To want to know the honest truth about how much your DH does around the house?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Because I am so tired of mine being shite at housework. To clarify, he works 9-5.30 in a very physical job, leaves at 8.00am and gets home at 6 so he is tired. He generally works 5 full days a week...and he does jack shit in the house.

I work from home on average about 3 hours per day. I do the school runs on public transport with 2 dds. All the housework and all the basic stuff for the DDs such as taking them to their dance lessons on weekends doing their homework with them and most of the shopping and all of the cooking.

DH does a supermarket run once a week and the DIY things. He does take the DDs swimming or to the park on a Sunday and he really enjoys that.

He mucks in a tiny bit with bedtimes sometimes.

Is this fair? He had a go at me this morning due to the recycling not being sorted into their tubs ready to go out. I maintain that he should do that as I do ALL THE OTHER STUFF and I hate doing recycling. I put it outside in bags....he could then put it into the correct tubs and carry them out but he thinks I should sort them into their tubs ready for him to put out.

Is he a lazy fuck or am I being overly demanding given that he works 6 days a week? I don't mind doing the cleaning and cooking as to be fair, 3 hours work per day at home is hardly back breaking and I'm here anyway aren't I? But surely he could do the recycling!?

We both work half 7 - half 4 ish - him sometimes longer - V physical job (him).
He does all the washing, drying, folding, putting away.
We split the cooking, take it in turns.
I do more clearing up.
I do the general pottering/tidying/hoovering.
Bathrooms are shared jobs.
He goes to the gym more than me but we both get time out.
I cook for the kids more often.
He does the bins/recycling.
Washing up/dishwasher is more me but he does his bit.
We share DIY but he does more (we try not to be pink/blue chores but he is fast at putting up shelves and decorating, I take forever).

No way would I be with someone who didnt do equal chores. No way. I have it very good.

When I worked full time we did 50/50.

Now I've quit work and am in the process of setting up my own business, I work about 2-3 hours per day and do 95% of the housework.

DH does stuff that I would expect him to do whether I worked or not - i.e. the garden is his domain, he picks up and tidies up after himself, puts his stuff in the washing basket/dishwasher, if he notices something like the bin overflowing he will put it out, he'll put a wash on if he notices the basket is full, but other than that I don't expect him to do much.

Obviously he'll step it up when I start working more hours or if I'm ill or incapacitated.

I think your DH does ok actually, considering he is out of the house 10 hours a day, I certainly wouldn't say he's a "lazy fuck".

I don't know op. My dh works a50 hour week in a desk job. He commutes 2 hours a day. We both do bedtimes and homework and he occasionaly helps if dcs up in night.

At the weekend, he does night wakings/we share taking dcs to clubs/ outings
He cooks
Does mountains of washing
Does small shop if needed
Takes toddler as much ad possible

Bouff well I'm hardly going to leave him over it. He used to do more but he had a different job then. It seems that people have differing views over this...not sure what to do.

DP works 9-5. I am a SAHM.

DP irons his work shirts, takes DD to parties/clubs at weekends and has always done her bedtime. He puts the bins out and does all the DIY.

He'll tidy round the living room and do the dishes and he gets DD's breakfast in the morning.

He never does laundry or hoovering/mopping. He cooks once a week.

Oh and he makes me endless cups of tea without having to be asked.

All in all I think it's fairly even and works well for us.

Oh yeah and I do all the night wakings with DS (breastfed and cosleeping).

If we are both working Dp will sort the rabbits, feed the cat, pack Ds's school bag, make me coffee and heat up my soup for my flask, take Ds to breakfast club in the morning. I start work earlier and finish later than him so he will pick Ds up, come home, cook tea, feed cat, sort rabbits, wash up from breakfast, tidy up, do some washing etc. if I'm really tired he will wash up after tea too.

I work part time, usually 3 or 4 long days a week. If I'm off he will feed the rabbits and cat, make me coffee then go to work. I will do all the daily stuff, washing, washing up, wiping bathroom etc and cook tea. He will then wash up.

I do all the admin, bills etc, he does all the gardening and leaning out of rabbits. I tend to do the big clean on the weekend if he's working. Sometimes we do it together.

He works full time, I work 60% week. I do all the washing, all the child and family management stuff and a lot of the childcare, the dishwasher, about half the food shopping. He does the other half, 95% of the cooking, about 95% of the cleaning.

I am a SAHM so do pretty much everything (both children are in school) but he unpacks the dishwasher on a weekend and he is charge of putting it on every night so he clears the last few mugs away from the evening etc.

He makes lunches on a weekend and usually dinner, we jointly tackle the garden and any DIY tasks.

