To be shocked at the ageism on here tonight

[drudgetrudy]

AIBU to be shocked at the terms used to refer to older people tonight.
We've had "old duffers", "old biddies" "old dears with nothing better to do" and this isn't a TAAT-its been on more than one thread.

If any other group were referred to in generalised and negative terms like this people would be going nuts.
People are people and come in many varieties over all age ranges.
Seriously pissed off tonight.

[Roonerspism]

I care about ageism more in the context of NHS policies and implementation of care.

I do think the UK has a particularly shocking record when it comes to these things, that is definitely less of a problem in other European countries.

Is that because of ageism generally or economic factors? I have always assumed the latter but perhaps not.
Maybe it is a culture problem.

[VenusRising]

I know I was really amazed at how many posters surmised that the queen had tena incontinence products in her handbag. For sure, she's got a lot of years on the clock, but it doesn't mean she's incontinent.

Any "isms" are pretty disgusting, and should be "wasims" pronto.

[ArsenicSoup]

What? Queen? Tenalady? Was this a thread? FFS.

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

I see a lot of ageism to elderly but also a lot of corrections and threads like this.
I also see a lot a ageism to young people/teenagers/20 something's yet no ones bothered.
Is ageism only against the old?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I've never used the phrase "old dear" in a negative way. Or just about women.

Haven't used it about people in their 50's/60's either mind as I don't see them as being "old". Just older than me.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

YABU to say that ageism applies only the older people.

Broad generalisations are made about younger people, especially teens, and people rarely bat an eyelid never mind challenge it.

[whattheseithakasmean]

There is also a tendency on hear to assume anyone over 60 is 'old' and needs special consideration - 'she is an old lady, it must be difficult for her' etc.

It always makes me raise an eyebrow as I have friends in that age bracket and they are not 'old ladies'. They are still working, in many cases competing in their sport, looking fantastic and stylish.

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

What does TAAT mean?

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

My favourite is old codger btw

[AuntieStella]

There's no need to mention age unless it's relevant.

Especially as some MNetters are as old as the 'older woman'. If you simply mean that it's not a girl or very young woman, then it might avoid giving offence (or leaving the thread open to derailment) to state the relevant point in those terms.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Thread about a thread scrambled.

HQ don't like them and will usually delete.

[stillnotsorted]

That's a fair point JazzAnn. I lecture on moral panics surrounding youth and there is ageism directed at this group too and has been since the invention of the teenager in the 1950s (before this people were either children or young adults).

My own research looked at ageism towards older people, and this was 20 years ago. Things haven't changed much at all in the way we talk about this group either. It's very disheartening really.

In trying to understand it, I wonder if it's an attempt to both distance yet come to terms with certain age phases. This isn't to say that discrimination is irrelevant but it's interesting that 'Western and white' societies feel it necessary to do this (most certainly other cultures appear to have a greater regard for their older generation, equating it with wisdom and respect). The images too represented in the media, on traffic signs (think of the one with two old people crossing the road, bent double), invisibility on TV of older people and sex (other than as a stereotypical 'dirty old man', 'cougar'), birthday cards which exploit ageing as a joke, etc) - I think all these public discourses say something about processing our fears about old age. Doesn't make it right, though...

[whattheseithakasmean]

Good point about ageism against the young. I hear it all the time, but all the young people I know are frighteningly hard working, kind and creative. OK, that won't be every young person, but it shows you cannot generalise.

[Mehitabel6]

YANBU - it happens all the time.
MNHQ think it perfectly OK. I picked up their book in the library and leafing through it I saw a chapter headed ' the old biddy on tne bus'. I find that totally unacceptable and yet it wasn't challenged.
I also get irritated by it being assumed the over 60s need special consideration when the 60 yr old is quite probably running marathons when the 20 something yr old couldn't run for the bus!
The teenagers get typecast in unacceptable ways too.
Age is irrelevant in a good 90% of the posts.

[Hakluyt]

"it's just joky, not serious, don't be humourless' "

What's worst than that to my mind is the "we're just being affectionate- sharing the endearing things that our older rellies do"

Makes me incandescent. And the intersection with sexism is particularly troubling.

For the record, I object to the "that's what teenagers are like" threads as well.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I think people use age in posts for the same reason they describe how a person looks physically, it sets the scene more for their posts and helps gives readers a clearer idea of what the poster themself saw.

I don't see the issue with age being mentioned. Unless there is something inherently wrong with ageing?

I also think that people reading a post will judge things differently sometimes if they are aware of a persons age. Age is sometimes quite relevant.

[Hakluyt]

"Age is sometimes quite relevant."

Could you come up with some examples of when age is relevant once someone reaches adulthood?

[Hakluyt]

Oh, and some where older, and elderly are not in the negative side of the scales?

[Mrsstarlord]

I have been racking my brains to think of anything I have witnessed in terms of ageism about the young on here and really can't, happy to be corrected though.

Some excellent posts on here, particularly the one about why everyone should be concerned about this as it tells us something about what is valued in women, I disagree that men have it worse, we only need to look at the media to know that older men and women are viewed very differently in our society.

[Mehitabel6]

It is not relevant in most cases. The age of the woman on the bus is completely irrelevant. Asking what you get a 60yr old for her birthday is a daft question- what does she like, what are her interests?

[ProfYaffle]

Mrsstar, I've never seen ageism against the young on here either. However, I'm on a lot of local history forums which tend to be populated by older people and on there it's rife, absolutely rampant.

[Mrsstarlord]

That's awful, are you able to challenge it? This is the only forum I really use and if I hear it in 'real life' I'm afraid I laugh at the person saying it and point out how silly it is - still very rare though and usually my husband who enjoys moaning about everything

[Mehitabel6]

Teenagers often come off badly on MN- they probably don't read it so don't get irritated, I get irritated on their behalf.

[Hakluyt]

I suppose I'm talking about those threads where somebody talks about the hideous behaviour of their own particular teenager, and people say "oh, they're all like that". It annoys me because a) it's not true, and b) it doesn't help the OP and also absolves both teenage and parent of any responsibility and doesn motivate either to do anything about it.