To feel uneasy about spending 30k on a wedding

[Kab13]

Posted before about a NYE wedding.
The venue has doubled in price. £5,500 for use of a mill, from 12 noon until 1am.
This would to be expected if they were hiring staff etc, but it's JUST for the venue.
The catering comes in a £2,546 for 80 guests. It's not that bad at all really. (IMO)
However from the start we've decided it's fairer to put our guests up at a local hotel ( premier inn) if we choose NYE, i don't think it's fair to expect people to pay either very expensive taxi fairs home (a lot of people are traveling) or to pay for a hotel and taxi fairs to a hotel.
We found a huge cottage, we wanted to hire this for 38 of our close family members and that's come in very pricey too as we have to hire it for 3 days over NYE. but that part, spending a couple of days with my loved ones was so important.
But, totalled it all up and it's about 22k BEFORE photography, linen, cutlery and crockery hire, flowers, invitations AND honeymoon.
I can see this costing 30k, and that is something that makes me feel guilty for.
A huge amount of that money is being spent on accommodation for our guests (6k and 80 guests inc children) but is feel unreasonable expecting others to cough up for it.
It's so much money but dp is set on NYE now.
Let the flamings begin.

with the caveat : New Years Eve is a stupid date for a wedding.
Move the date and have a blast.

I would rethink NYE. Save yourself 10k. Nye is not important to a lot of people. All it means is that you pay a premium for the same service.

We got married on a Sunday as it was cheaper than the Saturday.

hahaha.

£30k????

£6k on accommodation???

Our entire wedding cost less than £6k and we had a photo featured in Vogue (that's how gorgeous our photography was, and how happy we were on the day)

You're bonkers. Jesus. Even if you have £30k spare, you should imo then be saving it for your kids' education (or a deposit for them for a house)

Oh. And when you've spent £30k, just bear in mind. I was devastated when 8 people we had paid for didn't show last minute, all that waste. What happens when your guests pull out (which some of them definitely definitely will, it's what happens) You are not going to be best pleased.

It. Is. One. Day.

Kab I think I was on your last thread. The mill is lovely but they're taking the piss on NYE!

weekday weddings are ok in school hols but out of school hols anyone with school age children will struggle to get them out of school because of the Gove rules on taking kids out in term time. (fines of £60 per parent per child).

the price of weekday weddings has gone down because of this and weekends have gone up. the tie in with caterers or bars is just a con imo. book somewhere where you can bring your own caterer and your own bar or you will be paying through the nose.

fairy read the thread.
I'm not spending 30k on a wedding.

If you can afford it then there is nothing wrong with spending a lot of money, our wedding cost a fortune, it was an amazing day and neither DH and I, or my lovely parents who paid for a big chunk of it, regret a penny.

But - ditch the NYE idea, its a bit 'me me me' and even if you are paying for everything its still a hassle for guests trying to travel that time of year, fitting it in around Christmas etc.

Reconsider what kind of venue you have. Everyone I know who has had a wedding where they paid for a venue, then organised caterer/tables/booze/flowers/linen etc etc etc on top has arrived at their wedding day exhausted with all the planning. A hotel reception where they organise everything and you just turn up having told them what you want is so much easier and means you can just enjoy the day.

They are taking the piss. Royally.
Puts me off the venue all together. I think it's greedy. They aren't paying for staffing or anything just running their hands together.

That's the title of your thread, I was simply replying.

So YABU.

Kab13. midweek weddings are now cheaper because of the holidays in term time issue. if you have kids then they may get the time off authorised but other family members are highly likely not to and you said there would be about 15 children at the wedding. in which case either their parents have to call them in sick, pay up the fine, or find someone to mind them. as someone said upthread, it isn't one day off its at least 2. I would suggest you discuss with your close family who have kids what they think about a midweek in term time and taking the kids out before you go ahead and put down a deposit. have pm ed you.

Weekday weddings are cheaper.

With 15 DC expected - be aware that unless its in school holidays - there may well be an huge issue with any school aged DC being able to attend - wouldn't be classed as extenuating circumstances so getting time of school and avoiding parental fines might be hard - ( depends on school and county I think).

I do think your wise to rethink things and then decide where you want to spend money and how much rather than just getting blown along with an ever increasing bill.

x -posts with everyone else point that out - have to learnt to type quicker.

Thanks everyone for you help.
I think I'm going to crawl into a dark hole for a while and reevaluate my life wedding plans

I don't think it's that bad. I don't think it's unusual either- we spent that 8 years ago, as have many of our friends. OP obviously isn't in the market for a £2k wedding either way.

Kab13 message me again. will help with ideas. don't be bogged down you can sort this out

If I did a 2k wedding it'd be a registry office and a meal out as a pp mentioned.
If I tried to pull something off for 80 guests on a 2k budget I think it wouldn't be up my street to be honest.
Rather go out for a swanky meal with dp then cram my family into a community hall and feed them bacon rolls. But that's just me.

The only thing I would add is if you get married on NYE your anniversary will be on NYE so you will face the added cost problem every year if you want to go for dinner/ go away for a couple of nights.

OP obviously isn't in the market for a £2k wedding either way.

True - but if she spent 15-20 K and still managed her ideal day that no small saving compare to a bill of 30 K - or more likely 30 K +.

If yous can afford it & it won't have any negative impact money wise down the line just go for it & enjoy every second!

We had a 25k wedding (no debt from it) and alongside DS birth & my graduation, it's definately one of the best days of our lives & we don't regret a thing.

It's not about the money , it's about having the day that you both want & I think it's a wonderful idea to have your family altogether for 3 days.

bouncychair has a point - we can never find babysitters new year eve as everyone wants to be out including the DGP.

Suddenly realised I've been itching a mole on my back since July. Probably should go to the doctors and stop worrying about weddings.

Rather go out for a swanky meal with dp then cram my family into a community hall and feed them bacon rolls. But that's just me

Wow, what a bitchy comment. It just goes to show, it is all about showing off and not all about having your family there.

No, I just couldn't see being able to feed 80 people on anything but snacks for under 2k. I'd genuinely rather do a reg office and meal with my dp then desperately try and cater for a group of people I can't afford to.

Back track all you like, it's not what you wrote. What you wrote was sneery.