But I do the day to day, mundane running of the house because I have time and I am happy doing it. So I meal plan, on-line shop for food, cook dinner and have it on the table for when he comes in. I do the school run, deal with all the school paperwork, form filling, attend meetings but DH does come to all the parent's evenings, sports day, swimming galas etc because he can work flexible hours.

I do bins, mow the lawn, take the glass and tetra recycling to the supermarket to recycle as it isn't collected. I shop for the clothes for the children, me and sometimes DH.

When I worked full time before children we split housework/shopping etc.

But the bottom line is, I am happy in that role, and DH is happy in his. We both put the children to bed although at 11 and 8 this is far simpler than the old bath them, story reading days but he did do it then too.

He spends one on one time with them individually and them together without me. They buggered off to a little diner for breakfast once (I was genuinely fine with that) our down time is after the children are in bed.

Currently OH does everything bar cooking as he is at home with DS.

I am also heavily pregnant with number 2 and struggling with SPD so as much as I'd like to do more, I can't.

When we both work it's probably more of a 70/30 split with me doing the lions share as I have a desk job and he is on his feet from 8-5.

When I was at home on maternity leave and he was at work then I did the almost everything, although we'd both do a big clean at the weekend - we will revert to this as I am due on maternity leave again soon and he will go back to work.

Basically we tend to work around whatever the employment situation is as it's quite changeable for us.

My oh works similar hours to yours in a physical job. He comes home and sometimes (about 50/50) helps me with giving LO his tea and afterwards he always does Los bath & bed time. I usually make dinner and i wash up 70% of the time. I've been unusually tired recently though so he's been making dinner and dishes.

I tidy up and clean the house but I live in a Tiny house so it's easy to keep on top of throughout the day. He's never cleaned the bathroom or the floors. But he is amazing with LO, when he's around he does more than me, I get a lie in every week and I'll usually just get on with the cleaning because after all day everyday of having LO it feels like a break. Does that sound awful?

• also just to add that OH does whatever is asked / requested of him regardless of whether he is at work or having DS. I just tend to "take on" a lot more when he works as he has a proper physical job.

It seems to me that if you add up all the hours of work and divide by two then he is doing his fair share by going out to work 60 hours a week. I don't think that housework and child care, tedious as they are, compare with a physical job outside the home.
I would think completely differently if you both went out to work the same hours.
I work 2 days a week. DH does not work and does most of the housework, and all the running around for DC. I do all the cooking, some housework, all shopping.

DH has similar hours than yours.
He does

• prepare breakfast for the dcs in the morning as well as all the packed lunches
• picks the dcs up from after school club 3 days a week. Prepare dinner, feeds them, take them swimming (one night), ensure that they are ready for bed (I'm back home around 7.30 these nights). Dies all the cleaning in the kitchen these days too.
• share with me all laundry (washing, put to dry, putting away)
• does all the ironing
• does the DIY (apparently I don't know how to do it...)
• during the weekend, we share the HW and taking the dcs to their activities, incl a very early start on Saturday fur swimming (it starts at 7.00am!). DH does the hoovering most if the time, I do bathrooms etc..

In effect, what we do in the house is more or less equally split.

We both work full time, 10-12hr days. Share household stuff equally

Actually even when on maternity it was shared as dh could see I was busy also in day with babies or resting ( only had 8 week maternity leave though)

Oh dcs are older than your abut when they were little, bedtime has a heats been split 50/50

OP as a guess the 3 hours of work is all you can do between drop off and pick up time.
The rest if the time you look after the dcs.
So IMO the only fair thing todo us to split 50/50 anything that us left once he is back home.
That means bedtime, cleaning the kitchen, cooking, taking the dcs to activities at the weekend/later in the evening etc.

He does nearly as much as me- although he tends to do his share in one big blitz or deep clean at the weekend whereas I do dribs and drabs throughout the day.

I don't think it's unreasonable that you should be doing the vast majority as your DCs are school age, and you have plenty of time at home when he's out working.

Having said that, I wouldn't stand for being dictated to in my own home either. If he wants the recycling done, he should be doing it himself rather than nagging you.

Loads. He works locally, leaves around 8.15am and home about 5.45pm mon to fri. Walks DD to nursery before work on her two days there per week. I do pick ups. Does weekly online food shop, cooks dinner most nights and gets extras from supermarket if needed midweek as he works near the shops. Does dishwasher most days. I do the cleaning, ironing and laundry and Hoover a couple of times in the week but he will offer to run Hoover around at the weekend. Takes turns getting up with DD in the morning, does her evening bath (alternate nights) most of the time. Makes our drinks & breakfast most mornings. We muck in together with childcare stuff at weekends. He's thinks very little of men who think that kids are the womens responsibility and thinks men who don't pull they're weight at home are plain lazy

At the moment, not much but as he's working 8-12/2(am) 5 days a week and then also working at the weekend that doesn't leave much time! I work ft and am out of the house 6-6. Normally he works closer to 8-7/8 and not weekends.

