To want to know the honest truth about how much your DH does around the house?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Because I am so tired of mine being shite at housework. To clarify, he works 9-5.30 in a very physical job, leaves at 8.00am and gets home at 6 so he is tired. He generally works 5 full days a week...and he does jack shit in the house.

I work from home on average about 3 hours per day. I do the school runs on public transport with 2 dds. All the housework and all the basic stuff for the DDs such as taking them to their dance lessons on weekends doing their homework with them and most of the shopping and all of the cooking.

DH does a supermarket run once a week and the DIY things. He does take the DDs swimming or to the park on a Sunday and he really enjoys that.

He mucks in a tiny bit with bedtimes sometimes.

Is this fair? He had a go at me this morning due to the recycling not being sorted into their tubs ready to go out. I maintain that he should do that as I do ALL THE OTHER STUFF and I hate doing recycling. I put it outside in bags....he could then put it into the correct tubs and carry them out but he thinks I should sort them into their tubs ready for him to put out.

Is he a lazy fuck or am I being overly demanding given that he works 6 days a week? I don't mind doing the cleaning and cooking as to be fair, 3 hours work per day at home is hardly back breaking and I'm here anyway aren't I? But surely he could do the recycling!?

i am a sahp to 3 boys. 2 primary aged and a toddler. I do a bit of seasonal work but only about 4 hours per week max and not every week. dh is out 12 hours a day mon to friday.
He will occassionally wash up. maybe once or twice a month. He will cook maybe once at the weekend. He gets his own food during the week leaving the mess for me to clean up.
He does all the diy and garden. Hardly onorous this time of the year.
He will occassionally do the rubbish.
He does hardly any childcare when home and never does bedtime.
i am pretty pissed off with it at the moment.

I'm a SAHM and usually I do what I can in the day and he just mucks in when he gets home, does whatever he sees that needs doing such as putting a load of laundry in, washing up, sorting out the bins and getting DS ready for bed. We have no 'set jobs' although I will usually cook dinner on his work days and he will do it on his days off. At the moment though I'm heavily pregnant and have had unrelenting HG so he has taken over most things for the last few months. If I'm having an okay day and manage to get a couple of jobs done then great, if not he does it when he can.

My dh does far more than I do.

He does all of the cooking & shopping, most of the washing & ironing & cleaning. He won't let me near the dishwasher as he hates the way I load it. He also does all sporting activities during the week and at the weekend.

He works from home about 3 days per week and I usually do 2.

Although I do barely any domestic stuff, I am the homework supervisor and chief disciplinarian. I'm away all next week which means dh will have to do parents' evening alone. He's already suggested skyping me in!

I also do all the finances. If you asked my dh who our mortgage is with, he wouldn't be sure.

Mine will do a lot if I ask bag
Off his own back, not so much!

Nag not bag!

I work 3 days; dh works ft. Because he occasionally gardens and does a tiny bit of diy, he considers that he is exempt from any housework. He does cook though, I will let him have that. I do the following:

• clean
• do all laundry and put it away (he iron)
• tidy (dh is the worst offender for messiness)
• we share school runs when it is a working day for both of us but on my non working days I do it and this year two schools are involved
• maintain the calendar
• organise and take to swimming/music lessons etc
• shop
• vacuum, sweep daily
• take out recycling
• organise homework

I am exhausted. I have been ill this week and have still done all of the above and worked. I am "putting it on" and I am over stressed with work (true: I am in a more senior position than dh) so require no sympathy.

I am utterly fed up and when dh asks me things like "where to we keep the dishwasher tablets these days I just want to cry.

DH works really long hours and travels a lot. He does very little around the house and I am perfectly happy with the arrangement. I have a cleaner several times a week and a Gardner once a week. I do most the DIY because I enjoy it but if I wanted help I would pay someone. He works considerably more hours than I do.

My DC are at uni now but when they were younger I preferred DH to spend his free time with them than doing chores.

OP, it sounds like your DH is doing his share. He is out the house for 60 hours a week for work! That's a lot especially if he does a supermarket shop too.

I would be pissed off with him about having a go at you over the recycling though - it shows a lack of respect. It seems a shame for you to be falling out over a job that probably only takes a few minutes.

Mine puts the washing on every morning ( I often have to do it again though ) and at the weekend he will tidy up and sweep the floors. Other than that he doesn't do much, he will wash up at the weekend and in the mornings, he thinks he does a lot more but the t Ruth is he is usually tired and falls asleep watching sport on the tv. He never cooks ( doesn't know how too ) and if I'm out at lunch time he won't make himself lunch. He's never bathed the kids or put them to bed ( other than when I have been really ill ).

