To want to know the honest truth about how much your DH does around the house?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Because I am so tired of mine being shite at housework. To clarify, he works 9-5.30 in a very physical job, leaves at 8.00am and gets home at 6 so he is tired. He generally works 5 full days a week...and he does jack shit in the house.

I work from home on average about 3 hours per day. I do the school runs on public transport with 2 dds. All the housework and all the basic stuff for the DDs such as taking them to their dance lessons on weekends doing their homework with them and most of the shopping and all of the cooking.

DH does a supermarket run once a week and the DIY things. He does take the DDs swimming or to the park on a Sunday and he really enjoys that.

He mucks in a tiny bit with bedtimes sometimes.

Is this fair? He had a go at me this morning due to the recycling not being sorted into their tubs ready to go out. I maintain that he should do that as I do ALL THE OTHER STUFF and I hate doing recycling. I put it outside in bags....he could then put it into the correct tubs and carry them out but he thinks I should sort them into their tubs ready for him to put out.

Is he a lazy fuck or am I being overly demanding given that he works 6 days a week? I don't mind doing the cleaning and cooking as to be fair, 3 hours work per day at home is hardly back breaking and I'm here anyway aren't I? But surely he could do the recycling!?

We both work fulltime shift work.
OH sorts the bills, DIY and car maintenance etc and sleeps a lot.
I do all housework, looking after DS, cooking, shopping, taking bins out etc, and am up most nights when DS has night terrors.

DH works full-time, I'm at home full time at the moment. I'm pregnant, we don't have any other kids.

When we both worked full-time everything was pretty equally divided.

I have taken on a greater proportion of the housework now I'm at home, which I don't object to. However, DH still cooks, cleans, does laundry, DIY, gardening, and does all his own ironing (it will be a cold day in hell before I iron another adult's stuff, I don't even iron my own).

Probably works out as:
-I do 80% of laundry and cleaning, he does 20
-I cook 5 nights out of 7
-When I cook he washes up, and vica versa
-We do the food list and shop together
-He does all the ironing
-50/50 on the gardening
-He does all the boring shit which I hate: anything involving buying something electronic and connecting it to other things with 15 cables, booking flights, comparing energy prices, renewing satellite TV contract etc.
-I do a lot of DIY, but we're in the middle of a house renovation and that's what I see as my 'job' until I'm huge and can't do it any more.

I think we're a good team.

The reason I don't mind doing the lion's share of the cooking, cleaning and laundry is that DH would never expect me to, and regularly says thanks for doing it. If for any reason I didn't do it, he wouldn't come home and say 'What's all this, you haven't cleaned the bathroom?' He'd do it himself. And when he hasn't cooked in a while because he's been working late, he'll tell me he'll cook on the weekend. I like that very much.

We tend to do half each, although I do majority of childcare as I've been a sahm. Currently self employed and work from home. Dh is a teacher so out the house from 7.30 to 5ish Mon-Fri. I sort the dc out in morning. One of us cooks dinner, the other washes up. We take it in turns to put the dcs to bed or we put one each to bed. We both clean at weekends if needed. Also each have a lie in on the weekend. Its been like this all the way through our relationship.

Not sure it's necessarily helpful to say "if they were single they'd have to do everything". When I was single I lived in a shared room in a house and we had a cleaner. So i spent very little time cleaning. I also ate out more or did quick meals like toast, whereas now I eat out very little and feel I have to do "proper" meals. And I only had a couple of loads of washing to do in a week and 1 bed to change. Housework was never something that felt like a huge deal. I think the amount you have to do does exponentially rise when you have DC and also because you have less disposable income.

So? When does 'I work full-time' become an excuse to do FA besides that? If you don't want to pull your weight then stay single and don't have kids.

Mine works pt as a cleaner (about 20hrs pw) He cooks his own meal four times a week, cleans the whole house thoroughly once a week, comes to the supermarket with me twice a week, changes the beds every Saturday, loads/unloads the dishwasher, feeds the cats and does all the ironing.
I cook three times a week, do the laundry, clean the bathroom and kitchen daily, dust the house daily.
Have to add, my health isn't too good now, but he's always done the same.
I think I'm very lucky, as he's always really wanted to do all this.

I work less hours so do the bulk of the jobs as it takes less than an hour a day including admin over the week. DH looks after the garden and the DIY and I do the rest. Works for us but if I worked the same hours he would help without being asked.

DH is brilliant... When he's here. He's military and works odd hours and is frequently away for 1/2/5/7/14/30 days, unpredictably. I work 4 days a week and also have to travel a bit.

When he is here he cooks, washes up, does washing, and is great at crafty stuff with DD. He does a lot of DIY on the house, but isn't so great at doing bins/vacuuming etc and as he has a chaotic work life he rarely knows what day it is, so I do arranging childcare and parties etc.

He does most of our financial stuff.

Mine does pull his weight Lego, he keeps me in a reasonable lifestyle and lovely home, while I raise our children - by working and earning more money than i could for the same number of hours

I don't think its too much to ask that I cook him a bloody hot meal every day and wash his socks

I appreciate my set up is too 1950s for some, but we like it that way?

I'm happy with our arrangement...
Dh works full time.
I work approx 5 hours pw, so essentially a sahm.
I do all housework and all admin.
(My youngest is in preschool 15 hours pw so I use this 15 hours to get all hw etc done plus I get plenty of me time in the week too).
Dh gets every midweek evening bar one to do whatever he wants. I get Saturdays to do what I want whilst he has the dc, and he gets Sunday. We often choose family time but also both do a sport which takes up half a weekend day each.
Works for us.
In my particular situation, it would be outrageous to expect dh to do any housework.