Dh gets our toddler up, fed and to nursery 4 days a week. Does bedtimes at weekends and 2 days a week. Will also do the 'duty shift' with him 3 or 4 nights a week depending on how I am feeling (7mos pg).

House wise, rubbish/recycling out, all washing up and tidying away that doesn't go in the dishwasher, will run the hover round at weekends. He cleans the kitchen. Does all gardening and car maintenance. We alternate the weekly food shop and he has the toddler for a full day over the weekend. He normally cooks 2-3/week depending on what's on the menu/ how ds is settling to sleep.

I do washing and ironing, sorting out everything ds needs for nursery, menu planning and shopping list writing. I normally clean the rest of the house and take care of ds rest of the time

I'm a SAHM to three DC aged 4, 3 and 2 but they're home educated or rather at this age unschooled so a big chunk of my day is obviously focused on teaching them stuff.

DH works sporadic shifts five days a week. Some days he'll leave at 4 am and be home for 3pm, other days he'll leave at 3pm and be home for 1 am and sometimes he'll leave at 7.30 am and be home for 6pm. On his shifts that start at 3 he helps out around the house and on his two days off a week he does. On those days if I cook (which I usually do) he washes up. He takes the bin out 95% of the time regardless, I just don't like that job very much but I'll obviously do it if he's not going to be home for hours and it's overflowing . If I put nappy wash on he hangs the nappies and vice versa. Any DIY is on him aside from painting because I'm fecking useless. He mows the lawn. He irons his work clothes.

I do all of the washing, drying and putting away, I wash up at least twice a day but sometimes I do it all three times. I vacuum the house, change the bedding, clean the kitchen and bathroom, tidy the bedrooms, do 99% of the cooking, do the online shopping, sort 90% of the bill paying...

Just trying to work out how much percentage I do compared to him. I'd say I do 70 and he does 30%.

*their

I work part time two days a week and look after our toddler on the other 3 week days. He is in senior management and thinks its mostly easier that being the one looking after a toddler all day

DH works 7am-6pm, with a 45 min commute each way, currently 5 days a week but used to be 6, and often he used work away from home during the week too, before we had youngest DD (now 2yo).

When we only had one child I worked both days of the weekend, when we had 2DCs I worked Sundays only. Now I don't work at all since having the youngest.

At the moment I do all the housework, laundry, school runs/after school stuff, food shopping, cooking, packed lunches/any school bits that need taking care of, children's bath and bedtimes, any night wakings/poorly DCs.
DH does any DIY, car related stuff, most of the gardening and reads with each child/supervises homework and then makes a bedtime drink while I am bathing others. He also sorts out any household admin, bills, mortgage, car paperwork, insurances etc.

This works for us - in the past when I have been working he has done a hoover throughout while I've been at work and possibly cooked on that day only, as well as occupying the children all day.

I see it as a fair swap for his salary covering everything we need tbh. I could probably easily fit in everything I need to do, during the school day when I've just got the 2yo at home - but sometimes id rather go out, or do a bit of crafting, or internetting, which means I spend some evenings going household stuff instead of having free time - its my choice, and I'm lucky to have a choice really!

We genuinely feel like we are getting it right, in terms of our home, our split of chores/money, and the raising of our children - its what we wanted since the beginning and we are literally living our dream.

Husband much neater and tidier than me with much higher standards of cleanliness. If he goes away for the weekend it soon descends into happy chaos.

We both work full time (he leaves before me about 1/2 an hour and gets back about an hour or so after me). I enjoy cooking and thinking about what we are going to eat so generally do that and the shopping. Sort of take it in turns to tidy up kitchen. He has a washing system for the clothes that I generally stay out of - he does all that.

He cleans his kids rooms and their bathroom. We have a cleaner 2 hours a week. He does the hoovering in between if it needs it (I tend to think it'll be fine till the cleaner comes - generally have much lower standards).

I do the nice gardening in the back garden that is pottering and pots - and he does the grass cutting and attacking the front gardening that we both hate doing. He cleans his car - and will occasionally clean mine when it all gets too much for him.

Bins - whoever notices it is full. Cat related badness all down to me - clearing up half mice etc.