To be shocked at the ageism on here tonight

[drudgetrudy]

AIBU to be shocked at the terms used to refer to older people tonight.
We've had "old duffers", "old biddies" "old dears with nothing better to do" and this isn't a TAAT-its been on more than one thread.

If any other group were referred to in generalised and negative terms like this people would be going nuts.
People are people and come in many varieties over all age ranges.
Seriously pissed off tonight.

[DidoTheDodo]

Exactly mehitabel.

I am glad this thread has come about. I was beginning to think the negativity expressed towards older people didn't matter on MN.

It does.

[Mehitabel6]

There are terms I could use on MN where I know that they would be down on me like a ton of bricks and pretty swiftly (they are not terms I would use)and yet someone can complain about 'an old biddy' and it will be left to stand without anyone questioning it.

[Mehitabel6]

Maybe it doesn't Dido-MNHQ are very slow in expressing their stance-I expect they are planning what it is-not having had one!

[ilovesooty]

People with the views expressed by Celticlass are the reason ageism is still very much alive. Perhapsshe sshould bear in mind that in terms of its being a protected characteristic age carries as much weight as race and disability.
And while HQ publish books with titles like the one mentioned, or treat ageist concerns less urgently than other protected characteristics

[ilovesooty]

... they give the impression that they aren't taking it too seriously.

[DidoTheDodo]

I have also noticed that age is often mentioned as a negative characteristic when someone is moaning about another person's behaviour, eg
"My neighbour did this that and the other and she is over 60" when it has absolutely no bearing on the behaviour or the required response.

[Mehitabel6]

As soon as anyone says 'old dears, old wifeys, old biddy, old codger , old duffer' etc etc it is quite clear that no one is interested in their views-despite their wealth of experience -it is a major put down.

[GarlicNovember]

Middle aged women AND MEN can be grumpy - And people in other age groups can't?

I see everyone else is pussyfooting around this, so I'll go ...

This annoying old woman pushed in front (or whatever)
This annoying black woman pushed in front

Some old bloke was holding forth, boring everyone
Some Jewish bloke was holding forth, boring everyone

Pensioners should stay out of town at lunchtimes
Asians should stay out of town at lunchtimes

Pensions cost taxpayers too much
Schools cost taxpayers too much

Older women look awful in XYZ clothing
Disabled women look awful in XYZ clothing

... and so on.

[Mehitabel6]

Celticclass2 show the problem. She can't see it.
Coffin dodger is very rude-whatever age you say it and being over 70 is no excuse whatsoever.

[magimedi]

Well said, Garlic.

[GarlicNovember]

Cheers, magi.

Coffin dodger means 'should be dead'. Can people really not see it??

[Mehitabel6]

Exactly, Garlic
Why is ageism the one thing that is OK? (because they are less likely to make a fuss?)

[Mehitabel6]

Coffin dodger means 'should be dead'. Can people really not see it??

Apparently not-it is 'funny'

[Mehitabel6]

I put 'old biddy' into search-over 500 discussions came up!!! It is rife.

[GarlicNovember]

To be fair to Celtic's dad, I think it is funny in that it's trangressive - dunno why he's still alive, must be his tenacious personality, kind of thing. But when people blithely use it interchangeably with 'pensioner', it's cruel & nasty. Unthinkingly cruel, sure, but so are most prejudiced insults.

[Mehitabel6]

Searching is interesting 'miserable old bat' crops up quite a lot.

[GarlicNovember]

I put 'old biddy' into search-over 500 discussions came up!!!

The biddy's exact age can't have been relevant in all 500. It probably wasn't in any of them!

[AmyMumsnet]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for flagging your concerns. As with everything on the site, we take things on a case-by-case basis, but ageism is against our talk guidelines and we'll always take a look when it's reported and zap where necessary.

As for the thread started last night, it's been deleted now.

[cricketpitch]

It isn't just the terms/ language; try getting a n interview for a job if you put a date of birth on a cv pre 1975.

[Mehitabel6]

Maybe we need to report more. Looking back I see plenty of 'old cow', 'bitter old cow' -all unchallenged.
Very often someone comes on and says 'I can't see why the age was relevant' -and I haven't seen one case where it was.
While you are on AmyMumsnet-how do you defend heading a chapter 'dealing with the old biddies on the bus'?

[Mehitabel6]

A bit depressing cricketpitch when you are going to have to work until you are 67yrs!

[Mehitabel6]

Sorry-miss out the words 'a bit'.

[bodhranbae]

The casual way in which some people express their contempt, irritation and at times downright loathing for older generations is very disturbing.
I simply don't understand the ignorance that underpins it.

Why do some people feel entitled to treat the elderly as a kind of irritating sub-species?
Why are they stripped of all their individuality and regarded as a group of "old dears".

In a shop today I helped a woman buy some gloves.
She had severe mobility problems and her hands were so painfully arthritic she needed a lot of help to open her bag. She told us she had been a cleaner all her life. Widowed now and no children.
I can't imagine how hard life must be for her on her own struggling to get the bus or in the supermarket queue with some impatient arsehole huffing and tutting behind her.

Why can't people be more empathetic?
Apart from anything else it will be them one day.
Or do they think by some bloody miracle that they are never going to age?

[trackrBird]

I agree bodhranbae. Irritating sub species is about right; and the media is not only complicit, I think it encourages this attitude.

For example: my candidate for the most cruel, dehumanising and objectifying media term to describe a vulnerable human being:
"bed blocker"