To be shocked at the ageism on here tonight

[drudgetrudy]

AIBU to be shocked at the terms used to refer to older people tonight.
We've had "old duffers", "old biddies" "old dears with nothing better to do" and this isn't a TAAT-its been on more than one thread.

If any other group were referred to in generalised and negative terms like this people would be going nuts.
People are people and come in many varieties over all age ranges.
Seriously pissed off tonight.

I can't see why you need a separate gransnet. Some people are grandparents in their 30s,some have to wait until over 80 and some are never grandparents.

I am glad you started it, drudge , and shall report it every time from now on. It is very unfair not to have it taken seriously. We will never change attitudes while people think 'old biddy',or other put downs,are acceptable.

I took Christina's garbled post to mean that, after 30 years of age, one is old and should therefore refrain from insulting fellow seniors. Before 30, one isn't a grown-up so may freely insult older people.

It still doesn't make sense, I grant you.

Again Devora has it spot on.

I really like MN and for the most part, I think that MNHQ do a good job of moderating. I do think they have become more conscious of ageism. But I have to say that I am very surprised about the "old biddies on buses" thing. I didn't know about that until today; as an American, I have never seen the book. I think an apology is due. Are you listening, MNHQ?

On other threads with "isms" HQ often intervene. Never seen them do that to show disapproval of casual ageism.

ahh bit before ism's are decreed to be protected my mn hq
you have to go through years of
educating

Mumsnet Rules: Golden Rules
Ignore unsolicited parenting advice from Old Biddies on buses

'Old biddies' sounds like advice from Jeremy Clarkson et al

Interested to hear how MNHQ will defend this in a non-Clarkson way

They can't. It's shorthand for interfering busybodies who mean no harm. As we all know, every older woman is an annoying, well-intentioned busybody, so they make a perfect stereotype for this kind of upsetting behaviour.

Ironically, the same chapter reminds readers that busybodies don't actually think about what they're saying - they just come out with hackneyed phrases they've heard before.

So ... In claiming that 'old biddies' utter offensive phrases without engaging any thought process, Mumsnet's guilty of exactly the same solecism.

And I suspect that's why their input so far has been so disappointing.

A few days ago there was a thread about how the op found elderly drivers irritating, and being very derrogatory about their driving. I was about that, one day you will be old.

Ageism is widespread and almost invisible, and its most casual, innocent forms lay the ground for pernicious cruelty. Everyone who makes a casual ageist remark, despises someone for not being young, or fears growing old (which is not the same thing as dying) is a little bit culpable of these acts of violence and disdain.

This quotation is from Geraldine Bedell, editor of Gransnet, in this article:

www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/geraldine-bedell-lack-of-respect-for-the-old-is-the-real-problem-6266950.html

Ilovesooty
And you're "stunnly stupid" to Think youre young at 30
Grow the hell up its embarrassing

Funny how all the over 30s get mad at me for saying theyre old but they think its ok to insult others on age

Ironic

Oh Christina thank you.

It's been a day of horrible news. I needed a laugh.

Oooh, well said Geraldine Bedell!

despises someone for not being young, or fears growing old - She's damn right, and this is what I loathe about beauty advice for older women! Experts who don't assume older people should try to look 'youthful' are rarer than red diamonds.

He says "Above all don’t go too dark, it washes out a complexion and can add years" and apparently "a harshly scraped back bun can look very matronly."

Well, fuck, I wouldn't want to "add years" even if it does make me look breathtakingly dramatic, would I? Fading to grey, as recommended, sure as hell won't make me look young but at least my age will be invisible (along with the rest of me.) And "matronly"? God forbid! I am a woman of experience and authority, but must disguise my experience behind floaty, ashen waves. I won't look youthful, but at least I won't be commanding respect.

(I probably should confess that my hair's currently light ginger. This quote's made me think about going dark, though )

Thats Great its nice to help out the old people over 30.

Oh Christina, surely there's more to your repertoire than the 'old people over 30' refrain. Try not to be so set in your ways, it's very ageing don't you know.

A good article by Geraldine Bedell. She ends by saying that casual ageist remarks are damaging. That is why I keep harping on about MN using 'old biddies' in their book and am still waiting for them to explain it.
While they can use it to be mildly amusing I doubt there is much hope in them taking ageism seriously.

Christina I don't think this is quite the right site for you. You sound illiterate and I don't think that's related to your age.

Mehitabel I suspect that if we would like a credible explanation from HQ we are in for a very long wait.
I would think far more of them if they admitted they made an error of judgement, haven't taken ageism sufficiently seriously to date and committed to giving it the same priority as other protected characteristics.

Its crazy double standards. I mention that there has been a massive rise in poverty in young people while a fall in poverty for oaps and I'm flamed and called ageist for wanting change.

Yet on other thread people say young can't be bothered to work and waste all their money on stuff and no one gets outraged about that.

Young people do have higher material expectations these days. That's the nature of society's changes. I don't recall a thread where it was stated that they couldn't be bothered to work.
No fruitloop it's not "crazy double standards" and I'd you bothered to read and absorb the concerns on this thread you might just see that.

Devora, really feel for you. It's this feeling that it is only happening if you are young. Your experience is valuable not only at work but in life in general. It's necessary in order to get a perspective on life and to understand the probable outcomes of situations and decisions. Just look at the gaffs made by politicians who have been promoted without the necessary experience. They flounder as they attempt to "learn on the job ". Appearance and youth all important or so they think!

Young people do have higher material expectations these days.

Well that's an ageist statement to make sweeping generalisation s of everyone based on their age. What's the difference between your statement and saying Asians have higher material expectation?