To be shocked at the ageism on here tonight

[drudgetrudy]

AIBU to be shocked at the terms used to refer to older people tonight.
We've had "old duffers", "old biddies" "old dears with nothing better to do" and this isn't a TAAT-its been on more than one thread.

If any other group were referred to in generalised and negative terms like this people would be going nuts.
People are people and come in many varieties over all age ranges.
Seriously pissed off tonight.

Christina22 will be over 30 yrs before she knows it and change her attitude.

You are so right, Happydays. But not so funny when get overlooked at work. I honestly had no idea (till I lost it) how much attention and positive regard I got professionally when I was young and hot. Now, there's real downsides of that, don't get me wrong. But I am stunned at how much harder I have to work to just get people realise I'm in the room! I'm well-liked at work, but increasingly patronised by the young 'uns (and completely ignored by some of the the men). I've been active for quarter of a century in the field that some of them are only 24 months into, and I've seen things come and go around a few times, but if I start with, "Well, this is what we tried in 1992 and this is how it turned out" I can almost taste the patronising smirks I get. I don't think I'm better or wiser than anyone else because of my age, but I'm buggered if I'm going to be the office mummy and let everyone dismiss my experience and expertise.

This really matters because I have to work for another 17 years, I have small children, a really crap pension (sorry to blow the babyboomer stereotype) and I am the breadwinner. If I lose this job I will not easily find another. That's a bad enough feeling when you're in your last five years of working life; it stinks when you're in your last 20!

I make a point of using my age to my advantage at work, but you have to be working in the right environment to be able to do that. I suspect Devora's experience is much more typical.

Yes I will be over 30 aNd know im old so not to insult others who are too
Over 30 is old you have no right to insult others on age. Simple as n grow up

So why is over 30 old? That comment is stunningly stupid.

I suspect you might have been criticised for sounding immature recently on MN (under a different name).

II am 71 and have a 9 year old and a 16 year old. Am I an old fart NO NO girls please remember age is just a number it is attitude that counts.

^Yes I will be over 30 aNd know im old so not to insult others who are too
Over 30 is old you have no right to insult others on age. Simple as n grow up^

What the actual fuck does this mean? Can you re-post this in English please?

Experience ... the valuable asset that devalues its owner.

At one of the last interviews I went to - a long time ago; Christina was still in knee socks - they told me "We do want someone who's been around the block a few times. But not as often as you have."

I think Christina's in for shock when she wakes up with the hangover from her 30th birthday ... and finds she isn't old yet

I never ever understood the point of Gransnet.

Why segregate out a group of women based on some spurious idea of age?
My neighbour became a grandmother at 37.

I just saw they were featuring "expert haircare tips for the over 50s."
Over bloody 50!
Some hairdresser wanking on about how we all have to embrace our inner Helen Mirren.

I am 50 next year and have a 7 year old child.
Patronising bollocks.

Oh dear 2old Old fart and girls!! You're doomed. The hordes will be descending soon to tear a strip off you

Ageist attitudes and society's tolerance of them contribute to elder abuse, just as devaluation of women underpins violence against women.

I suppose I should try gransnet but I like it on here and I'm still a Mum as well as a Gran-there's no upper age limit is there-and no requirement to be a Mum anyway.

Exactly Scone

This is a serious issue imo - despite the fact that some are seemingly still seeing it as a non issue or a joke.

Hair for the over 50s, argh! Invariable advice: Your skin begins to lose colour along with your hair. Resist the temptation to dye your hair back to its youthful shade: it won't go with your older skin. Go grey gracefully.

Translation: Grey skin, grey hair, just desaturate into the background, please, we don't want to see you! Grey! Stay grey! Fade away!

Personally, I feel the desaturation phase is the ideal opportunity to experiment with riotous colour :) It's a pity my teeth have gone for hyper-pigmentation, but you can't win 'em all

No drudge Don't bother. Gransnet is awful.
The typeface is bigger and less cluttered because apparently being a grandmother makes you a ninny.
It is the internet equivalent of someone going "Are you alright dear? Can you hear ok? Ah bless...."

Garlic - so true!
He says "Above all don’t go too dark, it washes out a complexion and can add years" and apparently "a harshly scraped back bun can look very matronly."

Matronly - one of those words used against older women for which there is no male equivalent.

Agree. Like the word 'mumsy', which is used frequently on S&B as a criticism of women. Would we ever talk about something being 'dadsy'?

Would we ever talk about something being 'dadsy'?

Yeah, actually Dad-dancing and comfy cardigans.

Bod - that's awful! My mum who is 65 is more computer savvy than I am and would be perfectly capable of increasing the font size if needed on her swanky new iPad, her eyesight is better than mine as it goes too so it's more likely to be me that needs bigger font

Now that Scone has highlighted where MN used 'unsolicited advice from old biddies on buses* in 'Mumsnet Rules' it would be nice to have a comment on why they thought it was acceptable, and what relevance age had, if advice is unsolicited.

Over 30 is an old biddy? FFS! I will be 60 in two years and have no idea how that happened. I am older yes, no doubt but old? No way. Society is very ageist especially with regard to women. I am consoled by the fact that these younger people will one day be as old as me if they are lucky. The downside of course is that by then I will be six feet under.

What really gets me though is that no they haven't experience being old yet but they have parents who are! Whenever I see an old lady (I mean someone in their 70s plus) I always think of my DM who died 20 years ago and think about how I would have liked people to treat her.

"Christina22xx Fri 28-Nov-14 21:27:12
Yes I will be over 30 aNd know im old so not to insult others who are too
Over 30 is old you have no right to insult others on age. Simple as n grow up"

WTF does that mean??
my ds is in his 20's but he can string a sentence together. !!

My mother is in her 90s- her mind is as sharp as it ever was- and with her wealth of experience she should be a person whose opinion is worth hearing, rather than a person 'written off' as obsolete.

I'm with you drudge, Gransnet does seem a bit slow by comparison.

Scone -that's the really serious side of it.
People are joking about being old at 30 (at least I think its a joke) but the older you get the less you are perceived as fully human .
At 55 you start to feel invisible at work, at 65 the "old biddy" stuff starts, at 80 you are not worth any respect at all. If you become physically or mentally frail you are vulnerable to abuse as you are actually a bit of a joke. Nice! That's why I feel calling it out where we see it is important.