I always feel like my DH pulls his weight. When he's around, childcare is an equal split. One of us prepares a meal, the other tidies up. He takes bins out, I bring them back in. Admin type stuff is split and whilst I probably do more of the shopping, DH certainly does a reasonable amount.

However-I am a SAHM, DH works long hours. By which I mean an average 60 hours a week, mostly in the office but conference calls from home in the evenings too. So it's only sensible and fair really for me to do the housework stuff like cleaning and laundry (and obviously all the childcare-we have two school age and a toddler) whilst DH is at work.

However if he worked in a 'home by 5.30' type job and I was working as well then the split would probably be a bit different.

Knock yourself out, Daryl, but I don't expect my spouse to skivvy for me just because I work FT and he doesn't.

Let's put this way, neither of us presumes they can sit around relaxing if the other's doing chores.

Lego, I don't see myself as a skivvy at all. I would say I definitely get the most free time out if the two of us, despite doing all the hw, all the admin and the vast majority of the childcare.

DH works very long hours. 14 hours a day, most days. He does admin stuff (bills etc) but doesn't do much else at all. He pays for a cleaner though but I do all the rest. I work part time. I think we have a fair split generally.

I take care of laundry he does catering. We have a cleaner and share things like gardening. I do more school and nursery drop offs as I work closer, when we worked in same place that was equal too.

DH and I earn and work about the same.

Sounds mean but I do stop myself from saying thank you if for example he stays off work with ill child, as he wouldn't think to thank me when it is him. Ditto tasks which are shared like cutting the grass or doing packed lunch. I do always thank him for my dinner though.

I was reading something interesting the other day on a book on gender - that as the woman's earnings approach her male partner's the share of housework becomes more equal. But once she earns more than him the reverse happens and the woman does more and more of the housework and childcare. This was an American survey though.

He puts the bins out, that's it. I work much less hours than him and he can be up for days on end during lambing. He runs the farm and has a farrier business, I do everything else.

When our kids were small he did all the night feeds so I could sleep and was a very hands on dad with the kids.

I love cooking anyway and made the kitchen my domain from very early on. We have a cleaner 3 times a week so I don't do much housework except for the laundry. We do all the admin for home and the businesses together. We're happy with our home life and I wouldn't want to change it as it works for us.

He works 40+ hours, you work 15, so you owe him 25. He looks after the kids, so it seems fair to me

Yeah, I don't see myself as a skivvy. It's labour-sharing as far as I'm concerned. I'm not being oppressed into doing more of the housework, it just happens to make sense at the moment.

It's not expected of me, it's something I offer and something which is appreciated and respected. And if life had turned out the other way round, I know DH would be happy to do the same work. Our situation is likely to be very different in 5 years time, and the division of household chores will adapt to that.

I do think it's important to show respect to people who do the work at home. I used to work in a very complicated job which I had to train for a long time to do and of which I was very proud, but it all fell apart during TTC problems, and the upshot is I'm at home all the time. I actually quite like it, but I still struggle with feeling that what I do is considered by many to be unimportant and lowly (many dicks, I know, I know, but still). I have to remind myself that I'm building a home (literally, some days). Being compared to a skivvy is not helpful.

DH works f/t 5 days a week. Leaves about 7:45am and gets back about 6pm unless working in London when it's about 8:30pm. I'm now a SAHM.

I do everything apart from him ironing the odd shirt if I've not done it and he wants to wear it. He does the DIY (not much) and lifts heavy boxes (we've just moved in). He also does the litter tray as I'm 10wks pregnant. I do all the cooking, washing, tidying, cleaning, bins etc.

We share bath time and bedtime for DD. I do it if DH is particularly late home but we usually do half each.

I see it as me working f/t at home so expect to do the lion's share. However at the moment I'm in the middle of 1st trimester sickness so DH is having to do more as I feel pretty rubbish.

At the weekends, we share stuff more evenly.

Mine does quite a lot but works all sorts of hours so he can be tidying the kitchen at 3 am.
I am a sahm but dh works from home a lot so he is quite often here to muck in.
We all do are bit including the kids, although they are older now right from the start they were taught to do their bit.

I am a stay at home mum and part-time student. DH works about 40 hours a week in his normal job and his shop. He does nothing. Absolutely nothing. Bins when he remembers to. He doesn't even make his own coffee in the morning!

Dh does pretty much everything for me at the minute cos I'm laid up with a cast on my leg. I have been managing to make a dinner about three times a week and clean the kitchen every other day, but apart from that he's done everything including walking the dogs and all the doc stuff (they are stepdcs to him) as well as working long hours in two different secure mental health facilities at a senior level so physical and responsibilities. When I'm not poorly he is generally very much on board with domestic shit. We tackle stuff together during the week and at the weekend he brings me a cuppa in bed, walks the dogs then brings me breakfast in bed. When he's flagging I will send him to the sofa and mop his brow so it doesn't feel one sided. I cannot abide these piss takey bastards who let their partners run themselves ragged. We both really mind how the other feels and care if one of us looks tired.

Jack shit!! He empties the bins. He pays for a cleaner though so I don't mind doing laundry and cooking as long as he sorts all the bills etc, I enjoy cooking anyway.