Dh does all the cooking and most of cleaning. He also does most of the childcare.

He doesn't expect me to help him out but I do with childcare.

Sorcha, I disagree completely. If one person works to allow the other not to then the person at home should pick up the bulk of the household tasks. I'd not be impressed if DH expected to both not work to help with the financial burden and only do a few household jobs. It doesn't take long so the person home would have far more free time after doing said chores.

When I was a stay-at-home-parent, I spent the bulk of my time doing things with the children, which meant I had about as much time for housework as my partner, who went out to work. Therefore I thought it was fair for each of us to do 50% of the housework.

I think it's a really important equality issue because in most families the man earns more and it's the woman who stays at home with the children. The hours that women spend working in childcare and housework usually far outnumber the hours men spend working outside (and inside) the home. Moreover, women's labour in the home is still terribly undervalued.

I think it's really problematic that the person who stays at home with the kids is expected to take on most of the other housework too. Childcare is 24/7 and unpaid, and too many working partners (usually men) persist in thinking that their financial contribution to the household exempts them from most other forms of labour.

I'm ranting again, but I really think that most assumptions about the labour responsibilities of SAHMs are profoundly sexist: women are expected to work longer hours than men, for less (or no) pay. As usual.

I dont think if one person is at home that the other one should come home to a messy home.

I do most of the everyday stuff. He does the bins, looks after the car and DIY.

Dh doesn't do much around the house (although I'm sure he'd disagree). I do all the cooking, cleaning, hoovering, bathing kids, night feeds and 99% of the washing. I pay the bills, go through our bank accounts regularly, sort out our monthly budget and write all shopping lists.

Dh occasionally folds clean washing (then dumps it on the stairs), empties the bins around once every two weeks, most of the food shopping, takes our 7 year old for her swimming lesson, most DIY and holds the baby while I make tea/go to the toilet/put a wash on etc etc. he also does all the gardening in summer.

He works 5 days a week from 6am-2pm and I will be working 3 days a week 9.30 - 4.45 so I will still do a bit more but not everything like I do now.

At the moment I'm on maternity leave so don't mind picking up most of the household jobs but he can fuck off if he thinks it'll continue when I go back to work!

DP does almost everything. He does most of the cleaning and tidying and all of the cooking (except for a few meals). We both work full-time, although my shifts can be more antisocial.

DP likes doing the housework and loves cooking, but I think I'll need to do more housework as although he insists on doing it, it doesn't feel fair that he does so much. I'm not good at cooking so I'm happy for him to stick with that.

Must add, I'm not lazy, I do all of the driving (DP can't drive) and pick up a lot of the things we need from the shops. I just think I should do more of the cleaning as I feel guilty not helping out, even though I'm told it's okay!

Sounds a good deal, Jack.

Forgot to mention, mine does the occasional spag bol.

I look at it slightly differently - my DH doesn't do a lot of housework neither do I but I have far, far more 'free' time than he does. He is self employed, does three very different jobs which take up a lot of time, energy and skill. I have a part time job. I do most of the cleaning and cooking, our DS is a teenager now so there is not a lot of 'child care' involved but DH has always done loads with our DS - taking him to activities & sports matches, away on weekends/holidays etc.

We share household 'admin', DH does banking/financial stuff (of course I have full access ), booking holidays etc. I renew insurance policies and dull stuff like that. DH does all the gardening and a bit of DIY. Niether of us are really interested in that sort of stuff. I do the shopping as supermarket shopping is a great hobby of mine .

In terms of time spent doing our 'individual' hobbies and interests I have loads more time to do what I want to than DH does.

I do the admin as well, else it wouldn't get done!

Actually my DH enjoys cooking but I don't like eating the sort of food he cooks so prefer to do it myself .

Ha I bet he burns the food on purpose

Mine does everything except laundry and anything involving the DC.

chock - no, he's honestly a very good cook but just not the sort of food I like - think baked sea bass and fresh veg when I am a sausage and mash sort of person .

Bath - really, do you mean your DH doesn't do anything at all with the DC? Don't you ever go out and leave them to it?

I wouldn't have kept my sanity if DH hadn't taken full responsibility for his own child at weekends - he did everything, bar breast feeding and I mix fed so that I could have some time to myself .

You are at Home Tho, whats the problem?