To feel uneasy about spending 30k on a wedding

[Kab13]

Posted before about a NYE wedding.
The venue has doubled in price. £5,500 for use of a mill, from 12 noon until 1am.
This would to be expected if they were hiring staff etc, but it's JUST for the venue.
The catering comes in a £2,546 for 80 guests. It's not that bad at all really. (IMO)
However from the start we've decided it's fairer to put our guests up at a local hotel ( premier inn) if we choose NYE, i don't think it's fair to expect people to pay either very expensive taxi fairs home (a lot of people are traveling) or to pay for a hotel and taxi fairs to a hotel.
We found a huge cottage, we wanted to hire this for 38 of our close family members and that's come in very pricey too as we have to hire it for 3 days over NYE. but that part, spending a couple of days with my loved ones was so important.
But, totalled it all up and it's about 22k BEFORE photography, linen, cutlery and crockery hire, flowers, invitations AND honeymoon.
I can see this costing 30k, and that is something that makes me feel guilty for.
A huge amount of that money is being spent on accommodation for our guests (6k and 80 guests inc children) but is feel unreasonable expecting others to cough up for it.
It's so much money but dp is set on NYE now.
Let the flamings begin.

[TalkinPeace]

Kab13
NOW I am jealous of your plan : it sounds utterly wonderful

[Kab13]

toby I was NEARLY insane enough to spend that amount. Nearly!

[Kab13]

talkin we will need a couple of witnesses
Actually don't know how I'm going to go about that bit...

[TalkinPeace]

Kab
Grab two random tour guides - with their umbrellas - and get the whole of their groups to cheer when you say "I do"
Unique, free, utterly memorable for you, them, the tourists and the venue

[Noellefielding]

To me it seems an extreme amount of money. We spent a few thousand on ours but we only had a sit down lunch and drinks and a v short honeymoon.
30K, seems excessive to me but one woman's excess is another woman's monthly cab fare budget.
I have never heard of paying for accommodation, that sounds egregious generous of you, and slightly demented. If you feel guilty tell them 'no gifts but pay your hotel bill!'.
People expect to pa a bit.
it seems a heartbreaking amount to me. But I am not a fan of 'her special special day', you don't sound like one of those brides, it just seems to me to be over the top all the expense.

[Noellefielding]

when I say a few thousand, I mean under 3!

[PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline]

Your new plan sounds lovely. I wish DH and I could have done something similar.

If you decide to get married in Dorset, I'll be a witness. Bath is a bit too far to travel.

[fussychica]

Don't do it!
The last wedding I went to which was amazing, the couple, who had been living together for years, were divorced in no time after the wedding. £££££s for a great day and little else .

[Bumbiscuits]

Elope!

The fanciest wedding I ever went to, at a castle that alone cost the couple £20k before adding catering, drinks etc was utterly fabulous, but the marriage lasted 18 months. One half of the couple worked away 50% of the time, so nine months of married life together.

[YvesJutteau]

People are always (OK, that may be an exaggeration, but a couple of times a year) posting on MN looking for witnesses. Post with the date and location and you'll get plenty of volunteers to turn up and witness. Or go out and grab someone off the street (or more prosaically I think the various backroom staff at a register office are used to stepping in and being witnesses).