AIBU to think it is REALLY daft to get into debt buying xmas presents etc.

[IceBeing]

Do people really go into debt over christmas and if so, why?

Some people don't remember what gifts they got as kids but reading these Christmas threads always seems to signify (to me) that people who didn't get very much at Xmas remember what they didn't get. I remember not getting very much at Xmas as a child. I remember going into school after Xmas dreading people asking what I got and telling me what they got. My single £10 present made me feel very inferior next to their hundreds of pounds worth of presents.
I started a thread yesterday about presents and what is the norm and whether my £150 non techno gifts to my children was old fashioned and tightfisted. My own childhood memories of getting very little at Xmas still affects my thinking as an adult and I don't know what is right or wrong to buy for my own children.
I can buy presents without going into debt but I would be very tempted to go into debt if I couldn't afford anything as I wouldn't want my children to feel the way I did as a child.

thankfully I managed to get a couple of things in Jan sales this year for DC for xmas.

we have a 20 year old dilapidated artificial tree and decs form years ago,

a few bits and pieces of food (we don't do turkey anyway) and weare done!

I think its ridiculous to get into debt.

agree theres too much peer pressure and loads will be getting their x-boxes and the like,

mine has never had so much as a DS, in fact she plays with a 'game and watch' (remember them?) from my teens which still works, she never complains, shes never known any different.

but she not bothered by what others get anyway so im pleased about that.

Ive done xmas on a budget of £30. true, its just me and DC, I realise there are bigger families out there, but theres really no need to get stressed and precious about the amount of things and the prices.

as the saying goes, children want your prescence, not your presents..

anyway, totes agree with the OP.

I think Christmas has become just a greedy commercial event. We've been in the position that we simply couldn't afford to buy lots of presents etc without going into debt. We made the choice not to go into debt. We saved what we could and the children had exciting stockings and we had a modest festive meal. It's not easy but it worked for our family. We used to find as many free events as possible and Christmas Day morning we pack a flask and some snacks then go to the park to make sure Santa's reindeer were home safe and sound

I wonder if I am too old...I don't remember people discussing what they got for birthdays or xmas when I was a kid. But we also didn't compete over designer labels either.

I think kids have it really really tough at the moment. Advertisers do a total number on them, convincing them they are worth less if they don't have the right present, the right clothes, the right body shape.....

I sort of feel a ban on advertising to kids wouldn't be a total mistake.

I agree with Mrs D - I have also never got into debt for Christmas but I totally understand why people do - pressure lots of pressure - and maybe the worry that some cunt will start a thread on AIBU asking if 'these children' are neglected because they ONLY got a jumper and an orange for Christmas

OP you have a very small child - wait until they are older - the things they want (and need often for school work etc) change rapidly - this year
my eldest two want a lap top and phone - because one needs a lap top for school and the other will be walking home from next year - so the things they ask for get more expensive.

We can (just) afford to buy them but I totally understand that other people may need to get stuff from a catalogue etc to spread the cost

and YES I could say NO - I have managed to resist please for an X-box live and a pony for example - but some stuff becomes necessary.

it's like saying 'I can't believe people spend X, Y or Z on baby stuff' - but babies do need somewhere to sleep and clothes ...

I totally agree with you there Ice.

Do us a favour

Don't visit the Christmas board.

You may actually have a coronary.

Theres an xmas board?!?!

Thank for the warning - I will definitely be staying away....

Clearly some recent posters haven't rtft. There's a difference between going into debt to buy a ps4 and having no spare cash whatsoever beyond that required for the necessities. In the latter case choosing some degree of debt so your children have presents and stockings on Christmas morning isn't so hard to understand is it or is the spirit of Scrooge alive and well in you all.

OP, your daughter is three. You may choose to home school her but she eont remain in a bubble forever unless you plan that she won't ever make friends with children who do attend school and do watch tv.

little that point is well made. And I can understand wanting to have something for your DC if they are excited about the whole thing.

I do think nurseries and schools are not at all helping though. I imagine they are more sensitive about mothers day / fathers day around kids that might have more complex families, so why is it okay to big up christmas when many people may be having a horrible time of it?

oh and yes I agree with you there - we had 1 catalogue and we looked through it and picked all the things we wanting - knowing damn well we might get ONE big thing and lots of little bits - but we weren't as bombarded with advertising (1970's) as kids are today

there WAS competition though I remember at school comparing what everyone got and some kids boasting that they got that years must have toy and lots of other things - as I was the class 'poor kid' (single parent) and I hated it.

OP I don't think you are being particularly fair to your child to not allow them access to a TV, nursery or school. Whether we like it or not this is how the world is now, don't you worry that your DC will be very out of touch with other people as they get older and feel isolated and then resentful of you for restricting all these experiences?

