AIBU to think it is REALLY daft to get into debt buying xmas presents etc.

[IceBeing]

Do people really go into debt over christmas and if so, why?

I think there is a huge difference between taking on a debt that will give your family some sort of christmas with some presents and taking on a debt that will give them very expensive presents like ipads or the newest x-box or whatever.

So if my choice was no debt but no presents I would borrow. If it was modest presents and no debt that would be my first choice. large debt and large presents would be a no for me.

As others have pointed out there's manageable debt and there's unmanageable debt - the first isn't a problem and in the case of the second spending thousands on Christmas isn't wise. But with a three year old you are very insulated from Christmas and you do need to learn to think outside the box and a little empathy.

And a chocolate Orange being your best present ever is very sad, sorry.

I'm another who hates debt, but it's easy to hate debt if you have the money and it's never an issue. I'd find it very easy to ignore christmas because a) I'm a grown up b) I have no kids c) I can buy myself wonderful presents every bloody day.

I find it astounding that you think someone with small kids, who is living with a poor standard of living every day would not want to make just ONE DAY special for their children. And not iPad/bike/pony special, which you seem to have blithely assumed, but new clothes/good food/new cheap toy special. YABVVU.

OP, in my local shopping centre there's a "giving tree". You take a tag, buy and wrap a gift, then drop it off at a collection point so it can be given to a child who is being looked after by the local authority. Why? Because those kids are mugs who have been brainwashed by the capitalist system? No. Because Xmas is a shared experience, at a family and society level. It's not just about the material value of the present, it's a sign that somebody cares enough about you to get you something, however small, to unwrap on Xmas morning. That's why people who are already on the bones of their arse get into debt for Xmas.

Thanks for the kick up the arse though, I was wondering if I had time to do the giving tree thing but I'm now going to go and get two gifts.

Oh and next time you don't get any responses to a thread, how about going to unanswered messages and seeing if you can help somebody else out in a similar position, rather than starting controversial threads in AIBU? Xmas is about giving rather than receiving after all

OP was extremely glib and thoughtless with her initial post but perhaps she is beginning to see that she's offended many people here.

That whole chocolate orange thing though is a load of sanctimonious crap from the OP.

Chocolate orange anyone?

I completely understand why people on low incomes feel under pressure to provide to right presents and a the right food etc for Christmas, especially if their children are a bit older and have certain expectations.

However, some people really are daft and go completely OTT on buying way too much of everything as though it's some sort of crazy competition in excess. It's like they don't love their children enough if they can't provide at least 25 presents worth a total of 800 quid per child or whatever. And they spend the whole year paying it off until the whole crazy cycle starts again.

The debt I understand - to a point. The ludicrous, ostentatious gift giving and the irresponsible, excessive spending, er...not so much.

The op reminds me of my mother who sucked the joy out of many of my childhood christmases and virtually every christmas as an adult.
I will not be seeing her this christmas and that sadly for her will mean a happier christmas for me and my family.
I try and spend wisely whilst making it a lovely time of year for my dc's. We have had tough times financially over recent years and have had small bits of debt. I hate debt. It scares me.
Thankfully we are now in a better place financially and for that I am grateful. Certainly not sneering at others.
If this thread was started in a fit of pique by the op at lack if responses to her other thread I find that very unpleasant and quite frankly tells me all I need to know about the op.

Op-your judgiepants must be pulled up so high they must be strangling you. How smug you must feel with your reticulas views and opinions. Yabvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvu

I think it's important to spend within your means even if some of that spending is debt IYSWIM - as in, you can reasonably quickly pay it back. I mean I could put an iPad or ps4 (or both) on my credit card but I know that is way, way beyond our income level even (or especially, given interest) when spreading it out. But a hundred quid for a better roast dinner and some lego or board games, which would provide years of fun, would be worth it if it was that or no presents.

I am lucky at the moment that my DCs don't really ask for anything, they don't see toy adverts as we don't watch TV (only DVDs) and aren't yet bothered by peer pressure. So it's been easy to get decent presents that I know they'll love but are in my price range. So far!

Obviously noone wants to give their kids nothing and yes some people have to go into debt to pay for it.

Christmas has got massively out of control in general IMO. I keep reading about people spending 500 quid on each child and am shocked. But then kids want what their peers have too.

Yes I sound like old fart I know

Rufus

I tend to agree with you, Ruralretreating, too much kicking going on in this thread. Not very Christmassy.

It's quite an interesting topic, when you take the verbal violence out of it. I'm sure it's being covered on another thread somewhere, though.

If this thread was started in a fit of pique by the op at lack if responses to her other thread I find that very unpleasant and quite frankly tells me all I need to know about the op.

She's got PTSD. Is that all you need to know, or is it more fun to carry on attacking her? (I'm assuming she has now hidden AIBU, otherwise I wouldn't be talking behind her back, as it were.)

Well said Mrsdevere

Well said MrsD

Op made quite a few thoughtless jibes last night following her Initial swipe....

Hell would freeze over before my DC woke up on Christmas to no presents.

If that means debt, then that means debt.

I agree, MrsDV, the thread was a bad idea. I think OP got that in the end :)

I still also fail to see why schools and nurseries make an enormous deal of Christmas but not so much of Divali, Hannukah or Eid.

Also I don't know if anybody saw my contribution earlier about growing up in a dysfunctional and extremely poor household, but for what it's worth, I did, and I agree to a certain extent with the OP. Even as a 9 yo I could see you couldn't buy happiness, and that the illusory version dished up to us every year on December 25th only lasted a few hours.

It depends on the school- huge Diwali celebrations at ds's primary.

Duchesse - Our school make a big deal about those festivals too, but that might be as we live in a very multicultural area.