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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my friend to fuck off and never speak to her again?

999 replies

Mammanat222 · 23/11/2014 17:34

Will try to be brief.

Friend came round this morning to see our new place. We moved in a week ago.

It's got brand new [cream] carpets through-out.

As anyone in London can testify today was wet and there has been plenty of rain in recent days.

We are strictly shoes off at the moment, due to aforementioned carpet and I know a lot of people disagree with this in principle but lets not concentrate on that.

Friend turns up with her 3 year old son, he is in his rain stuff including wellies as is she. I greet them in hallway and tell them to take shoes off. Nothing rude or argumentative and friend knows I have had carpet put in, she also knows how much it bloody cost.

Friend obliges and takes her boots off but says "it took me forever to get him dressed today can I leave his boots on and give them a wipe", I politely say he needs to take them off to which I get greeted with a sigh but still she doesn't make any moves to take the boots off. She then says "look you know how hard it is for me to get him dressed, can we just not pop up and I'll keep him in kitchen"

I then try to speak to child directly and cajole him to take his boots off (think along the lines of "take your boots off sweetie and you can go up to see the cat and J's bedroom with all his toys") to which my friend says - words to the effect of 'do you know what we'll leave coming up today, I've told you twice that I am not taking his boots off' and she then proceeded to put her boots back on, frogmarch her child out of the door whilst muttering 'good luck Hyacinth with your two kids and cream carpet'

Now this is a friend I have know for almost 20 years, someone who is normally the kindest, sweetest person and her behaviour was very out of character.

I waited for an apology and it never arrived so an hour later I messaged to see if she was OK and ask what was going on to which I got a shitty reply which was "I am fine, I just don't want my son to come and play in a house full of rules and regulations, good luck if you think your kids are never going to mess your carpet up"

I replied and explained that it might seem over zealous but the carpet is just 10 days old and I not happy for dirty wellies to be worn.

Friend then replied and said she was out having some un-regulated fun with her son and she would contact me when she had calmed down.

What the actual fuck. I turned my phone off as I didn't trust myself to reply.

Where can I go with this

In all our years of friendship I've never had anything like this with her?

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/11/2014 21:01

Anyway I can't argue with people who can't see the obvious.

I don't think the kid should have been allowed to get mud on floor.

But everything I say still stands.

Sorry if that's a bit complex to understand.

Am off to watch TV

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 21:02

I'd rather you didn't pat me, thanks.

eeyoreeeyoreoh · 24/11/2014 21:02

Genuine point, not being sarky, you must really be in shits-ville parenting-wise if you can't even get wellies on a 3 year old.

They were my go-to footwear of convenience with both of mine during the toddler years.

brandis · 24/11/2014 21:02

is this the fastest thread ever? Over 920 messages in just one day!

eeyoreeeyoreoh · 24/11/2014 21:03
usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 21:07

Were they CAKED IN MUD! wellies though.

Winterfable · 24/11/2014 21:10

I don't think it's the fastest ever ever but certainly is about something mundane as carpets as opposed to say Madeleine McCann Confused. It will reach 1000 soon as we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 24/11/2014 21:14

Are cream carpets common? Grin

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 21:15

Die thread die!

KatieKaye · 24/11/2014 21:18

even if they were in special london mud confused why not let her up to the kitchen = get her in the house, make her feel welcome and then deal with the boots.

Because the friend refused to do something as simple as even attempt to take the child's boots off and totally ignored the fact her heavily pregnant friend, in constant pain and stressed from moving house 10 days before not unreasonably asked that everyone removed their footwear because she had brand new carpets. because when you identify a potential problem you deal with it before it becomes an actual problem. That's only sensible. There was a simple solution but friend was determined to have her own way to make life easier for herself and to hell with the consequences for OP.

Removing a pair of wellies from a 3 year old is not a big deal - unless you unreasonably make it one and then stomp off in a petulant strop. refusing to even consider removing the wellies is nonsense and friend was trying to overrule OP in her house.

the kid wasn't going to suffer any major trauma by having the wellies removed. It's ridiculous to suggest that the possibility of the child having a tantrum was a good reason to ride rough shod over your host's reasonable request.

Winterfable · 24/11/2014 21:21

According to Wordfactory they are TheBody Grin!

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 24/11/2014 21:28

Excellent another mumsnet law.

Did we ever get to the bottom of the toilet brush debarcle. Excuse the pun!

DishwasherDogs · 24/11/2014 21:34

Wow.
In years to come, someone will start a thread "bonkers threads on AIBU", and this one will be right there at the top.
It's about wellies and carpet. That's it.

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 21:35

I think cream carpets are up there with twigs and pebbly shit, in the MN interior design stakes.

Icimoi · 24/11/2014 21:49

How come there's suddenly all the horror at writing about other people on AIBU? If there were a rule against it, including a rule against quoting texts etc, what would happen to all those threads about MILs, inlaws generally, mad neighbours, bridezillas, etc etc? I do hope none of those expressing horror here ever read those threads, let alone take part in them.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 24/11/2014 21:50

Is dancing barefoot on her cream carpets

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 24/11/2014 21:50

waving her toilet brush in the air

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 24/11/2014 21:50

singing I just don't care

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 24/11/2014 21:54

Twigs! Twigs you mean those ones with lights on.

I want some. Fuck me I am
Common.

Holding toilet brush singing let it go probably a tad risky!

PacificDogwood · 24/11/2014 21:55

I've had a 14 hour day work - just in.

Catching up with this thread has just Made My Day Grin

You are all bonkers!!

Mintyy · 24/11/2014 21:57

"Wow.
In years to come, someone will start a thread "bonkers threads on AIBU", and this one will be right there at the top.
It's about wellies and carpet. That's it."

Completely agree. Threads like this are why Mumsnet will eat itself one day.

SuperFlyHigh · 24/11/2014 21:58

I'm wondering if I'm bonkers cos I don't give a muddy shit who treks on my carpet or laminate and vice versa.

Accordingly to some here I'm a social pariah as I don't take footwear off when in anothers house but I would do if asked and not throw a paddy over it...

frumpet · 24/11/2014 21:59

Damn the lot of you , i have only gone and opened the bloody Christmas port , so i can keep up Grin

PacificDogwood · 24/11/2014 22:01

Have I mentioned I have cream carpets?
And enough children to fill 8 wellie boots? At the same time??

Gie'us some port, frumpet Grin

SuperFlyHigh · 24/11/2014 22:04

frumpet put down that port now! Oops it's made a nasty stain on the cream carpet!