care (because they had sooo much money!). It was the most clear cut case of more money than sense I have ever seen!!

The groups I go out with all order and pay separately. We tot up what we owe, add on an extra amount for the tip and put it in the middle of the table. One of us will take charge of the cash and make sure it's all there plus tip.

Works well. And given our groups can have people with really different budgets, I think this is perfectly fair.

It's not on to expect other people to subsidize your large meal or drinks bill.

There's no need to "spoil the evening" by "getting calculators out": each person just tots up their own order and puts that in with agreed extra amount for tip.

I was on works dinner out once, and there were enquiries such as "Are we having starters?" and "Are we having dessert?" which alerted me to bill splitting situation coming up later. So, yes, I blooming well did have starters and dessert.
However, I (and a couple of others) didn't drink, while the rest ordered bottle after bottle of wine. Someone said it was too complex and annoying to work things out, but someone else - a drinker - insisted that it was unfair to expect the non drinkers to share in the wine bill. There was a bit of a disagreement, but she stuck to her guns and did the totting up. I was eternally grateful to her.

The next time, without prompting, we all took out the exact money we owed plus contribution to tip!

"People who insist on dividing up restaurant bills morsel by morsel make me cringe.

Unless someone has had a bottle of Krug and two chateaubriand steaks to themselves just split the bill equally."

Do you find it too hard to keep track of what you have spent yourself?

No whatsthatcomingoverthehill I don't find it hard to keep track of what I've eaten thanks. I would just hate to be on those sad examples who is terrified they're being swindled out of £4.52.