So for the massively out of touch - can someone tell me what my DD is supposed to 'need' this xmas? How much am I supposed to spend? what is the minimum number of presents under the tree that will not cause people to think I am neglecting her?

She is 3 and a half....and mostly into jumping and hopping at the moment.

I have vaguely heard about the JL penguin....because it was on the news quiz or something...

Btw the main focus of our Christmas is definitely the family getting together. I spend a lot of time at the moment planning where everyone will sleep and what we will all enjoying eating together. Presents are taking quite a backseat for the time being.

My children love seeing their extended family, I won't lie, they love the presents too but I genuinely think they love the family being there very much.

3.5 years old she doesn't need very much.

I have 3 children, the eldest are 12 year old twins and even they don't get loads. One main present and a few bits to open. I spend far more on food (big family, staying for days) than I will on presents.

I've spread the cost of xmas right out this year. Presents in sales, putting the odd £5-£10 on an asda gift card so I have some form of money come xmas eve food shopping. The sneers and looks of shock I've had for admitting to doing things early is just saddening.
Not everyone is in a financial situation to splash out and buy their child/ren every latest fad toy and console all in the one go in December.

Do I feel pleased with myself that I've got all the presents in for DC already and don't have to worry anymore? Yes. Smug? No. Tomorrow will bring a new worry as we are in the red again with the rent and DH has poxy zero hour contract jobs that mean we don't know where we're going from week to week.

I genuinely feel for those who can't afford to buy their children things that they wish to buy them, but for those who wish to choose not to be drawn in by the sheer commercialism, I respect too.

winter I do worry about those things. I worry she will simple not understand the rules of the real world if she is too insulated from it. She won't realise she can't speak to attractive blokes unless she is pretty enough. She won't realise that women don't really do science/engineering jobs. She won't understand that people are going to judge her on her face, body, clothes, accent, etc. before they even get close to finding out who she is.

I don't know if it is better to insulate as long as possible then spend some time acclimatising or just let her loose on the internet. She'll soon find out there.

sick What?! People genuinely sneer at you for living within in your means while simultaneously making xmas as great as you can for your family? The debt culture has definitely gotten out of hand.

But then people on here have already said there is nothing wrong with debt and that it makes financial sense etc.

I agree with MrsD.

It's all very well and good for us to tell DS "Christmas is not about stuff and you aren't getting very many things as we are focusing on our family and Jesus" etc. (We are all about Jesus in the Cheerful house but as we live in an area that was mainly settled by Nordic immigrants all of the midwinter traditions are huge as well :) )

DS understand he wl only be getting a few gifts, because a) we don't believe in a lot of "stuff" (yet somehow seem to accumulate it anyway) and b) we spend as much helping other people have a Christmas as we do on our own DC.

But it's all well and good for us, isn't it? We have our own house and whatever clothes and food we want. We have family and friends who will spoil the DC no matter what we ask of them.

But that's not the case for so many others and they just want this one day or magic and happiness and no worries. I get that. I completely get that.

Well there's a big difference between letting her loose on the internet and letting her enjoy Christmas and go to nursery.

The thing is that it does happen gradually not all in one great rush, but if you insulate her from all this stuff then when she does suddenly view freedom she may well be completely overwhelmed or love it all too much that she will go for total overload.

*will
*of

Stoopid phone

Tbh at 3 Christmas for us was granny coming to stay for a few days and us having crackers and special dinner plus a few pressies under the tree. We made lots of crafty things and went to the carol concert at the church. As I said before we never brought ds up to believe in FC but we read Xmas stories about him leaving presents and that was good fun.

Personally at 3 I think you can get away with doing what ever you like it's late on when outside influences come into play.

Ds still loves Xmas dinner more than anything else and Christmas Eve hot choc with squirty cream on top, he told me that those things were the best things about Xmas.

Yanks- me too, totally get it.

Well if you call going into your overdraft debt which I guess you would I do. But wouldn't go as far as getting stuff on credit cards.i have £350 a month to spend on petrol,car tax etc and anything else I want but unfortunately feel I have no choice about going overdrawn because I have 5 family birthdays including my ds's in nov/dec even before Xmas so try to spread the cost by buying early but doesn't work I still get overdrawn. Then have tried to only spend max £25 on family and £35 on dh and only spent about £60 on ds for Xmas and birthday and stocking presents by using vouchers and getting second hand things but when you have 11 presents to buy for that too £350 really doesn't stretch.

People getting into debt - if you are so struggling that you can't buy anything at all without borrowing - how will you pay the money back ?