AIBU to think it is REALLY daft to get into debt buying xmas presents etc.

[IceBeing]

Do people really go into debt over christmas and if so, why?

I'm about as they come. I'm a single parent, not working, relying on student income, last year I was working.

I've never borrowed money to pay for Christmas, in previous years I've been able to afford it by spreading the cost from about August, this year I knew I was giving up work towards the end of the year and would struggle so I've saved from the beginning and am able to afford Christmas pretty comfortably as well as contributing to Christmas food at my mum's.

Saving a few pounds a month is definitely miles better than getting into debt, but it's alot harder to save money when you're struggling and might need to dip into it for something essential so that it dwindles. In a way I can see how it would be easier to put it on a credit card and pay it off- the option of "dipping in" is taken away, the money is there, you use it for Christmas and you pay it off. You don't scrape away at the amount to stick a tenner in the meter or get a takeaway and then be too skint to replenish it.

I haven't waded through the whole thread, so I am probably repeating others. But I think it stands repeating.

What other people spend at Christmas is their own business, and it is not up to others to comment on, it is up to each family to decide.

It is not nice to judge others for getting into debt, you don't know their circumstances. However it is just as horrible to judge others for NOT getting into debt, making out that a Christmas with few presents (or just a chocolate orange, or whatever was said upthread) is so greatly inferior.
Someone said something like "If you're just going to give your child a chocolate orange, I'm making up a Christmas charity box, shall I send one to your child as well?"
And sneering about telling your 3 year old that they didn't have any presents but at least their parents weren't in debt.

If someone chooses to have a frugal Christmas and not get into debt, that is not deserving of sneers or aggressive attacks either. Nobody should be pressurising others to get into debt, but that is what some of these posts are doing - all this "Would you rather my child didn't have xyz at Christmas?" and "People have to get into debt just to have xyz"

It doesn't matter what anyone else does.

People that think it is worth getting into debt shouldn't be implying that those who don't think it is worth it will be giving their kids a miserable Christmas, just as much as those who don't want to get into debt shouldn't be implying that those who do are "daft" or feckless.

Just trust other adults - who have nothing to do with you - to make their own financial decisions, and make the best decisions you can for your own family.

We tend to buy second hand, but not charity shop second hand, more antique/junk shop type stuff. I got dh a glass goblet for almost nothing a few years ago, for instance; it holds just over half a pint, is a lovely shape, has a deep ring, is probably 100 years old and hand blown. DD has a pair of antique earrings from a junk shop, which were only a few quid.

We are lucky though, as there are quite a few shops like that close to use, and we like those sort of things; as do most of our friends. We are also lucky in that dd is not really into the latest gadgets and so on. She likes old things and books. (I'm the luster after gadgets in the family! )

One year I decreed a "second hand Christmas". It was great. I got a whole series of books I wanted to read. Our neighbours do "handmade Christmas" quite often. We sometimes also do "£10 Christmas", where you are not allowed to spend more than that on anyone. If everyone around you (including extended family) plays by the same rules, it's really good fun to rise to the challenge and see how good a bargain you can get for your money.

VanillaKip Mon 24-Nov-14 07:45

Yep the box comment was me.

Op is also sneering at people who do xmas, and give tat under the tree.

I am not giving my DC tat!

And I have when they were younger at least given presents I found free, charity and car boots.

Charity shops generally, tend to be fabulous these days, as are christmas fairs etc..

At OPs dd age she could support charity shops by buying her presents from them, or school fair fund raisers. She could also realise that not every single thing that can be termed as a present is tat.

Also that her DD not being into things is probably down to her not being into things, but then op did say every day was christmas for her

There's still loads of people going on about making their decisions due to having the choice though. Well off people. People who have had £1.3m mortgages (fuck me!) in their lifetimes. I don't think the OP necessarily had them in mind when raising this discussion.

FWIW, I won't go into debt for DD/DH's Christmas presents (DS is only 7 months so he'll be getting nowt).

I'll go close to the line, and maybe into the o/draft slightly, but I won't have to go to a loan shark or a payday lender because I have a bank account and an o/draft limit. So my debt will be manageable, because my salary will hopefully pay off what I've borrowed the following months.

For those without bank accounts or overdrafts and who live on what they get weekly/monthly, the options are pretty limited and the way to borrow money more expensive. I don't think that's too difficult to understand is it?

It's simply not possible to save in some circumstances. Either because you've been poor for a long time, so the unforeseen expenditures that crop up over the year take whatever savings you've made, or because you didn't know you were going to be poor by Christmas so have made no special provision. In these fairly common circumstances, borrowing is 'saving in reverse'. As long as you can pay it off in six months, it can even work.

There are also other factors like mental illness - and optimism (if you were laid off in October, you're probably expecting to back in work by January.)

It was spending Christmas with XH2's family that cured me of my presents-under-the-tree anxiety They buy and wrap a mountain of cheap, daft gifts. It takes quite a lot of effort, as finding ten cheap things that each recipient will like can be challenging! But, once I'd got over the culture shock of everybody diving on the presents in a whirlwind of wrapping paper and squeals, I discovered it's really good fun :)

Regarding the 'plastic tat' . Well you cant expect a 3 yr old to have the same taste as an adult. But when you give a present it is not about what YOU like but what the other person likes. My dd2 loved a stupid fluffy thing for her hair. I dont like it. But thats not the point. It was 1 pound and if it makes her so happy then it is not a waste. I am not going to decide what she should like.

DD is 5yo, we've just moved house and I'm no longer working. DH has just bought 6mo tax for the car and it's due it's MOT in December. DD doesn't really want much, so she'll have some basic stuff for her stocking (socks, colouring stuff, sweets, chocolate, hair bands) and a couple of presents. Probably Lego and she wants something from Frozen. I'll trawl the charity shops for little bits and bobs too.

She gets loads from both my family and DH's family too, so she won't go without. I think that's the difference. I'd more likely spend more if she didn't get anything else. Luckily she's young enough not to to really realise the cost or ask for much.

We're likely to go into the overdraft but I'll try to limit it as much as possible. We'll have a roast dinner and homemade pavlova or cake for dessert. Nice, but I won't go overboard as it's just the 3 of us.

I don't think I'd go into debt for extras, so if DD asked for a games console, then she wouldn't get it. But I'd go into a small amount of debt for the basics. Food on the table, a small number of presents, some basic stuff for a stocking. IF DD wants branded items when older, then she'll have to get a job to pay for them (or pay towards them) if we can't afford it.

thumb DD will prob not go to school till more like 6 or 7. Mostly because that's the Scandi way and we think their idea is better than the UK model. The next biggest reason is how much she hated nursery when she tried it. The things she hated about nursery where that it was so noisy, that other kids pushed and hit her, that there were rules like 'you have to eat your lunch' and 'don't cry' which don't apply at home.

you are lucky. the good schools here wouldnt have any places after reception/waiting list
she might be ready for nursery soon. they change a lot between 2 and 4

hmm...I think because people move all the time it isn't as hard to get into non-standard years of entry as the standard one....

If we screw up and can't get DD into a good school we will prob just HE till we can.