To Expect a Vegetarian Option at Christmas Lunch?

[HedgePony]

I am a vegetarian but for the last two Christmasses at my MiL's house, there has been nothing for me to eat at Christmas lunch! Literally all I can have is the peas! (I can't eat the potatoes as they are cooked in the goose fat and I can't eat the stuffing as it is cooked inside the goose.)

Then, for supper, there is only scraps - i.e. whatever is leftover from lunch and whatever else might be in the fridge. For everyone else this means cold goose or turkey, cold ham, cold pigs in blankets, etc. For me, this means wilted old salad and a wedge of cheese if I am lucky.

The first year, I thought it must have been an oversight (although I was upset about it as I had only had DD a few weeks before and was breastfeeding so I needed to eat). But when it happened again the next year, I was actually really upset.

I don't get on with MiL very well and she is quite a passive-aggressive person. So I sort of think maybe she is doing it on purpose. (Money is absolutely no object for her and I don't think it's that she doesn't have time either - she pretty much does the minimum for Christmas lunch/buys ready made stuff.)

I have on occasions when staying there taken veggie tarts, etc with me, but I am not sure if I should do this (as a host, I would be embarrassed if a guest felt they had to bring their own food!).

I should probs help more in the kitchen tbh but then I am busy looking after DD and I do help a bit.

Am I being unreasonable?!

OP I don't think your BU!
I am veggie for medical reasons and physically can't eat meat, we go to my SIL house every Christmas and her and her DH cook a massive roast for 20 inc. 5 young children, and still manage to do something separate for me! They normally do me a small tray which has potatoes, veggie sausages and veggie stuffing on, plus 1 or 2 vegetables on the side. They even do me my own pot of gravy! I always feel so guilty and offer to bring my own, but they insist, even though all the rest of the food from potatoes, stuffing and even some veg is cooked in/with meat. And they only have two single ovens to cook everything on! I'd personally just bring my own tart or something and just make a comment along the lines of "oh I had this in tge freezer and thought I'd save you the trouble, it only needs 30mins in the oven..." or something like that! Good luck though. I would be happy with just a bowl of potatoes and veg, but would pretty upset if they knew I was veggie and didn't have anything I could eat

I'd just take my own food and bring it out when I needed it. She's never going to get it.

"Never heard of vegetarian gravy until this thread. It sounds suspiciously like the result would be something like having the peas poured onto the plate, without the trouble of putting them through a sieve first but I suspect there is more to it than that. Cornflour, possibly"

You must lead a sheltered life, or have never had to cater for vegetarians. I use the Knorr onion gravy pots because DD won't eat meat or meat products. The gravy made from that is as good as a meaty gravy.

never heard of vegetarian gravy til this thread.

Lots of things are 'vegetarian', until someone calls it 'vegetarian', it is just a 'thing'. Bisto being one. Been veggie since the start. Tastes like gravy. What more do you need to know?

I take it you havent been in the gravy aisle of a supermarket at all in the last 20 years where you would have seen all sorts of vegetaran gravy options?

Until recently, most meat flavoured crisps were vegetarian. But meateaters wouldnt notice, or even know. Much 'meat flavoured' stuff is just that, flavoured with articifial meat flavouring. Because veggies look at ingredients, we know this, whilst meat eaters just accept it. So, all this bollocks of never eating anything vegetarian makes me chortle. Alot of the time, they just think they are eating meaty stuff when it has been totally veggie all along.

Yanbu simply because you have allowed this to go on for so long.

Why are you texting her, pick up the damn phone and speak to your mil. Why haven't you spoken to your dh about this? If he's so damn lovely, and you ask to ask his mum about food then that is not a criticism, it's asking whether or not you need to take your own stuff.

Or do you just want to be able to moan and talk about how unreasonable they all are?

funky - quite. my mum tells me she could 'never eat vegetarian' ; so she never eats plain pizza? eggs and chips? Cheese/beans on toast? FFS she doesn't even eat meat every day.

I am a meat eater, not massively, but I do eat it. i also love veg, and find the 'vegetarian option' is usually much more inventive and tasty than meat-and-2-veg.

I take it you havent been in the gravy aisle of a supermarket at all in the last 20 years where you would have seen all sorts of vegetaran gravy options?

Nope. I make gravy maybe twice a year, Christmas and Easter and I make it out of the juices from the meat, veg water and cornflour. I always thought that was what gravy is.

You must lead a sheltered life, or have never had to cater for vegetarians

Yes, I probably have had a sheltered life. I was dragged all over the world as a kid but we stoically stuck to our 'own' food. I didn't have pizza until I was in my 20s. I do cater for vegetarians routinely though. My ds is one. I eat meat maybe once or twice a week (just not a huge fan). I'm foreign though and don't make a lot of traditional English stuff routinely and vegetarianism is much more common in my 'native cuisine', but it doesn't involve gravy. I do make superb Yorkshire pudding.

I make it out of the juices from the meat, veg water and cornflour. I always thought that was what gravy is.

Yes, fat, water and flour. If you get your fat from non meat sources - bingo - you have vegetarian gravy. Simples.

Vegetarian gravy does not taste the same as gravy with meat juices and it isn't (in my opinion)as nice.

Vegetarian gravy does not taste the same as gravy with meat juices and it isn't (in my opinion)as nice.

It tastes much better as it doesn't have that stinky meaty taste IMHO.

But thanks for the valuable input there. Loving your work.

But thanks for the valuable input there. Loving your work.

Thanks for your valuable input too.

Surely it doesn't matter if it's not as nice

no one else has to eat it. they can drown in Turkey gravy should they wish.

Gileswithachainsaw Someone suggested that MIL should make vegetarian gravy rather than meat gravy so that OP could have it as well.

Wouldn't kill them if they did.

in fact given any stuffing inside meat is saturated in fat and revolting. and lots of animal.fat isn't good for you Some vege gravy would actually be better for them.

YANBU, she is. Not to mention very rude

I wouldn't go this year. Stay at home

And yes, your DH needs to step up to the plate as well

On the all-important question of vegetarian gravy, for our Christmas dinner, I always make mushroom and sherry sauce from Sarah Brown's Vegetarian Kitchen book. It's delicious - much nicer than ordinary gravy. (It goes with the cashew nut and mushroom loaf, from the same book.)

It seems to me that the OP's MIL is doing this deliberately to be nasty. Even if you think, "what a pain in the arse, I don't want to cook a vegetarian dish on top of everything else", you nonetheless bite your lip and find something the vegetarian can eat, even if it's an prepackaged meal from M&S. Or you could say, "I'm sorry, I'm not very good at vegetarian cooking, can you bring something along?" It's not that difficult to be polite, is it?

n fact given any stuffing inside meat is saturated in fat and revolting. and lots of animal.fat isn't good for you Some vege gravy would actually be better for them.

If the health benefits were the main concern they wouldn't eat Christmas dinner at all.

cone on if a bit of vege gravy ruins the dinner..It was a shit dinner to start with.

If there is such a book titled " Vegetarian Cooking For Dummies" then it would be an ideal Xmas gift for this MIL

cone on if a bit of vege gravy ruins the dinner..It was a shit dinner to start with.

That's a matter of opinion. I wouldn't like what OP's MIL cooks anyway but if that is what they like eating I wouldn't expect them to change for my benefit. I would take/cook some food for myself (as OP has said she will do in the future).

Loving the idea of a turkey roast with all the trimmings as healthy food.

Only on mumsnet!

Loving the idea of a turkey roast with all the trimmings as healthy food.

Who said that?

OnBlueDolphinStreet Look.