Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly furious beyond belief with dh

164 replies

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 30/11/2014 17:06

Last year I got all the Xmas decs the Christmassy singing soft toys, lights decorations and stuff I've been collecting over the years including stuff from when the kids were born and boxed them up. It turns out DH 'thought' it was rubbish and has took it all to the tip. I've got nothing Hmm
I feel so upset and utterly angry as his thoughtless stupidity has caused me upset and will cost money to replace and this is not the first time it's happened with precious or valuable stuff.
He just doesn't get why I'm so upset and is trying to blame me by saying well I thought you were putting it up the loft

OP posts:
clam · 01/12/2014 19:11

I would make him pay for a trip to an expensive gift shop/Christmas market in order to re-stock. Granted though, that that won't help with the sentimental family heirlooms.

But the baby stuff!!! I would find it very hard to get over that.

Itsfab · 01/12/2014 19:13

Once could be an accident but twice is on purpose. Surely you would double check after the first time before taking stuff to the tip. It isn't about decorations. It is about him thinking your stuff doesn't matter. Does he think you don't matter too?

waithorse · 01/12/2014 19:21

I would be so upset. Silly though, it's only things, but still. Sad

rockybalboa · 01/12/2014 19:21

I would be utterly livid. A lot of our Christmas decorations have huge sentimental value.

YvesJutteau · 01/12/2014 19:24

He did it on purpose. If it were once given that an actual trip to the tip is required I'd reckon 5:1 that he did it on purpose, but twice?

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 01/12/2014 19:26

"Summerisle1: Given how unpopular journeys to the tip are I am another person who fails to see the accidental element to this."

God I bloody LOVE going to the tip - swinging that crap over the side and out of your life "Goodbyeeeee"!

But for all that I relish a tip trip - I double/triple check what I'm taking, the same with DH. Sorry but as PP have said: who makes the effort to load up a car, drive there and back without checking what the heck they're binning?!

Personally if I were you, after I'd finished with him, there'd be two less baubles I'd need to buy for the tree...

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2014 20:46

No I don't hoard at all I HATE clutter what I don't do is just toss out useful or precious stuff

OP posts:
Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2014 21:52

I'm fuming now. He's apologised to me and ended it with 'don't leave stuff lying around' and 'well you said you were putting it in the loft' so basically sorry but it's not my fault.
He really is a prize cunt.
Is this worth salvaging

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 01/12/2014 21:58

Does he leave his golf clubs "lying around" OP Or are they sellotaped to the ceiling.

I think this is about much more than Christmas decorations and Halloween costumes (lets not forget hes done this twice) its about a lack of respect for you and your property.

Does he like Christmas OP? Or does he hate it.

MrsPnut · 01/12/2014 22:00

I'd be furious but I never store things in cardboard boxes because I live with a numpty. I make sure all decorations and items to keep are in plastic labelled containers so he can find them in the loft and also so he can't claim to know what's in them.

Don't let him blame you though, it's his fault entirely and he should be replacing the lot.

travailtotravel · 01/12/2014 22:10

Hide his golf clubs somewhere he can't find them. See how he likes it.

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2014 22:21

Once again I'm hoping with fury.
I might just might have done something very childish but it's going go get me through

OP posts:
Electriclaundryland · 01/12/2014 22:23

Uh oh, what have you done? Golf clubs?

ChippingInAutumnLover · 01/12/2014 22:25

It's not about replacing it though, much of it is irreplaceable - collected over years with sentimental attachment.

As I said before, there's no way I could be in a relationship with someone so nasty and stupid.

Up to you what you decide, but it would be the straw for me.

Millie3030 · 01/12/2014 22:31

There must be something HE doesn't put away, something he annoying leaves lying about? I once put everything my DH left out in one bag and put it in the shed. It included several pairs of shoes, a couple of mugs with a little bit of tea in the bottom, a half eaten yoghurt pot and spoon, his tie, keys, charger, keys, satsuma skin, and a loo roll tube.

Darkesteyes · 01/12/2014 22:33

Oh What have you done.

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2014 22:35

I'm so ashamed of myself but really laughing at the same time.
I've put a laughing cow triangle in
The toe part of his work bootBlush

OP posts:
pointythings · 01/12/2014 22:37

We need to know what you have done... I think we are likely to agree that he deserves it. What he said to you was passive aggressive gaslighting bullshit. I wouldn't have thought anything was salvageable after that, to be honest.

pointythings · 01/12/2014 22:38

Is that all???

You're too bloody nice. Smile
In your place I'd have made sure his golf clubs were toast.

Darkesteyes · 01/12/2014 22:42

Is that it Confused

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 01/12/2014 22:46

I have a friend whose dh is a complete neat freak and goes round the house tidying up and binning clutter. Hair bands, hair clips, brooches, necklaces, scarves, both hers and her little dd's. Basically anything that isn't his. Absolutely no fucking respect for anybody else's things. But that's just the tip of the iceberg with them. Hmm

EugenesAxe · 01/12/2014 22:47

For the first time ever I'm glad DH is a hoarder. YANBU... yes they are just things, but still. I would be LIVID.

Millie3030 · 01/12/2014 22:51

Where are his work boots? are they put away tidily? If so, take the cheese triangle out and do something better! He must leave something laying around, then at least it's similar, tit for tat.

PumpkinsMummy · 01/12/2014 23:08

sorry, but that is pish retaliation. Does he have any carefully collected and treasured items? Box them up and stash them somewhere. Deny all knowledge of touching them. Eventually tell him they were in the box of xmas items he "accidentally" took to the tip.

Or, take all his golf clubs to the pro shop and have them alter the grip. Even better, swap them for exactly the same clubs but left handed/an inch longer. Do this EVERY time he takes them to be re-gripped/altered until he gets really fed up and stops playing. If you are going to do revenge, do it properly!

WaitingForMe · 01/12/2014 23:41

A friend of mine ended her marriage over a dress. I ended my first marriage because my ex told me I wasn't funny. Something has to be the last straw.

Accidents happen and my DH has done some pretty terrible things but each and every time he has felt awful. I can (and have) forgiven most things but the day he does something and isn't sorry he hurt me and has actual plans to make amends, it's over.